You Found Me
by asdfghjklb
Summary: Best friends Damon and Elena haven't seen each other in three years after a falling out. What happens when they reconnect? AU
1. Everything Is Falling Apart

_**Love and stoplights can be cruel. **_

_**-Sesame Street **_

_**~Prologue~ **_

"Damon, I don't understand how you of all people could be nervous." I sat on my best friends, Damon Salvatore's bed as I went through a magazine and he went around the room getting ready for his big date with Katherine Pierce. He has been in love with this girl since I can remember and she was finally giving him the time of day. It made me sick to my stomach how much control she had over him. He couldn't even find the right shade of black to wear. I was the girl and it was all the same to me. My jealous side was kicking in as she was taking up all his time. It wasn't like I had a claim to him, but to me she was tearing him out of my grip. And for some reason I feel like he isn't the same guy that I've known all my life.

"You don't get it Elena." He said while rolling his eyes.

"Damon, not even I have been this nervous and neurotic about a date. I never thought I would see the day where you would be."

"Why don't you just read your little magazine and tell me yay or nay." He said while holding up a dark blue shirt and a gray one.

"Blue. It brings out your eyes." I said unconsciously and he just gave me an odd look and went about his frantic wardrobe searching. "Your date is in thirty minutes Damon, you should probably take a shower now."

"You're right." He said while throwing off his shirt and I immediately cast my eyes downward back to my magazine. I didn't need to boost his ego by ogling him. "Don't think about me naked too much." Was the last thing he said before I heard him run off to his bathroom. Damn, that boy did not know what he did to me.

"You are thinking of him naked, aren't you?" I suddenly jumped as Stefan Salvatore disrupted my day dream. Stefan was Damon's little brother who was also my age. The Salvatore brothers have been living in the Boarding house just the two of them since Damon was old enough to look after Stefan. Their father was some huge business man who lived and worked in New York while they lived here in the house they grew up in. Or what I should probably say, their mansion they grew up in. Their mother died when Stefan and I were in middle school and Damon in high school, so it has just been them two around Mystic Falls for a long time. Stefan and I have been friends since birth practically but Damon was always a different story. He wasn't just only my best friend but he was my everything. We were inseparable and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

"Yea, totally." I said sarcastically, doing my best to blow it off.

"Oh please you are so obvious." He walked over to the bed and flopped down next to me.

"I don't know what you are talking about." After a long pause I couldn't help myself and gave in. "I'm not that obvious am I?" I asked hoping to God that Damon didn't have a clue about the existence of feelings I've been hiding for years now.

"To the outside world you couldn't be more transparent but Damon is oblivious."

"Good." I mumbled as I flipped the page of my magazine.

"So when are you going to make a move on him?"

"Shh!" I said as I heard the water turn off. The last thing I wanted was for Damon to hear a word of this conversation.

"Sorry." He whispered. "So what are your birthday plans?"

"Absolutely nothing!" The words came out more abrasive than I had wanted them to. Everyone knew what tomorrow was and it was not a day for celebrating. Tomorrow would be a year from the day my parents car had driven off the bridge that had killed them. It was my seventeenth birthday when it happened and there was no way that tomorrow wouldn't be filled with emotional breakdowns and tears. I hated birthdays now.

"Elena, you can't let what happened last year-"

"Stefan please don't. It's really not that big of a deal." I gave a small smile, trying to lighten the mood a little. "Besides, it is only a number." Ever since my parents died I felt like I grew up and I never thought my age fit appropriate with my situation. I always felt like I had bigger issues and more serious things on my plate than your average teenager. So turning eighteen to me was long over due. But of course Stefan saw it as being a milestone in my life. He wanted to celebrate and I wanted to pretend that birthdays didn't apply to me.

"I can't believe you wont let me throw you a party." Stefan wasn't a party guy so I was a little taken back by that statement. "What?" He said as he noticed the shocked expression on my face.

"Whatever you wouldn't throw me a party. You are just saying that. We all know how you hate crowds and avoid them at all cost."

"That is not true!" He said as he paused for a moment. "Okay, maybe it is true." He sighed and turned back to me. "But for you..." He suddenly got serious and gave me the expression I've been used to ever since freshman year when I was sure he had a thing for me. "I'd do it for you." He said with a small smile and I almost felt guilty for turning away his affection so much. I loved Stefan, I really did. But I just couldn't picture myself with him. There was always something in the way. Or someone else in the way.

"What have you two kids been fighting about?" Speaking of the devil, Damon came out of the bathroom in only a towel and I felt the air getting sucked out of my lungs. I tried to push down the butterflies and fits of nervousness in my stomach at what I was seeing. It's not like I haven't seen it before but every time he shows off his body like that I get a little uneasy. "Seriously, I could hear you all the way in the bathroom."

"We have been discussing why me turning eighteen tomorrow isn't a big deal, or at least why I don't think it is."

"Oh my god... Elena I'm so sorry, I totally forgot." He said with wide eyes.

"It's fine." I said emotionless as I tried to brush off the fact that I thought he was just being nice this whole time and not bringing it up because of the accident. Apparently I was wrong.

"You are mad at me." He stated and I heard Stefan sigh next to me.

"No I'm not."

"Okay I'm not listening to you guys get into a lovers quarrel right now." Stefan said while interrupting us. Damon and I both rolled our eyes at that comment. He was always saying stuff like that to make us uncomfortable. It was almost like he was just teasing me while Damon stood there oblivious to it all.

"For the last time Stefan, our relationship is not like that." Damon said while walking over to his closest. "And just so you know, I have a date tonight."

"Whatever. Okay back to our previous conversation." Stefan said while turning towards me. "There are a lot of perks of being eighteen, Elena. You get to hook up with old men like Damon now. That's a plus." Stefan smirked at me and I felt my heart flutter at the thought as I quickly looked away from them both to hide my blush. "Wait, Damon you have a date?" He said looking confused. "Shouldn't you have a problem with that?" He said to me and I shook my head.

"For the last time Stefan. There is nothing between Damon and I." I shot him a warning look as his mouth opened to argue.

"Yet." Stefan added which only caused me to sigh. It was like talking to a brick wall.

"And by the way." Damon's head popped out of the closest with a scowl. "I'm not that old."

"Damon, how many times do I have to tell you that the blue shirt looks the best on you? Katherine will like blue." I said frustrated as he was looking through his shirts again. "Is this what you have to deal with every time he goes on a date?" I asked Stefan as we laughed at Damon. I got off the bed and walked up to him while grabbing the shirt and demanding he put it on

"Fine." He sighed while sliding on the shirt as I started to button it up. "Tomorrow you should come over. Get your mind off things."

"Yea, I'm going to need you. It's going to be rough. It's already rough." I said while focusing my trembling hands on succeeding to button the last few buttons.

"Hey, it will be okay." He said while grabbing my hands to stop me from my task. "You got me."

"I know." I smiled slightly. "That's probably the only thing that will get me through."

"I'm late." He suddenly let go of my hands and started to back away as he looked around for his phone and wallet. I grabbed them from the dresser and stopped his frantic searching as I shoved them his way. "What would I do without you?" He said while kissing my forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow." He rushed out of the room, leaving Stefan and I behind. I looked towards Stefan who was watching me carefully.

"Don't worry, Elena. One day he will be rushing off to you."

"I doubt that."

* * *

><p>I couldn't get any sleep that night as it was filled with tossing and turning. My thoughts were going a hundred miles a hour and I couldn't stay calm. I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin. The feeling never stopped as today was my birthday and I felt like dying. I was on edge and nothing was helping me. The only thing I could count on was spending the day with Damon. He would be the only person who could tame whatever was happening inside me.<p>

"I take it you didn't get any sleep either." I jumped a little when I heard my brother come up from behind and sit down on the couch besides me.

"Nope." I sighed and turned towards him to see dark rings under his eyes. "Jeez, Jeremy you need some rest."

"You shouldn't even talk." He laughed a little as he looked at me. "You look like hell too."

"Thanks." I said sarcastically.

"So have you told Jenna about UCLA yet?" I groaned at the thought. Our aunt Jenna moved in with us after our parents death and she has been nothing but wonderful. I didn't know how to tell her about going to college on the other side of the country. Hell, I couldn't even tell Damon or Stefan yet. Jeremy was the only one who knew and he has sworn not to tell anyone.

"Elena! You are leaving in a week!"

"I know, I know. I plan on telling her tomorrow. I'm just still trying to process it all myself."

"You should probably tell Damon today. He's going to be crushed."

"Yea." I mumbled. "I'm sure Katherine will be there for a shoulder to cry on." I said bitterly and he snorted at me while shaking his head. "I should probably call him." I noticed it was going on noon and I said that I'd be over in the afternoon. I sat up from the couch and went to walk away when Jer stopped me.

"Elena." He said softly and I turned towards him. "Happy Birthday." He threw something at me and at last minute I was able to catch it.

"Jeremy what did I tell you about getting me something?"

"Just open it. I didn't technically buy you anything." I looked at him suspiciously as I tore the wrapping paper off the small box. My breath hitched when I saw what was in the box.

"But..." I could even form words. It was my mother's necklace that I've seen on her almost every day of my life. A little before the accident the chain broke and my mother stopped wearing it. But somehow Jeremy got it fixed. "Thank you." I whispered with tears sliding down my face as I hugged him for all I was worth. "This is perfect." I sighed while tracing the pendant.

"She would have wanted you to have it." He said while letting me go. "Now go call Damon."

I ran up to my room to find my cell phone and once I did, I immediately called Damon, excited to tell him about what Jeremy gave me. After a few rings I started to get worried and then he finally picked up.

"Hello." He said abruptly and I immediately knew something wasn't right.

"Hey Damon. What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"So you would not believe what Jeremy was able to-"

"Listen Elena." He said while interrupting me. "I'm really sorry but I can't do anything today. Last night I ended up getting sick. I must have the flu and I don't want to share it with you."

"Oh." I said shocked. "Are you going to be okay?" I asked with disappointment oozing from every word. It figures the one day I needed him most...

"Yea, I'll be fine. I just want to sleep all day. "

"Do you want me to bring over some soup or something?"

"No!" He said harshly and I was a little taken back.

"Okay, Okay. I wont."

"I'm going...back to sleep." He said and before I could even say goodbye the phone hung up. That was strange. I threw my phone onto my bed and sighed. I guess I would have to sulk in misery alone today.

* * *

><p>For most of the day I sat on the the porch in silence as tears were occasional making an appearance. I tried to occupy myself with something. Anything.<p>

"I thought you were going to be with Damon all day?" I heard a voice coming from the stairs leading up to the porch.

"Stefan, what are you doing here?" I asked surprised

"I thought if I left a gift on your porch you wouldn't protest so much." He said while gesturing to the gift in his hands. I rolled my eyes while laughing slightly. "So why aren't you with Damon?"

"He is sick." I said confused. Surely his brother who lives with him should know that. "Haven't you seen him today?"

"Yea, early in the morning I had a run in with him and Katherine who stumbled into the house ripping clothes off as I was innocently sitting on the couch. It was so awkward." I frowned but was trying to keep a laugh in at imagining Stefan's horror.

"Well he said he was getting sick early this morning. So maybe she left." I said convincing myself that nothing actually happened between them. Or at least hoping that hooking up with her caused him to be physically ill and he wont see her ever again.

"I didn't see her leave at all." Stefan said as I glared at him.

"Sometimes Stefan it is necessary to lie." He rolled his eyes at me then looked around.

"Is this what you have been doing all day?"

"Yep. I've been desperately trying to distract myself. Nothing has really worked yet."

"Lets do something." He said while grabbing onto my hand and pulling me up from the swing on my porch. "I'm taking you to the movies."

"Stefan..." I was about to protest but then I realized maybe that was what I needed. "Okay." I said while giving in.

* * *

><p>I waited in line at theater as Stefan bought our tickets. Our movie was in the smallest theater that they had and I figured it wouldn't be as crowded because the movie has been out for a while. When we finally started looking for seats when I saw that there was only one more couple in the theater that was a few rows ahead of the row we picked. There faces were clued to each other and I didn't want to be seeing that the whole movie.<p>

"It's cold." I heard Stefan mumble. I instantly thought of Damon. I decided to take out my phone and send him a text to make sure he was alright. When I was done I put my phone back in my pocket and went to turn to Stefan and ask something before the trailers started.

"Your phone is going off." I heard a women from above us. I guess they came up for air. "Who is it?"

"It's Elena." I felt my heart drop as I immediately turned around in my seat to see Damon sitting there. What the hell? So much for being sick!

"Ugh. Doesn't it drive you insane how attached she is to you?" The girl huffed and my jaw dropped. She must be Katherine.

"Yea." He said after a long pause. "It's annoying." I felt my heart stop as I suddenly stood up as fiery overcame me.

"Well this annoying, attached girl was just making sure her sick best friend was doing okay!" I screamed at them. I watched Damon's eyes go wide as he stared at me. "I'm sorry for bothering you so much!" I screamed and started to walk down the isle and then down the steps doing my best to get out of there.

"Elena!" I heard Stefan and Damon yell at the same time and a remark from Katherine that I zoned out. I quickly ran out the door of the theater and as it became all too suffocating. I would never have thought Damon would do this to me.

"Wait! I know you're upset-"

"Upset?" I yelled as I turned around to see Damon just coming out of the theater door. "That's an understatement! I'm hurt. Of all days Damon! The one day I needed you. The one fucking day that I needed my best friend..."

"I'm sor-"

"Don't you dare say you are sorry! You're not! Don't you see what she is doing to you? You bailed on me! This whole day I have felt something dying inside me and you decided that Katherine was more important. You know what it is like Damon! You know how this feels! You know this pain! When your mom died I cried with you. I was there through everything and I am still there for you every day. But that was just too much to ask for in return, wasn't it?" I stopped to catch my breath and to see the guilt coming from him. "What happened to you? I don't even know you anymore. " I glared at him as he just stood there with a desperate look on his face. I couldn't even look at him I felt so betrayed. "You know what, you made your choice. Katherine is waiting for you." I turned around and started walking away from him.

"Please don't leave like this." He ran up and grabbed my arm forcing me to turn towards him.

"Let go of me!" I wiggled out of his grasp.

"I never wanted to hurt you!" Not even his pleading blue eyes could get him out of this one.

"Well it doesn't matter does it? You knew how bad today was going to be and you knew I was hurting. But you didn't care. I don't even matter to you anymore. We both know I can't compete with Katherine."

"You aren't competing with Katherine." He said as if it was the most ridiculous thought in the world. I wasn't crazy, he was just too wrapped up in her to see it.

"Yes I am!" I said exasperated "But it doesn't matter anymore. I'll leave you alone as long as you do the same. I wont be such a bother anymore." I choked out and this time he left me go as I turned away from him. I needed to get out of there. I needed a break. Maybe it was a good thing that I was finally leaving this town.

* * *

><p>It had been a week since that awful day and I finally got the guts to tell Jenna about California. I had to leave soon and we decided that Jenna was going to drive with me. I couldn't thank her enough since the drive was so insane. I didn't want to fly out, to tell the truth I think I needed a few days of peace.<p>

Jeremy was helping me shove some more things into the car before we left. Most of my high school friends I've already said goodbye to. Stefan however stayed around to send me off. He wanted to be there till the last second. I didn't mind but there was an aching in my chest that it was the wrong Salvatore.

I haven't talked to Damon since our fight and I didn't plan on it. He didn't even know I was leaving but I'm sure he will soon. Stefan had just found out but he promised to keep it a secret till I was gone.

"We should get going." Jenna said while looking at her watch. "Isn't Damon going to say goodbye?"

"We already did." I lied as I finished off packing and went to hug Jeremy "I'm going to miss you." I said while squeezing him tight. Call me everyday and come to visit."

"As long as you come home every once in a while."

"Sure." I said even though in the back of my head I already disliked the idea.

"And you!" I said while pointing to Stefan. "You behave." I gave him a hug as well and tried to wiggle out as he clutched on too tight.

"I'm going to miss you guys." I wiped away the tears that escaped as I waved to them and got into the car. I couldn't help the feeling that this was wrong. I was forgetting somebody. I just didn't have it in me to accept the fact that I was leaving Mystic Falls behind. And most importantly; who I was leaving behind.

_**AN: Thanks for reading. Tell me what you think and if you have any suggestions:) I named this story after the song you found me by the fray, which I'm sure all of you know the song. I kind of got the idea for this story from the it. I don't know if it will stay as the name but I couldn't really come up with anything else.  
><strong>_

_**Also if you read my other story Between Love & Hate, I will be updating that soon. **_

_**Review! **_


	2. Not even years will dull the pain

_**"To love a person is to learn the song that is in their heart, and to sing it to them when they have forgotten." **_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Three Years Later<strong>_

It had been years since I have thought of the Salvatore brothers. I finally got on with my life and moved across the country to go to UCLA for my journalism degree. I could have gone to a college closer to home but I thought the farther away from Mystic Falls the better. I found that the moment I left, I was able to breath again. I was able to fake something that I wasn't able to with the constant reminders of reality. Out in California I was able to pretend that everything that happened to me in my teens was just a bad dream. I could be delusional with the thoughts that there was still family waiting for me somewhere out there in the world. Instead of how it was in Virginia that every corner I turned I was reminded of my pain with pitiful glances and memorials all over town. I was able to forget about my parents. I was even able to forget about Damon and Stefan, well at least I was before today.

Everywhere I looked I was brought back with a memory of my eighteenth birthday. Whether it was from my box of birthday cards I had since I was six or my contacts in phone that evidently Damon was still in. Even a bracelet Stefan had given me that day made an appearance in my over filled jewelry box. It was almost as if someone was trying to tell me something.

It was my twenty first birthday and my best friend Caroline insisted that we celebrate. She was the first person I met while moving here to this brand new world and luckily she was one of the good ones. The personalities I met out here were insane and you wouldn't find anyone like them in Mystic Falls. Caroline would have been the talk of the town if she lived there. Her outfits and outgoing personality would stand out but here she was just one of a million. I guess that was kind of why I liked her. And the fact she has been nothing but amazing to me. We were dorming together our first few years of college and we were now apartment hunting. We wanted a place before summer started which was coming up.

"I don't understand why you don't want to celebrate!" Caroline went on for the umpteenth time as we waited for the owner of the apartment complex we were thinking about renting from.

"Age is just a number." I sighed again, getting hit with a blast of deja vu.

"It is not just a number!" She insisted. "Last year we had a huge blow out party. We have to somehow top that."

"No Caroline. Last year we didn't have a huge blow out party, you did. I only knew some of those people who came. And everyone was drunk and obnoxious. I really don't want to deal with that again."

"It was your twentieth birthday, what did you expect? A clown and balloons?"

"Yes, that is exactly what I expected." I said sarcastically. "It is also what I expect for this birthday. I don't want anything drastic Caroline. Birthday's aren't really a thing I celebrate anymore." I was suddenly hit with flashbacks of the accident and felt myself start to freak out as a lump started to form in my throat, threatening to make it hard to breath. "Ever since..."

"I know, I know. Ever since the accident, but that is why I think we need a distraction. If I can't throw you a party then fine, but at least let me do something."

"If you find something reasonable I will agree." I finally gave in once I saw the owner walking our way with the keys in her hands. I immediately did my best to control myself as I didn't want to make a scene.

We were shown around the first apartment but it was way too small for us. It turns out that the women also owned bigger apartments down the street that was supposed to be more spaced out. It didn't take long for Caroline to fall in love with the place the moment she walked in.

"So there are three bedrooms and one bathroom..." The women went on explaining all the details of the place and I think I was starting to fall in love with it as well. Our hopeful thoughts of staying here vanished the moment the price came out of her mouth.

"Caroline we cannot afford that!" I said while picking my jaw off the floor. The only money I had coming in was from waitressing a few days a week and that only got me by so far. I still had to dip into money from my savings account that I promised myself I wouldn't. I had a good amount of money from when my parents died but I was determined not to waste it. I wouldn't want to disappoint them with throwing away money I shouldn't even have. But at the same I knew if they were still alive they wouldn't let me go hungry.

"I know." Caroline said with an expression on her face as if she just smelled bad garbage. "Is there anyway we could maybe get a lower price?" She asked which we received a 'what do you think?' expression from the women. "Wait! There are three rooms! What if we got another roommate? Sure it would still be hard but we could actually afford this place then."

"Who would we room with?"

"Bonnie! I'll call her!" She looked at me for approval and I just rolled my eyes and I signaled for her to call her up. Bonnie was Caroline's best friend for almost all her life. We clicked but I never developed a personal relationship with her yet. I watched as Caroline eagerly talked to Bonnie while I zoned out through the conversation and started walking around the apartment. It was really nice. It was up on the second floor so we had a nice balcony with an even better view. There was a bedroom on the other end of the living room and the other two rooms were connected by a bathroom over by the kitchen. It was idealistically perfect.

"So what is the verdict?" I asked as I heard her hang the phone up. I couldn't tell by her face because she looked halfway let down and excited at the same time.

"So what do you want first, good news or bad news?"

"Bad news." It was always easier for the good news to soften the blow afterward.

"Bonnie can't move in with us." She said with a pout. "She said she really can't afford it right now and her place is closer to school and work. I couldn't really guilt trip her into it because I understand what it's like." Suddenly her sad exterior was filled with joy when she started jumping up and down. "Can I tell you the good news now?" She was bursting with excitement and it would probably be cruel to have her keep it in.

"Tell me the good news!"

"Bonnie got us free tickets for the dodgers game tonight!"

"What? How?" Surprisingly I was actually excited. I didn't mind spending my birthday this way. It was more calm and didn't involve binge drinking, plus I loved sports.

"Her dad was going to take his girlfriend but he got called into work."

"Bonnie didn't want them?"

"She said she has a final to study for. Aren't you excited?" She asked with the biggest smile on her face.

"Yeah, it is going to be fun! But why are you so happy? Last time I checked, baseball wasn't your thing."

"Are you kidding me? Do you know how many hot guys will be there? I'm going to have my pick of thousands!" I laughed as she rambled on and was taken by surprise when the owner came back into the room. I didn't even realized she left.

"So have you two made a decision?"

"Actually we are going to need a few days to think it over." Or to just find a roommate.

"Okay, we have to go because the game starts in a few hours!" Caroline ushered me out of the place while she bantered on and on about what she as going to wear.

At the end of all Caroline's protests she finally gave up when I stood my ground and didn't change. I thought a simple pair of shorts and a dodger t-shirt was exactly what to wear to the game, not high heels, a dress, or anything fancy. It took me a while to convince Caroline of that.

We stopped by at Bonnie's to pick up the tickets and then headed straight for the stadium. It was slightly a long drive but I didn't mind. Parking was a nightmare though and it took us a while to walk all the way to the doors.

"Regretting wearing those shoes?" I asked as she had a painful scowl on her face.

"Shut up!"

"I guess beauty is pain." I mumbled when we finally reached the stadium. After getting through and having Caroline's bag searched I was looking for the number of where our seats were. And of course Caroline was busy scoping out guys buying food at the concessions.

"We aren't in the nosebleed seats, are we?" She asked while leaning over and looking at my ticket.

"Actually no, I think we have decent seats. " We went up a floor and I ended up finding our section almost right away. I looked up at all the seats and started to navigate my way between the people coming down the aisles while I pulled Caroline with me.

"Oh great." Caroline mumbled as we found our spot. Our seats were amazing, the players didn't even seem like ants. The only problem was who we were sitting by. Right next to us were you most typical die-hard fans with paint covering there body while they hollered and yelled obnoxiously even though the game hasn't even started yet. "This is going to be fun." She said sarcastically and she wasn't even the one sitting directly next to them.

"Don't be so negative." I said while focusing my thoughts on the good stuff. "It's awesome we got to be here anyway."

"You are right." She said while digging through her purse and pulling out binoculars.

"Caroline we are like right in front of the field, you don't need those." I said while chuckling a little.

"Like I really am going to be watching the game." She said while rolling her eyes then using them to look at the crowd.

"Seriously?" She started roaming and I already knew I wasn't going to get anywhere. I started looking around and watching the big screen.

"Oh... " I heard her whisper and I turned my attention back to her. "There is the hottest guy I think I've ever seen sitting directly in front of us." Her eyes were wide and she looked like she was put under a spell.

"Really? The hottest?" I looked down in front of me to only see the back of his head. He had pitch black hair that was tousled and that is really all I could tell. "Whatever you say."

Caroline always brightened my mood but I almost wished I had someone else to go to the game with. For the first couple innings I had to explain most of the rules and basics. It only got worse when she started to complain. As much as I loved having Caroline as my best friend, times like this is when I missed having a guy to share this with.

"Why don't you go get us some beers or something?" I asked while slightly annoyed but it seemed that having something to do excited her.

"Okay!" She rushed off and I finally was able to take a breath and actually enjoy the game.

It was a pretty close game since the very beginning and the inning was almost over. Caroline came back and handed me a cup right when I heard the smack of the ball and the whole crowd shot up onto their feet and the cheering began. I was trying to see where the ball went and wasn't paying much attention when I felt one of the super fans knock into me pretty hard and I almost stumbled on top of the seat below me with only Caroline to catch me just in time.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I heard someone yell right by me and I looked up to see the faceless super hottie cringing as the beer that was in my hands not only seconds ago was dripping down the back of his white t-shirt. "You seriously need to watch-" His words were caught in his throat as he turned around and got a look of me. I was mortified as the crowd around us settled down and started staring. I was so overwhelmed and humiliated I instantly started apologizing and grabbing my sweatshirt to try to help dry it when I froze.

"Elena?" I finally got a good look at the man in front of me and I felt my stomach drop. No way, this could not be happening. My knees grew weak as the man who had been haunting my thoughts all day was right in front of me.

"Damon..."

AN: Thanks for all of the reviews! I know the summary kind of gave this a basic plot but I feel like there is going to be so much more going on. So keep an open mind:)

Review!


	3. Imagination helps my feeling disappear

_**"Love is the hardest habit to break, and the most difficult to satisfy."**_

_**- Drew Barrymore**_

"Damon?" You have got to be kidding. Someone up there was playing a cruel cruel cruel joke on me. I felt my stomach churn and the possibility of being physical sick was becoming more and more of a problem. Every bone in my body was screaming at me to run. I needed to get the hell out of here. Of all places! A stadium packed with thousands of people and the one person who I've been avoiding for so long just ends up in my lap. I was now positive that I must have done something wrong to deserve this.

"Oh my God, you've grown up." I was feeling even more uncomfortable as his gaze lingered. Was there something on my face? Did I have a stain on my shirt? Dammit, this is the exact reason why I had to leave Mystic Falls. Being around Damon just made me unsure and self-conscious. Even three years couldn't change that. Before I knew what was happening Damon was jumping over the back of his chair and suddenly squeezing me to death. It didn't matter how much I was trying to escape and die right there on spot, I couldn't help but to wrap my arms around him just as tight. At that moment I felt like I was home again, which I didn't know how much I was craving till right now.

"Look at you!" I said after he let me go and I was able to actually look him over. "You have muscles!" I said while gripping his arms. Damon was always built but the years did him good. "And facial hair!" He laughed while touching the little amount of scruff on his face.

"Only for the moment. It was a lazy day." No matter how bad I wanted to still be mad and a little abrasive towards him, I missed him. I missed him with every fiber of my being. I missed his voice, his hugs, his jokes that were only funny to him and that smirk.

"I missed you." I said with sincerity.

"Then you should have came home." His voice was a tad bitter but still playful. I was probably the only one to detect it. "Or at least called." His eyes bore into mine and I had to break the contact. I wasn't in the mood to feel guilty but I knew that now I wasn't the only one who was holding a grudge.

"Oh, how rude of me." I said while turning towards Caroline. "This is my best friend Caroline." I gestured towards her and I could feel Damon's eyes on me. "Caroline this is Damon."

"Well hello Damon." She immediately gave him her special smile when he grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it.

"Hi Caroline." He said with charm oozing from his voice. She started to giggle, only for me to shoot down the forming thoughts in her head with a glance as I slightly shook my head and mouthed 'no'. She knew the look and the smile instantly dropped. "This is Alaric." He turned back to the guy who was waiting patiently for attention. "He is _my_..."He looked back to me with a pointed look. "...best friend." I gave Alaric a tight smile as I was judging him in my head. Best friend my ass. I don't care if has been years, that was and will always be my position.

"Well it is nice to meet your _best friend_." I said tight-lipped while looking at Damon and not even acknowledging Alaric.

"Same here." He said with the same tone in his voice. During this all we both didn't notice Caroline jump down next to Alaric as she sat in Damon's seat and watched the game till I turned back to empty spot.

We both sat down when we noticed people starting to complain about us being in the way. The tension slowly made its way back between us as we sat in silence. I didn't know what to say and I opened my mouth a few times but words failed me. I knew Damon was going through the same thing when utter silence came from him. Damon always had something to say. Throughout the game we sat there and instead of concentrating on Damon, I watched attentively as each inning just proved how close it was going to be.

"Oh come on! He was totally safe!" Damon scared me as his voice came out of nowhere.

"I know!" I said after a bad call causing the teams to switch sides. "Does this guy need glasses? He was practically on the base when the ball was still in the outfield!" I didn't even notice Damon slightly laughing at me. "What?" I asked while laughing myself

"Nothing, it's just you really haven't changed much."

"Well you have! I mean come on, you are wearing white! Are pigs flying?" I said while looking up in the sky.

"Oh shut up." He said while lightly punching my shoulder.

"Sorry about, you know spilling on you." I frowned after getting a huge whiff of beer.

"It's fine. I needed to cool off anyway. I shouldn't have yelled at you. I thought you were a guy. God, I look like such an ass." He said while looking around at all the people around us, some which were still giving us an odd look. "Half these people probably think I'm now trying to hit on you after I realized you were hot." I blushed at his words but tried to hide it while looking away.

For the rest of the game we made small chit chat as we eagerly watched the game. The dodgers ended up winning which caused for an awkward high five between us.

"Hey, Elena why don't you make up for dumping your beer all over Damon and buy him a drink at Matt's." Caroline said eagerly. Apparently Alaric and her really hit it off as she was already clinging to his arm. I went to decline but Damon spoke before I got the chance.

"Yea, you owe me. And we have a lot of catching up to do."

"You're right, we do." I gave in while retrieving a big smile from Caroline.

"Who's Matt?" Alaric asked as we made out way down the rows of seats.

"He owns the place. The name is tacky so we have always called it Matt's."

It took Caroline and I about an hour to get out of the stadium, back to the car and out on the road. We gave them directions on how to get to the little Bar and Grill that we have been going to since I moved here. To anyone else it looked like a hole in the wall but once you ate the food it became paradise.

We got there before the boys and I hoped that they would just decide not to come after all. As much as I loved seeing Damon again, our false pretense was going break and our real issues were going to be put out on the table. I wasn't emotionally prepared for that yet. I didn't want to explain why I had to run and leave him and I really didn't want to hear why he exactly chose Katherine over me.

"So you never told me that Damon was sex on legs." Caroline said with an accusing look.

"Sorry. It just slipped my mind." I shook it off.

"No wonder why you have been in love with him for so long."

"I'm not in love with him." I said like she was crazy. "At least not anymore. I got over him a long time ago."

"What exactly happened between you too? You've never actually told me."

"I don't like talking about it." She frowned but didn't press the issue. "Lets just say he hurt me in a way I never thought possible. I was still mourning the death of my parents and he decided to go on a date instead of be there for me. He made some excuse up and as I was trying to get my mind off the situation I found him with the girl. I gave up on him after that. I didn't even say goodbye when I left for college."

"He hurt you bad." She said observing me. "How could you even have liked a guy that could do that to you?"

"That guy wasn't the one I fell in love with. And there is more to him rather than the fact that he could set fire to dry grass, Caroline. There are many layers to Damon Salvatore and once you peal them all back his personality is just as beautiful as his face. I just hope he somehow found that person again."

"No matter how much you deny it Elena, I can see only a few hours and you are getting wrapped up in him again."

"That's not true. If he wants to be my friend again, he has a long way to go. Those feelings will always be there but I can't dwell on them. I recoil from the idea. The day he hurt me, he scarred me enough to be able to not want him anymore."

"Well you know what we need to do?" I looked up from the drink menu when I heard the excitement in her voice. "We need to hook you up with a guy who is worth it. So all those feeling you had for Damon will return for a different guy. A better guy"

"I've fallen hard once Caroline." I said with a sigh. "And it was so intense that I'm pretty sure that kind of feeling is a one time deal. I just can't picture myself settling."

"So you would rather be alone?" I thought it over. No, I didn't want to be alone forever. I wanted that feeling again. I wanted to be able to have someone who I love so much that it hurts and they feel the same way back. But that didn't mean it was an option for me.

"Whose the guy you are talking about?" I was caught of guard as Damon suddenly slid into the booth and casually put him arm around me. How much of that conversation did he hear?

"No one you would know of." I said quickly.

"We were just talking about Elena's love life. Or lack of." Caroline said as Alaric sat next to her. "Damon let me get your advice on something." My eyes widened, afraid where Caroline was about to take this. "She has had this thing for a guy ever since..." I gave her a pointed glare on not to release any obvious information. "Ever since she moved here."

"Will you just stop." I said in a warning tone.

"No, keep going. I'm intrigued now." Damon said with a smirk.

"This guy is a real asshole and he broke her heart when it was in a fragile state. You know the type. Can you please explain to her that she can't hide and never try to open up to a guy again."

"What kind of guy wouldn't want to date you?" He said turning towards me. The irony was killing me.

"He's a real oblivious jerk who doesn't know how to take a hint if one was thrown in his face." Caroline said bitterly towards Damon. "He's right here..." I saw her lose her control and it finally hit her what she just did. "He's Matt." She said quickly, trying to cover it up and pointing at Matt who was walking over to our table.

"Caroline!" I yelled. What the hell was she doing? We both knew that story wasn't going to last long. Every time I walk into this place Matt asks me out and I always have had to make a stupid excuse up.

I couldn't help but notice the glare that Damon was sending Matt's way as he asked what we wanted to drink. Once he left Damon turned towards me with an incredulous look on his face.

"Him? Of all guys you could have fell in love, you choose with him? We had a thousand of him in Mystic Falls."

"Maybe that's why I like him." I offered knowing that there was no way to set Damon straight now.

"I don't like him." He said while turning to look at him make drinks at the bar. "I don't like him at all."

"Damon what's that on your face?" Alaric asked while staring at him. "Is that... Is that jealousy right there?" He asked Caroline as she peered as well.

"Yea, I see it too." She said while nodding and I couldn't help but bust out laughing as they all stared at me. Apparently we both had meddling best friends. And the fact that Damon could be jealous was laughable.

"What?" I asked as they all gave me confused looks. "You guys act like I can't laugh." I said while rolling my eyes at them all. Our drinks finally came and I got a lingering smile from Matt which of course Damon noticed.

"Are you sure he isn't into you too?"

"Yea." Caroline said for me. "He told her he doesn't date brunettes. Blondes are more his type. Who could blame him?" She said with a giggle while I sat there frowning at her. She was making it look like I was pathetic and couldn't get a guy if I put my mind to it.

"Wait." I said suddenly noticing something. "Damon what are you even doing here?" It finally struck me that he was actually here.

"I'm on... vacation. For the whole summer." The last time I talked to Stefan he said Damon was following in the footsteps of his father and was supposed to be the next big Salvatore in the business world. If I wasn't mistaken you don't take month long vacations from that type of job. I decided to ignore it seeing it wasn't the place or time to bring it up. "I'm actually in a sticky situation."

"We don't need to bring that up right now...at this exact moment." Alaric said with a shaky voice which made me suspicious.

"No, you can tell us." I said encouragingly.

"Well I was going to stay out here with Alaric but his girlfriend, Isobel and him have decided to take the next step and move in together."

"Girlfriend?" I watched as Caroline went pale and turned to send Alaric a death glare that even I flinched at as she dramatically moved away from him. Apparently something more was going on between them that I hadn't caught on to.

"Yeah so I've been looking around for an apartment I could stay in for the summer. Haven't found one up to my standards yet."

"Whoa. Whoa. Whoa." Caroline was adjusting to the information. "You are telling me Elena's friend shows up on the exact day that we've been searching for a third roommate saying he needs a place to stay? Is this fate or what?" I kicked her under the table and was furiously shaking my head no and trying to hide the fact from Damon.

"So you guys have a place?" Damon asked.

"Today we found the perfect apartment. It was so pretty and huge!" Caroline gushed. "The only thing it is really expensive so we would need another roommate and even then it is going to be tough. So if you are willing..." She trailed off, completely ignoring my silent protests. I glanced at him to see indecision written over his face.

"I don't know. Are you guys sure you want to have a guy as your roommate?"

"It's fine. Elena used to tell me you guys practically lived at each others houses growing up."

"What do you think Elena?" He asked while turning towards me. I was stuck. What was I going to do? Tell him no?

"It would be fun. We could... reconnect." I forced out. This was my worst nightmare. Reconnecting meant talking about our past. It meant that we had to have that special conversation that I've been dreading.

"So will you do it?" Caroline asked eagerly.

"Spending the whole summer living with two beautiful laddies. You know I'm in." Damon said with his usually smirk. I glared at Caroline and all she did was mouth 'You're welcome' towards me. What the hell was she thinking?

This was just great.

AN: Review!


	4. Running from the past helps it catch you

"_**Let's go get the shit kicked out of us by love."  
><strong>__**-Love Actually**_

I eagerly watched the clock as the last few minutes of work went by. I had worked an extra long shift today and all I wanted to do was go home, pack up some of my stuff, then sleep for a good twelve hours. The only hope I had was that no one would walk through those doors in the next five minutes as the restaurant was already empty.

I sat down at the counter and watched the door with hopeful thoughts. I said a quick goodbye to one of the cooks who was leaving as I stacked up menu's. I had a few minutes left and I figured I'd just be able to leave anyways. I started walking towards the back room till I heard the ding of a bell.

"You have got to be kidding me." I mumbled as I slowly turned around and grabbed a menu as the person sat down in a booth by the door. I walked towards the table but froze when I got a look at who it was. This just wasn't my day.

"What are you stalking me now?"I joked as I handed the menu over to Damon.

"Yep."He said simply while looking over the menu. "Actually Caroline told me where you would be." I already knew Caroline and Damon had been talking together and working out all the things for rent and how we all were going to split everything. I purposely stayed out of those conversations. I had kept my distance from him and I think he may have been catching on.

"I figured. You really have impeccable timing, you know that? I literately was supposed to get off..." I looked at the lock hanging on the wall then back to Damon. "Now."

"Well I didn't plan on getting anything." He said while putting the menu down. "My main purpose was to annoy you." He smirked and then suddenly went serious. "And to talk."

"I hate having these types of talks." I groaned at the idea only to receive a slight chuckle from Damon as I flopped down opposite of him.

"Trust me, you are not the only one. But if we are going to be living together, I have to say something."

"No, Damon. We can... start over."

"There is no such thing as starting over."

"Yes there i-"

"Just let me finish." He cut me off with an annoyed expression. "I've had so much to say to you for three years. When you left, it tore me apart." It was like for the first time I was actually seeing Damon. This wasn't some sick dream. He was here and after all this time we were actually having this conversation.

"You know, I planned on telling you that day that I was leaving."I said thinking back to the day I haven't ever let my thoughts wander to. I talked to my brother and it finally set in that I would be leaving. There was a lot I planned on telling you that day. In the end I'm thankful I didn't get the chance to." I had finally come to the conclusion that I wasn't going to leave Damon behind with thoughts of 'what if's, that day. I always thought that before I left for California that Damon wouldn't so oblivious anymore.

"What were you going to tell me?"

"It's not important anymore." I whispered while looking down at my hands as I futzed with them.

"Listen." He grabbed my hands, stopping me from messing with them and I unconsciously let my eyes linger up to meet his. "Elena, I've felt ashamed for so long. I was in hell when you left. When I lost you...I can't let that happen again. I was so selfish and I promise you that I will never be like that again. I can't explain how much I missed my best friend" He said while his voice was breaking a little bit. I've known him for so long and not once have I ever heard such pure emotion behind his words.

"Well we are starting over. Whether or not you believe in it." There were so many things I wanted to say. To yell. But I knew if I were to say them we wouldn't get anywhere. I wanted to scream at him that I couldn't get hurt like that again. I wanted to get it into his head that I don't know I will ever be able to open up to him the way I used to.

"So..." He said awkwardly, noticing the tension. We both knew that the simple conversation was to get things out of the way, but I could tell that there was a lot more he had to say and I'm sure he could tell I had a lot to say as well.

"So." I repeated trying to think of simple conversation. "I have to go back to the dorm and pack tonight. I'm dreading it." Caroline and I only had a few days left till we would move out of our dorm and into the apartment as summer break was just around the corner. I hadn't even started to get my stuff ready and Caroline is almost all packed up. "I haven't even started yet. I still have to find some boxes or cases." I put my head in my hands, suddenly stressed. How was I going to find the time to do all this? "You know what would be great? If I had someone to help me." I suddenly got an idea as I smirked at him trying to give him a hint. The smirk fell from my face as I saw him staring at me with the same expression from the baseball game and dinner. "What do you keep looking at me like that?" It felt like he was trying to memorize every inch of me.

"What?" He said suddenly snapping out of it.

"Ever since we' ran into each other you've been giving me this blank stare. Is something wrong? Do I have wrinkles now or something?" I asked while joking but he didn't laugh.

"No, it's just... It's nothing."

"If you don't tell me, I will climb over this table and force it out of you."

"Fine. Its just that I look at you and I feel like nothing has changed. But then there are these moments that I actually see you and... you don't seem the same to me."

"I guess three years change people."

"Maybe." He mumbled while looking away.

"I get what you are saying. One moment I see you as the boy who would play in the mud with me and then the next I see you as the guy who used to beat up guys who would break my heart in high school."

"No." He said with a chuckle after a long pause. "You don't get it." He gave me a look and I knew the teenager inside of me would be hoping there was something more behind it. Something that has always been inside me was finally kicking in for him. But I guess growing up, reality sinks in and you realize you can't keep torturing yourself with those thoughts. Or at least the maybes in my head stopped when he made his feeling completely clear.

"Well, back to me packing. Like I said, someone there to help me throw all my stuff into a box would make the time go so much faster."

"I'm sure that would help a lot. Why don't you ask Matt."He said while clearly showing his distaste for him.

"Where did that come from?"I laughed at the expression on his face. Clearly this Matt situation had been bothering him.

"Why do you like him?"I couldn't really pin why he would be so upset about it. It wasn't like in high school he was like that. I swear every week I would pretend to be head over heels for which ever guy had caught my attention. When in reality there was only one guy who actually had a hold my heart. I thought I was being so sneaky when gushing about how blue their eyes were and how toned there muscles would be when reality the blue eyed muscular guy was the one listening to my ranting.

"Why do you not like him?"

"He's plain."He scowled. "Elena Gilbert does not deserve plain."

"What do I deserve than?" I asked, wondering where the hell he was going to take this.

"This Matt guy just doesn't seem like he could keep up with you. The type of guy you deserve isn't the one who works at a hole in the wall. I mean what do you even see in him? If you are so in love with him there had got to be something."

"I'm not in love with him."I said while stopping his speech. "I had... strong feelings a long time ago. He didn't return them and now I no longer have them."I could see him physically calm down but he was still peering at me with a suspicious expression. "I was explaining to Caroline that even though I don't have the feelings I used to, I don't see my self opening my heart out to a guy and feeling the way I used to. It's not going to happen. I'm pretty sure Caroline is dead set on proving me wrong. I'm just waiting for her to set me up on a blind date."

"That is ridiculous."I rolled my eyes, thinking he was talking about having those feelings again. "Caroline can't just set you up with anybody." I nodded while trying to hide my amusement. "And trust me you just have to find the right guy and maybe things will be different."

"You don't get it. Matt...he's just different from the rest. He laughs at my jokes when no on else gets them. I can be myself around him when I feel like I could never be that with a different guy because they'd go running for the hills if they knew who I actually was. And to me even his imperfections make him the most wonderful person I know."For a moment I forgot who I was talking about and stopped when I saw how pale he suddenly was.

"I still don't like him."He said as he shook his head. "And I still disagree with Caroline. You shouldn't be dating anyone."

"Speaking of relationships. What happened with Katherine?"

"Katherine." He muttered with distaste. "Well after you left I didn't have it in me to be with anyone and we I guess you could say broke or just stopped what we were doing. Then maybe a year later we met up again and we dated for two years. We just broke up around a month ago."I didn't have it in me to say I was sorry about the break up. Lord knows how much I hated Katherine.

"Why'd you break up?"Maybe that was a little too blunt.

"Let's just say she didn't agree with where I was taking my life."

"Oh." I said simply. That statement there alone just proved that there was something Damon wasn't telling me. "Damon. Why aren't you in Mystic Falls right now?"

"I told you I was on vacation." His tone clearly showed he didn't want to talk about it.

"How long have you been here?"

"A few weeks."Weeks? Was he ever going to find me? He was in California for that long?

"Were you ever going to call me?" I didn't mean to sound so upset but it hurt. "In these years, did you even miss me at all?"

"What are talking about? Of course I missed you. That's an understatement, it felt like I lost my other half."

"How could you have not even have tried to see me then?"

"Elena, you left. I didn't think you'd want to. Hell I called you a thousand times and you hung up on me every time. Your hang up hurt and I figured..."

"Whatever."I was done with this conversation. It showed how much I cared way too much. I crossed my arms and leaned back in the booth while looking away from him.

I watched him roll his eyes as he dug in his pocket and pulled out his phone. Really? He was going to make a phone call at this exact moment in time? I glared at him as he put the phone to his ear and waited. I felt my phone in my back pocket start to vibrate and I unconsciously went to grab it when I saw the number that hasn't appeared on my phone in so long. The smiled spread across my face before I knew it once I glanced up to Damon to see him acting as if he wasn't the one calling me.

"Hello." I answered the phone.

"Hey Lena. It's Damon. You remember me, right. Your extremely attractive best friend from the small town in Virginia. Well I just wanted to tell you that I was in town and wanted to see you."

"Oh really? Well I guess that I could fit you in my schedule somewhere."

"I heard you were moving. Why don't I come over and help you pack." I giggled into the phone and nodded.

"That would be great."

"Well I gotta go. I'm sort of with this beautiful girl right now."I smiled at him as he hung up the phone. There was no doubt in my mind that we may be falling back into a familiar pattern.

_**AN: Hey guys, so I have something to ask. I really really really want to do Damon's Pov. The only thing is I hate randomly bringing that in if I didn't do it from the beginning. But I feel like it is necessary for this story. So would it be completely horrible if I did that? **_

_**Also I want to mention that this wasn't the last of that special conversation they have to have. What they really want to say will happen soon. This was like the 'oh we are cool now' conversation that is really the 'we are just going to push it down' conversation that happens before huge blow out. Do you understand what I'm saying? **_

_**Review:)**_


	5. You can only lie to yourself for so long

_**I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox**_

_**-Woody Allen**_

I flopped down on my new bedroom floor as I took a deep breath. Caroline, Damon and I have been moving things in all day and I haven't even began to unpack anything. At this moment I didn't even have a bed to sleep in as the frame was still in the box and I didn't have enough space to just put the mattress down for the night. To say the least, I had a long night ahead of me.

"Elena!"I heard Caroline yell and I groaned at having to get up.

"What?" I asked a little grumpily as I walked into the living room.

"Do you think the couch looks good by the window?" She asked as she stared at the couch and all I saw was an exhausted Damon that looked the way I felt.

"Caroline give him a break. Damon's been moving furniture around for the past hour. I like it by the window and I liked it against the other wall as well. Make up your mind."

"You are right..." Finally she gets it. "It did look good against that wall."

"Caroline, no."

"Sorry. I'm tired and I just want everything to be perfect."

"We have tomorrow and the next day and the next to fix everything up. Lets just settle down and eat something."

"Okay. I'm starving."

"Me too. I haven't at since-"

"What if we did some sort of feng shui and move the couch over there. We need some good energy flowing through here" She cut me off as she immediately went back to forming ideas.

"Stop!" I said while chucking one of the couch pillows from the bag next to me at her.

"Sorry. I can't help it some times."

"I know Caroline. I've lived with you long enough to know that. Now you should probably go check if Damon is still breathing." I gestured towards Damon who was laying face down on the couch and didn't appear to be moving. I walked over towards the kitchen and went to the fridge only to feel like a big idiot. It really must have been a long day. "Obviously there is no food here yet." I mumbled to myself.

"I think he is dead."

"Please tell me you didn't kill him." I walked back over towards her and leaned over him as well. Caroline was poking him and he still wasn't stirring.

"I know what we need." She grabbed the water bottle that was sitting on the table next to us and unscrewed the cap and was about to pour it on him when he suddenly snapped up from the couch.

"Okay, okay." He said suddenly coming to. "I guess playing dead doesn't always work."

"Been there done that. She doesn't give up." I said as I lifted up his legs so I could sit down too. "We are starving."

"Then go get food." He said while flipping over to see us.

"Well I just thought since you are the most amazing guy in this room and we love you sooo much, you would go get the food." I gave him a bright smile and he frowned at me.

"No can do. I have a date tonight." I looked away from him instantly to hide and uncomfortable familiar feeling in my stomach. Stop being such and idiot Elena! I shook off the feelings and told myself it was just a reflex. I looked back towards them to see Caroline giving me a knowing look.

"Oh, come on Damon." She said. "We all know that you'll have another date tomorrow, plus this is our first night together. And no offense but you look like hell. If you are just looking to get some you are probably going to collapse before the act even happens."

"I guess you are right." He sighed and stood up.

"There is a pizza place around the corner." I threw some money at him as I stretched out on couch. "Make it snappy. Just kidding." I said after I got a cold glare from him.

"The things I do for you ladies." He mumbled as he went towards the door.

"Love you!" Caroline and I said together.

* * *

><p>We waited for him to come back and we assumed he would only be ten minutes but when it hit the two hour mark we started to get worried.<p>

"You think he is okay?" I asked as I stared at my phone. I had called him but he didn't answer and I was now on the verge of freaking out.

"Maybe he got lost."

"Yea, sure." I agreed as I continued to stare at my phone. A few minutes later my phone started to ring and I answered it without a second thought. "Damon? Are you okay? Where are you?"

"Whoa, calm down. I got a little caught up. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Thanks for everything Damon." I heard a distant female voice in the background and my worry for him instantly disappeared. Of course... he went on the stupid date.

"Yea, whatever." I quickly hung up. "He's fine." I said to Caroline. Typical Damon move. I cant believe after all that has happened I expected anything else.

Damon was home only minutes after our phone call and I didn't know how I was going to be able to look at him. Sure to anyone else it probably wouldn't have been the biggest deal but I was trying my best to be able to forgive him and then he pulls this stunt.

"Hey, I'm really sorry I'm so late. I was-"

"Only thinking about myself." I finished for him while I gave him a dirty look.

"Hey, as long as you have food, you are forgiven." Caroline said while jumping up and grabbing the pizza box from him.

"I lost my appetite." I said while standing up and heading towards my room. I just wanted to put my bed together and sleep. I sat down on my floor and started to take parts of the bed frame out. It was all wood and screws and just my luck that the headboard would be insanely heavy. I let it drop and instantly regretted it when it made a loud thump. It was only seconds later that Damon appeared, leaning in the door way while eating a slice of pizza.

"Too much pride to ask for help?"

"I just want to get it done." I focused on sorting out the screws instead of looking at him.

"What's got you in such a pissy mood?"

"It's been a long day and I'm tired."

"We are all tired. Now what's really got you so upset?"

"Nothing." I said now getting annoyed. Couldn't he just take a hint. "Can't you just go away. Don't you get that right now you aren't really someone I want to see?"

"There you go, running away from everything again."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I snapped while dropping the instructions for the bed to look at him.

"I mean whenever something is wrong you run away from the situation. It's what you do. You brush things under the rug whenever you can."

"I brush things under the rug? Are you kidding me? You spent three years calling me to just apologize and forget what happened. You want to know why I didn't answer all those times you called? I was done pretending that everything was okay. I thought... I thought that now we could get past this and I was over it, but I'm tired again. Damon, we've only been around each other for a little bit and I'm exhausted with these pretenses that I'm not upset."

"Where is this coming from? I thought we were doing good! I thought we were on track to getting where we used to be."

"Well maybe you shouldn't have gone out on that date tonight."

"Date? I canceled that." He said looking confused. Was he going to straight up lie now?

"Then where were you all night?" It wasn't like I was his keeper, but there was just something about this situation that upset more than I ever thought it would.

"Alaric and Isobel's car broke down. They needed a ride. And if I did go on that date, why would it matter anyway?"

"It just would." I didn't have a much better argument. I didn't know how to explain that him choosing to go on a date over spending the night with Caroline and I was some-what a sore spot. I did feel a little stupid for assuming but right now there was too much I wanted to say. I needed to say.

"I get that you are still mad about what happened but I can't... I don't know how many times I can explain how sorry I am for it!"

"You deliberately hurt me. That is not something you get to apologize for. Apologizing is for when you make a mistake and you knew from the moment you told me you were sick that it you were betraying me." Three years of pent up aggression was finally seeping out. "You know what, Damon? You hurt me, that's what you do." I said while mocking his words.

"I made one mistake! One huge mistake and I've been paying for it every single day. Cut me some slack! Don't you get it Elena, you aren't the only one who felt betrayed during that time! You left me. You didn't even plan on telling me till a week before you left! I didn't even get time to apologize before you were suddenly out of my life. Don't you think that maybe in those years that I needed you?"

"Well, did you think that maybe I just didn't care anymore?" I was saying things I didn't mean but at this moment I didn't have control of my tongue. "Was there even one moment during that time that you thought that I may have been done with you? For good."

"Then what are we doing here, Elena? I'm trying so hard to redeem myself but if you already wrote me off how is that possible?"

"I don't know. Maybe moving in together was a mistake." I said while crossing my arms and looking everywhere but him who during our argument moved closer and was only a few feet away.

"There you go again! We have one argument and you are already trying to take an easy way out. Elena your life will get hard, you can't be always trying to avoid it."

"Get hard?" I asked incredulously. "My entire life has been hard! It doesn't just get hard it gets worse, Damon. And right now you are making things worse!"

"Stop blaming me for every single moment of pain you have had! I did something horrible, I get that! We've been through so much together and I fuck up once and you throw me away like I was never there for you. Eighteen years Elena! We were inseparable for eighteen years and the moment you have an out you took it. For three years I've been contemplating why the hell you just gave up. I thought our friendship could survive anything, even my mistakes."

"I just couldn't be around you anymore." I couldn't keep holding things against him. I knew I has to stop holding a grudge of what happened for my own sanity. And I had to stop hating him for not being able to love me back.

"I know I was never able to say and do the right thing, but I thought you got that. "

"I guess it was the first time I ever felt betrayed by you. I didn't react well to it. Because even though you were... are full of faults, you were the only thing that wasn't supposed to hurt me. You burst my bubble that day and things became clear. I relied too much on you. I needed to be me. I needed to find a place where I could be Elena, without you. I couldn't have stand the emotional baggage that came with you anymore."

"You are right." He said after a long moment of silence. "Moving in together was a huge mistake." He slowly backed out of my room and my mouth hung open, waiting for words that didn't have the courage to come out. I wanted to tell him that I didn't mean the things I said, they slipped out of anger. But for some reason my body wouldn't react as he left me standing in my room alone.

This was all just too much for one night.

* * *

><p>For the rest of the night I sat on the floor trying to put the bed together but giving up when I couldn't concentrate enough to read the instructions. I tiptoed out of my room, trying not to run into Damon. I saw his door was closed and there didn't seem to be a light on inside. It would appear that he was sleeping but I knew better. No matter how exhausted we were, we weren't sleeping tonight.<p>

I went into the kitchen to find the half eaten pizza still out. I sat up on the kitchen counter while picking at a piece of pizza and staring at his door. His taunting, stupid, white door.

"Well you two sure are entertaining." Caroline voice came out of nowhere, scaring the shit out of me.

"Jeez." I said while concentrating on calming down my heart. "Sorry, where we loud?"

"Lets' just hope you didn't wake the whole building up."

"Great, we are going to be those kind of neighbors that everyone hates."

"Don't worry about it. Who cares what they think. What I'm concerned about is what you are thinking right now."

"So much. I can't even begin to explain how much I feel like a bitch right now. I started the fight and we were actually getting along pretty well and then my big giant mouth had to open."

"Don't feel bad Elena. It was only a matter of time. You needed to say those things. Your little emotions couldn't take it anymore"

"I regret it. I said a lot of things I didn't fully mean."

"Elena the reason why I thought Damon moving in would be a good idea was for you to be able to move on with your life. You needed to face the facts. You are finally doing that and I'm proud. But now that you guys have fought, you need to have a rational conversation."

"I know." I sighed while jumping off the counter. "I should go apologize. " I turned towards his door but then she stopped me.

"Wait. Take your shirt off?"

"What?" I asked bewildered.

"Just do it." When I didn't go to do anything she started to take my shirt and rip it above my head, getting my arms and hair tangled. "What the hell?" I semi-yelled as she left me only wearing a tank top.

"He will be much more willing to forgive you now." Caroline said while walking off to her room, stealing my shirt. Once she was gone I looked back to the horrid door and didn't make my decision till after my feet and already taken me there. I opened the door slowly while entering. His bed was the only thing in the room at the moment besides all the boxes. I did my best to not fall as I made my way over to him. I crawled onto the bed next to him and laid there in silence. He didn't move or speak but I knew he was awake.

"My mother used to tell me that you should never go to bed angry. You should stay up and fight." I whispered after a few minutes of silence. I laid on my side while facing him to see him staring at the ceiling. "How did we end up are so... distant."

"I thought you wanted it that way." He whispered back.

"No." I never wanted to be apart. But circumstances called for it. "I can't explain how many hours I've sat staring at my phone, wanting to call you so bad or how many times I've had a bad day and wished I could just vent to you like the old day. And don't even get me started on how many times I was the only one to think something was hilarious and wished you were there because you would understand."

"You should have called. I wanted nothing more in the world than to hear your voice."

"I know."I said while scooting closer to him. "I don't think moving in together was a mistake. I want you in my life again." I couldn't help myself but to wrap my arms around him from the thought that maybe he would leave after what I all said. "I missed you so much." I said while squeezing him. "I said a few things that I regret. I don't want you to go. I can't let you go again. Because even though I'm not over what happened, you are back now. And there is no way I'm letting anymore time slip away again."

"Do you think we can be the way we used to?"

"I think whether we like it or not, we are always going to find it impossible not to."He started to stroke my hair as I leaned on his chest. It was way too comfortable for my liking. Especially after we were just fighting. "I'm sorry for tonight."

"Apology accepted." He let a breath and gave a small smirk.

"Good. I was worried I wasn't going to have a place to sleep."

"My bed is always open to you. Just do your best not to throw yourself at me. I don't do well with temptation." I giggled into his chest and smiled at the fact that things were somewhat going back to normal.

"I'll try. But hey, nobody said that I did good with temptation either."

"Oh, I so knew you wanted me." I laughed and hid my face from him, hiding anything that he could decipher something from.

"You are right. I want you sooo bad. You should just take me now." I dramatically said which earned a laugh from him.

"What did I saw about temptation."

"Oh, I so knew you wanted me." I repeated his words with the same cocky manner he did. His hands stopped stroking my hair and I looked up to him only to realize how close our faces actually were. I felt a pull at my heart that was immediately followed by pure horror. I jumped away from him and clamped my hand over my mouth to hide how disgusted I was with myself. I promised I wouldn't fall back into this. I scrambled from the bed and tried to act as causal as possible.

"What's wrong?" He asked confused.

"I-uh. I'll sleep on the couch." I said while quickly getting out of his room that became suddenly suffocating. No, I couldn't do this. After all I've been through I couldn't allow myself to feel this again.

But did it ever go away? It was becoming more apparent to me that even though I spent so long resenting Damon and covering up my feeling, there wasn't a day in those three years that I stopped loving him.

_**AN: Thanks for reading. Sorry for the long wait. I think I'll do Damon's pov next chapter. But I do want to say that I'm not going to dive into Damon's soul just yet. I'm going to tease you.**_

_**Review:)**_


	6. The person falling here is me

**_"Sometimes I wish that I had never met you, so I could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there."_**

**_- Good Will Hunting_**

Damon's POV

I laid in bed that night while drifting in and out of consciousness. It was inevitable that tomorrow I was going to be a walking zombie. Tonight was a strange night, and even though Elena and I had made up, there was still tension flowing through the air. Maybe it was just me or the fact that she just literately ran out of here like the devil was on her tails but we had some unfinished business. I still couldn't quite pin what that was all was about.

When I heard footsteps from what sounded like the living room I sat up. Could Elena not sleep either? Without thinking, I got out of bed and went to go see what was happening. I found her going through boxes on the kitchen floor, looking for something.

"What are you looking for?" She jumped a little and gave me a look of shock as her hand went flying to her heart.

"Um, do you know where the cups are? I'm dying of thirst."

"The box on your left," She nodded and turned around while bending over to look through the box. If it was any other guy she would have been in big trouble, the way her tank top slowly drifted up in the back and the way her shorts were just a little too short to be bending over like that.

"You know, you shouldn't do that."

"What?" She asked me with the most innocent expression.

"Bend down like that. You could get a guy all hot and bothered," Her head flew back as giggles erupted from her.

"Are you saying I get you hot and bothered?" She aimed a familiar smile at me as she tried not to laugh again.

"Maybe just bothered." I shot back with my own smirk.

"Liar." She said while slowly walking up to me. "Just admit it already. You think I'm sexy."

"Fine." I said while playing along, just to get a reaction out of her. "I think you're sexy as hell." Her mouth opened and closed as she stared at me with wide eyes, not expecting that. "And I think your body is just dying to be touched." I slowly traced my finger up and down the exposed skin on her arms and grinned when goosebumps appeared.

"And are you just _dying _to be the one to touch me?" Her innocent act was being thrown out the window, the way she looked me up and down. Her eyes stayed focus as she licked her lips, probably from the fact that I whipped my shirt off during my tossing and turning all night.

"More than you can imagine," I slowly backed her up against the counter as she looked up at me with a mischievous look plastered on her face.

"Then what are you going to do about it?"

"Why don't I show you," I grabbed her chin while guiding her mouth to mine, holding nothing back. She kissed me with just as much passion as she was the one to deepen the kiss. I moaned into her mouth when her hands started to wander, testing my self-control.

"You keep doing that then I don't know how much longer I can try to be a lady," My answer in return was just pressing myself against her so every single part of her body was touching me.

"You don't know how long I've wanted this... how long I've wanted you." I mumbled against her skin as I planted small kisses from the top of her neck all the way down to her shoulder.

"I want you too, I've always wanted you."

'I know." Her hands slowly slid down my chest till she reached my-

"DAMON! Damon, wake up!"

I awoke with a gasp as Caroline was standing next to my bed. I blinked a few times, trying to put together what was real and what wasn't.

"Finally!" She said while sighing. "I need your muscles, it's time to get up!"

"Yea, yea ,yea." I said while ushering her out of my room. When she was finally out I shut the door and took a deep breath. "Where the fuck did that come from?" I whispered to myself as I tried to get it out of my head.

I searched through a box, looking for a towel. If there was one thing I needed this morning, it was going to be a shower. A very very cold shower. I knocked on the door but there was no answer. I stood outside the bathroom door for what felt like hours before I just gave up and walked in.

"Damon!" Elena's head popped out from the shower curtain with a clear scowl.

"If you are going to hog the bathroom, the least you can do is let me somewhat get ready."

"Whatever." She said while fixing the curtain. All we had was a clear curtain on the shower and lucky for me the steam was enough to hide anything that may have been seen.

"So, I have to work but I was thinking that when I get off, you and me could go grocery shopping."

"Sure." I turned towards the shower to see the outline of her leg propped up on the side of end of the tub. I squeezed my eyes shut and did my best to push out any sexual thought that was coming to mind of my best friend. This had to stop, it was starting to creep me out.

"I'll be out soon."

"No, it's fine. I'll just shave quick."

"No." She said abruptly. "I like you better with a scruff."

"Do you really like it better, or did you just steal my razor again?"

"Maybe both." She said while giggling.

"If it was anybody else..." I barely mumbled out while brushing my teeth. The water turned off and I heard the shower curtain being pulled back while I focused on the my reflection in the mirror. I couldn't help but let my eyes wander as I almost choked on the toothpaste when she stood next to me in the mirror to run her fingers through her hair.

"So what are your plans for the day?" She asked as if it was nothing to be dripping wet while only wearing a towel, standing only a foot away. Every part of me was screaming to touch her. I shook off the thought, believing it had to do with the after effects of that almost sex dream I just had.

"Helping Caroline, then I have to go grab some boxes of stuff at Alaric's."

"Sounds so eventful." She said sarcastically as she grabbed her own toothbrush.

"Hey, Elena. Can I borrow-" The door creaked open and Caroline's words got stuck in her throat. She furrowed a brow at us as she looked in between us with a look of suspicion. .

"You guys know that this is kind of odd." Elena and I both shrugged and went back to brushing our teeth.

"Okay, the bathroom is all yours." Elena said while finishing and rushing out of room with Caroline following.

"Am I really the only one to think that that was weird?" I heard Caroline say as they left. I couldn't help but let a laugh escape as I went back to getting ready for the day.

* * *

><p>"Where has your mind been all day?" Caroline shook me out of my thoughts as I helped unpack a new box of dishes.<p>

"Huh?"

"You've been spacey."

"I don't mean to be."

"Listen, I want to talk to you about something."

"What?" I asked not exactly liking the tone her voice held.

"Well, I've been trying to get Elena to date again for so long. And I think if you get on board with me, she could really be happy."

"Where is this coming from?"

"She is finally facing facts. You of all people know how bad Elena wants to have a family again someday. She's not living the life she deserves. It would be nice if you could help me give that back to her," I don't know why but the idea of Elena dating never sounded appealing to me. I just had this feeling that no guy was every going to treat her the way she deserved.

"Stupid Matt," I muttered under her breath. I hated that guy. I wouldn't be put in this position if it wasn't for him. "Maybe."

"Come on, I mean what is the big deal, unless... I mean are you into her?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"I was just asking. I mean the way you talk sounds like you are into her. You could tell me, you know."

"Fine, if it will make you happy and stop with the constant questions, I will help you set her up. She'll never agree to it though."

"That's what you think..."

* * *

><p>It wasn't long till the apartment was almost all together. There were only a few things here and there that needed to be taken care of but luckily I was let off the hook.<p>

"You had a what?" Alaric nearly yelled while slamming his beer down. "I knew it! There was no way you two weren't hooking up!" He said looking smug while I rolled my eyes. I was already regretting confessing to Alaric what happened this morning.

"How many times do I have to tell you that it is possible for a guy and girl to be friends?"

"Until you realize that it is not. There is no possible way that you two will stay 'just friends'." He stated while shaking his head.

"What does that mean?" I asked while taking a sip from my beer.

"It means that she is hot and you like hot women, therefore friendship is not an option."

"You are wrong. You just don't know how we work."

"Do you want to sleep with her?"

"What does that have anything to do with it?" I said purposely avoiding the conversation. If there was anything I was sure of, was the fact that my dream self very much wanted to.

"Well do you want to sleep with me?"

"You are a guy, I'm pretty sure you know the answer."

"That is the point. You can't be friends with someone you want to see naked. It doesn't work that way."

"It worked for us, for years."

"Yea but how bad did you want to do the horizontal dance with her back then?" I frowned as I thought it over. It was all about Katherine back then.

"I'm no longer discussing this with you." I said while finishing my beer and getting up.

"You just know I'm right." I grabbed my keys off the table while Alaric frowned at me.

"I never said that."

"Where are you going?"

"Elena and I are going grocery shopping."

"Oh my God! Are you freaking blind? Grocery shopping? That is such a couple thing to do!"

"Will you just shut up? And besides, I've already sort of told Caroline I'd help her set Elena up." He just stared blankly at me till his expression turned into an annoying 'I know everything' look.

"Good luck with that," He said while laughing. I was going to need it.

_**AN: Sorry this chapter was shorter than the others. My goal was to make my chapters longer for this story but to be honest I had a horrible time writing this. **_

_**I'm officially going to do different Pov's now. I'm pretty sure it will just be Elena and Damon. I'd love to do Caroline's but it probably wont happen. But anyway, I hoped you liked it. **_

_**Review:)**_


	7. I should be happy inside

_**"In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."  
><strong>-**Abraham Lincoln**_

Elena POV

"Have you completely lost it?" I yelled as I walked towards the door of our apartment with bags of groceries in my hands. "There is no way in hell that I am going on a date with any of your friends," I told Damon as he unlocked the door.

"Why not?"

"Why not? Are you kidding me? The better question is why should I. Oh and wasn't it just a few days ago that you were on my side?"

"Listen, Caroline told me that you haven't been on a date since you've moved here and I agree with the fact that it's kind of sad."

"I don't need your help. It's not like I can't get a date Damon, I just don't want one," I was slightly offended that everyone talked as if I was unwanted. Hell, if I wanted to I could have any guy I pleased. I looked back up at Damon only to have that confident thought vanish. Who was I kidding? Damon was making me into a hypocrite.

"You just think you don't want to date."

"I'm never going to fall in love again, Damon. So what is the point of even going to all the works and hoping that I will?"

"What the hell made you so cynical? The Elena I used to know was the biggest optimist I've ever seen. I mean, it was annoying how positive you were."

"The Elena you used to know didn't get her heart all smashed on," I mumbled to myself while I put the bags down on the counter.

"Oh stop sulking over this Matt guy. He doesn't deserve you, a matter of fact; he deserves to be punched in the face, which I am happy to provide my services for."

"No, the one who needs to be punched in the face is you, who keep bringing up all my issues."

"Then stop having so many issues and agree to go on this date."

"I don't understand you one bit, Mr. Salvatore."

Damon went to go grab the rest of the groceries while I started to unpack them and let my thoughts get the best of me. Maybe Caroline and Damon were right, maybe it was time to change some things. School was over now and I had no more excuses except for work to not go out and have fun. I guess it was time to start living a little. I needed to get out of my slump anyways.

"So," I started when Damon walked in. "Who would you set me up with?" The curiosity was evident through my voice as Damon gave me a knowing look.

"I know this guy who Alaric works with. We've hung out a few times and he seems like your type."

"Oh and what is my type?"

"You know, stuck up typical jock. The ones you dated all throughout High School."

"Ew, that is not my type at all," I've always been quite a sucker for the bad boys. But I stayed away from those guys because the only bad boy I really wanted was never going to be into girls like me.

"Well it was your type. I mean come on; who else are cheerleaders supposed to date?"

"But you used to date cheerleaders all the time and you weren't even close to being the jock type. You wouldn't even play football, the sport you love because you didn't want to be grouped with them."

"Correction, I did not date cheerleaders, they cheated on their boyfriends with me. There is a complete difference. I _dated _girls who were just like me."

"Oh, yea I forgot. You never wanted to date a cheerleader; you were into heartless sluts who don't give a damn about anyone but themselves. No wonder why you and I never dated."

"Are you calling me a heartless slut? I was never into callous girls. And we never dated because I would have gone straight to jail back then."

"Oh so that's the only reason?" I joked as I organized soup cans.

"Well you said it yourself, I'm not into cheerleaders. "

"I'm not a cheerleader anymore." I watched him turn towards me with the faintest suggestion of a knowing smile. "And anyways, doesn't Katherine Pierce ring a bell? I'm pretty sure she was a tad… soulless"

"Does Ben McKittrick ring a bell?" He asked sarcastically back. I huffed and went to put some things in the fridge before walking back over to him.

"We went on one date. Are you ever going to let it go?" Ben and Damon were rivals all through high school and ever since he found out about the date I went on just to make him jealous, he would not let me live it down. Mostly because a year later we found out that just because Ben went on dates with girls, didn't mean he was necessarily attracted to them.

"No, because you know who Ben reminds me of? Matt the asshole. Both washed up jocks serving beer for a living. Now do you understand why I think you have a type?"

"Who said Matt was into sports?" He cocked an eyebrow at me as if he was daring me to tell him he was wrong. "Okay, so you may be right about a few things."

"Of course I am."

"But back to the main point. I don't want to go on a date with your friend."

"And here I thought I was making progress."

"You were," I said while being honest. "And then you tried to convince me you know which kind of guys I liked and completely failed. I'm petrified of you would set me up with."

"Don't forget about Caroline. Maybe I just need a women's perspective."

"No! I am even more scared of whom… or what Caroline would set me up with."

"Get over yourself and give this a try. "

"So basically you are telling me that my life is so pathetic because I don't have a guy and that I should slum it just for a little attention."

"That is not what I am saying at all."

"No, that is pretty much what you are saying."

"Stop making excuses. Trust me, I will find a guy who gets that you kick ass. It's not like you are getting married to them. It is one date."

"Ugh. No. I'm not agreeing to this. I am very self-sufficient. I've never needed anyone else and that is not about to change because you and Caroline are hell bent on finding me a guy."

"Just think about it," He said while finishing putting everything away.

"You and Caroline are horrible. It won't happen."

My phone started to ring from my purse that I left next the door. I hurriedly ran towards it while searching for it and then answering just before it went to voicemail.

"Hello," I answered a little breathless.

"Hey Elena, it's Stefan."

"Stefan! Hi! How are you?" I haven't talked to Stefan in a few weeks and I didn't realize how much I missed him. "I miss you. Why haven't you called in so long?" I asked and out of the corner of my eye I saw Damon watching me carefully.

"Sorry things have been really hectic lately. Things with my dad and my brother are just taking up my time." At the mention of Damon, my eyes flickered to his as he was obviously eavesdropping.

"What's going on with Giuseppe and Damon?" I watched as Damon eyes went wide and a look of desperation crossed his features. He started to shake his head as if not to bring it up.

"I'm sorry, I know Damon is the last person you want to hear about but by any chance have you heard from him?" Stefan asked and my suspicion grew.

"Have I heard from Damon?" I repeated somewhat bewildered. Damon started frantically shaking his head.

"Don't you tell him anything!" Damon whispered as I stared back at him in shock.

"No Stefan. Why would I hear from him of all people?"

"Sorry to bring it up. He's just been MIA the past few weeks. I just thought I'd ask."

"No, it's fine. But listen Stefan, we have a lot to talk about but I'm sort of in the middle of something. Can I call you back in a little bit?"

"Sure, that's fine." I hung up after that while not taking my eyes off Damon.

"Explain." I said simply.

"Explain what?" He put on his familiar innocent act as he casually walked to his room.

"Don't pull that with me. Have you forgotten who you are talking to?"

"I don't know what you are talking about Elena. I just don't want Stefan ruining my vacation."

"Damon this isn't a vacation. You are living out here. Have you not noticed that? What are you running away from?"

"Nothing. I don't know if you remember or not but between us I'm not the one with the track record of running away."

"Stop trying to cause a fight between us to get out of telling me the truth. We are supposed to be able to talk to each other, tell each other our secrets. Whatever is going on between you, Stefan and Giuseppe, you can tell me."

"You were able to make it three years without knowing any of drama, I'm pretty sure you can live this one thing through." He said while blowing it off.

I just so desperately wanted to help. Did he not see that? I knew that something was going on and I knew he was upset about it.

"You can stick your nose in by business but the second I try to just be there you have a fit. That's a little messed up don't you think?"

"That's because your life is pathetic right now." I flinched at his words by the way he so casually said it. I knew I was pressing buttons of an obvious sore spot but I didn't expect him to pull out the big guns on me. "Mine is pretty great at the moment and the last thing I need is you trying to give me advice."

"My life is not pathetic." I mumbled out while looking away. I didn't want to show that those words actually hurt me. "Will you just stop being mean."

"I'm not being mean, I'm being real."

"No, you big idiot you are being a jerk. I thought you weren't like this anymore." I thought the old Damon was finally back, the one before Katherine.

"What? Do you have a problem with me pestering about your life?"

"Not everything is so black and white, Damon."

"You are right. So I will leave your life alone now and stop bothering you about this dating thing, if you do the same," He grabbed his leather jacket off the end of his bed and slid it on.

"Where are you going?"

"Out. I need a distraction from you, from life, from everything." He walked past me, out of his room and went straight for the door.

"Damon, wait." I said, causing him to stop by the door and glance back at me. "I know something is bothering you and I just thought maybe we could be back in that place again, were we could be open. I'm sorry for pushing you. Maybe you can take that into consideration the next time you open your mouth."

I turned away from him and quickly ushered into Caroline room to find her sitting at the end of her bed, painting her nails with wide eyes.

"Jeez, you guys are like a soap opera on crack. One moment you are laughing and then the next arguing." She said as I flopped down onto her bed.

"We weren't arguing. We were having a discussion. He's not telling me something and it's annoying."

"Well you can't really blame him Elena. From what I can tell, Damon is not the guy who opens up to people."

"I know that. But it was different between us. I mean, I was the only person to ever see him cry and I was the only one that he would actually talk to."

"You've seen him cry?"

"Don't tell him I told you that! It was back when his mom died," We were so close back then and I always thought we would be like that forever. I wanted that again. "I want Damon and I to be close again."

"So do it."

"What do you mean?"

"Go the extra mile and try to win his friendship heart back. You guys have history so it won't be too hard. Just put the past in the past and it will just be natural."

"You think?"

"Yea, you guys are already getting there."

"Can I stay the night with you?" I asked while cuddling into the pillow on her bed. "Ten bucks he is going to come home wasted with a girl tonight. Our beds are up against the same wall and honestly having to listen to that doesn't seem too fun. "

"What makes you think he will bring home a girl?"

"I just know him. Sex and alcohol are his ice cream and romantic comedies."

"Then I say he is the one with the pathetic life." I gave her a small smile and shook my head.

"He's right though Caroline. All I have is you. I don't want it to be like that anymore."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying maybe you guys are right. It's time to start putting myself out there."

"OMG!" She squealed while jumping up from the bed. "Are you serious?"

"I can't believe I am saying this but Caroline I give you and Damon permission to set me up."

"I am so happy right now!" She jumped up and down and went running across the room to grab her phone. "I can't believe Damon was actually down for this. When I first brought it up he was all hesitant to agree. I think he may be developing a c- you know what never mind." I eyed her and decided not to insist on her finishing.

"Just don't make me regret this."

"Don't worry Elena. Whether it takes one guy or a hundred I will find you the one who is perfect for you."

"I really hope so because I'm really tired of living this way. It's time to find a guy to help me get over Damon."

**AN: Hey guys, I just wanted to say thanks for all the support on this story. I know updates have been far apart but honestly I have no idea how I even made time to write this. But thanks for reading:)**

**Review!**


	8. I'm a mess between my heart and head

**_"True Love burns the brightest, But the brightest flames leave the deepest scars."_**

**_Elena POV_**

"So why did you sleep with Caroline last night? Did I miss any late night pillow fights?" I sighed and went about folding my laundry as Damon sat on my bed, eating a bowl of cereal. I didn't have the effort to protest his assumptions today.

"Our beds are pressed up against the same wall Damon. I've been traumatized over how many times I have heard you getting it on. The last thing I wanted was to relive that."

"Oh you act like I forced you to listen. If you just didn't stay over at my house every single day then maybe your poor ears could have been saved. And who said I was bringing a girl home?"

"I just know you."

"Well maybe things are different now," I glanced up and gave him a questionable look.

"What is that supposed to mean. I highly doubt you are celibate."

"No, that would be impossible," He said while rolling his eyes and continued to eat his cereal. "What I am saying is, I haven't…." He trailed off, finally grabbing my full attention as I put a shirt down and looked at him. "Ever since Katherine…"

"Are you saying you haven't had hooked up with anyone since Katherine?" I asked shocked. That is one fact I couldn't wrap my mind around. "That's so... not you."

"I know, it's such an injustice to all the women out there," He said while I just stared at him. "Stop acting like hell has frozen over," He looked down, annoyed and kept his eyes clued to his breakfast.

"It might as well have," I sat at the end of my bed while crossing my legs as I waited for him to continue.

"You are the last person who should judge. Don't even get me started on your drought."

"No, no, no. You brought it up."

"It's just ever since Katherine and I broke up, I haven't been able to go there. This is weird because you'd think I would do the exact opposite, maul anything with a pulse. I mean I've had opportunities but I couldn't go through with it. There must be something wrong with me."

"Damon, I don't know if you noticed or not but we are kind of in the same boat. You just need time. It's okay to not want to be with someone."

"I never said I didn't want to be with someone. There is this girl who out of the blue becomes attractive… no she's always been attractive but... what I am saying is I would hook up with her, but not all these other girls. So what does that mean?"

"What's holding you back?" I choked out. I hated listening him talk about other girls, especially the ones that are special to him.

"It's forbidden."

"What?" I asked shocked. "Since when is there something off limits to Damon Salvatore?"

"Trust me," He said while laughing. "This is a big no no."

"Why?"

"I said trust me," He was completely avoiding the question.

"You know I'm going to find out who she is right?" I got off the bed and went back to my laundry to hide my face. This was exactly why I needed to get over him. I was tired of these blows to my heart.

"Let's hope not," He mumbled under his breath. "Speaking of relationships," His whole attitude shifted and I frowned at the sudden change.

"I don't like that tone of voice," I said warily. Caroline probably got to him already. "It always means you are up to something I won't like."

"You act as if I do these awful things to you. But I have an idea."

"Your ideas are usually horrific. May I remind you of the last time you told me you had a great idea, I ended up getting punched in the face by Dana, and I puked all over your car and lost forty bucks." I grimaced at the memory. "Your plans suck."

"That was half your fault! But this one is going to be great. Just look pretty today."

"Why?" I asked skeptically. "And don't I always look pretty?" I said offended.

"I'm not saying, but I'm saying that I may drop by... with a friend."

"What kind of friend?"

"The type of friend I told you about yesterday."

"I thought you said you weren't going to stick your nose in my business anymore."

"That was before you gave Caroline and I permission to insert our noses back in your business. You aren't getting cold feet, are you?"

"No. I'm just not in the mood today. Does this mean I get to pester you about Giuseppe?"

"No, it does not. And I'm not throwing you to the sharks. I'm just bringing a guy around. He wont' even know about you and I'll feel him out to see if he is interested in you.

"What if I'm not interested in him?"

"Then you will never see him again."

"Fine. Just come around two. The lunch crowd will be gone by then and the place will practically be dead."

* * *

><p>"I don't know about him." I said to Jeff, the current cook. Damon and his friend had came in a few minutes ago and I was leaning against the wall talking to Jeff as their food cooked.<p>

"What's wrong with him?" He asked while glancing at the boys.

"I don't know. I mean he's cute." I cocked my head sideways while looking at him, searching for anything spectacular. "Yea, just cute."

"Orders up." Jeff said while placing the food on the counter.

"You couldn't prolong it a little longer, could you?" I asked sarcastically as I grabbed the food. I turned around and glanced at the table but stopped in my tracks and turned back to Jeff. "I'll pay you ten dollars if you do it."

"I'm going on break. You are going to face them sooner or later." I huffed and turned around while heading towards their table. Jeff was going to get his tires slashed.

"Speaking of," I heard Damon say as I set their food down.

"Talking bout me?" I asked while I sat next to him in the booth.

"I was just explain to Mason that you are going to get your Journalism degree."

"Yep. Trust me I'm not working here for the rest of my life."

"I don't know how you do it," Mason said while looking around at the empty booths and tables. "You probably get a few good naps during the day."

"You have no idea. The only way this place is still running is because all the businessmen in the building down the street come here for lunch. Otherwise it is like this all the time. It was nice when I was in school. I could secretly study."

"Getting paid to study. That would be convenient," He said while I grabbed a few fries off Damon's plate.

"Oh, those are hot." I quickly grabbed Damon's soda. "You have ketchup on your face," I laughed and grabbed a napkin and wiped the ketchup from Damon's chin.

"Hey I was saving that," He said while laughing.

"What are you, five?"

"Seven to be precise."

"You're such a loser," In the corner of my eye I saw Mason giving Damon and I a strange look.

"Why didn't you tell me you were out," I said while noticing Mason's empty glass. I grabbed it while getting up and went to refill it. The drink machine was right by the table so when Mason's not so settle whispering came into hearing range I slowed my actions down, trying to hear what was going on.

"Dude, I can't go out with her. She is totally into you."

"No she's not. We are like brother and sister. Don't worry about it," Uh. That stung. I turned slightly towards Damon to catch a glimpse of him. Brother and sister. I'll never feel that way.

I took a deep breath, grabbed Mason's soda and walked back to the table. This time I purposely sat next to Mason and shifted so I was facing more towards him.

"So you work with Alaric, right? Do you teach too?" I asked with the brightest smile I could manage.

"I don't really work with him. I'm the assistant football coach at the high school."

"Oh, so what do you actually do then?"

"I don't really need to work. I'm pretty much just living life. I coach just for the hell of it," I tried to maintain a smile but I glanced at Damon with wide eyes. He was setting me up with someone who didn't even have a job. And by the looks of it, he was a trustfund baby. Ugh. I always liked a guy with a little ambition.

"Oh well that's just... awesome," I moved slightly away from him. Nope. There was no way I could date him now. He was cute but that just wasn't enough. Damon was going to pay for this.

"So maybe we could go get a drink sometime. I know this really great bar that has the best Bloody Mary's. It's like a meal in a drink, I swear."

"That sounds good, but I don't drink."

"What?" He asked as if it was ridiculous. "Why not?"

"You know, growing up with Damon and seeing all the situations he's gotten in himself from drinking too much, I just stayed away," I said while lying and caught Damon giving me a knowing look. I sworn off drinking after my parents had died. If I didn't get so drunk that night then maybe I could have driven myself home and they wouldn't have died.

"This one time Damon got so drunk he passed out in the bushes outside my house, practically naked. You should have seen my dad's face when he came out to get the paper in the morning and all you he could see were Damon's bare legs sticking out," Damon and I both started laughing at the memory. Those were the easier times. "Apparently he has something very important to tell me but couldn't make it all the way to the house."

"I don't even remember what was so important that I had to tell you." Damon said while trying to get his laughter under control. "That may have been my most embarrassing moment."

"No I'm pretty sure your most embarrassing moment was the time you got caught using a fake British accent when trying to woo some girl!"

"That was supposed to go in the vault Elena!" He said trying to be serious but a smile kept threatening to escape.

"Payback is a bitch," I said under my breath while I grabbed Damon's soda and gave Mason another fake smile.

"That's just wrong man," Mason said while laughing as well.

"Well you know what? She used to listen to me have sex. Now tell me how wrong that is," My jaw dropped as he just smirked din my direction giving me a 'what now?' look.

"That is a lie! He used to be extra loud just to bother me."

"Did not."

"Did too. You told me one night when you were drunk. See, another reason why I don't drink," I said to Mason.

"I lie when I'm drunk."

"Well you are sober right now, so what is your excuse?"

"You two are like children," Mason said before I could retaliate. Suddenly the phone rang and quickly ran to answer it, getting an elbow nudged at me when I walked by Damon, only to slap him upside the head.

I quickly wrote down the person's order for carryout and yelled for Jeff to start cooking. I turned back towards Damon and Mason's table, only to be startled to see Damon leaning against the bar right behind me.

"So you don't need to tell me. You don't like him."

"It's not that he's a bad person," I said while trying not to offend his friend. "It's just... Damon he doesn't even have a job. He lives off his parents money. I want a guy who has aspirations and wants to make something of his life."

"Is that really so important to a girl?" Damon said while staring off into space and the way his voice came out so husky, I could sense there was something deeper behind it. "I mean, whether or not a guy has a six-figure job is a make or break?" He asked, slightly pissed off.

"That's not what I am saying at all, Damon. I just want a guy with a some job. Money isn't important to me."

"Yea, whatever," He said while turning away.

"Damon," I said while grabbing his arm, over the bar. "Is this about Katherine?"

"No, Elena," His mood suddenly changed and he was back to normal. "It's nothing. I was just thinking of how I was going to break such sad news to Mason."

"Yea, right," I said sarcastically. "I'm sure his ego will be so bruised."

"I'm actually kind of glad you don't like him," He said while leaning against the bar again. "When you sat next to him, I just got a bad feeling in my gut."

"Your Damon senses tingling again?"

"Don't mock me. Those senses are real!"

"Sure, sure. Whatever you say."

"Well I should get back to Mason. Oh and if you ever tell that accent story again, I will destroy you. Don't forget I have ammunition too."

"Oh, I'm so scared."

"You should be. I could just open my mouth to Caroline about the eyebrow incident and you would never be able to live it down."

"You wouldn't."

"I would. See you at home," He grinned at me while walking away.

"Don't forget to leave me a big tip." I shouted over my shoulder as I put food into togo bags.

This whole finding a guy thing was going to be harder than I thought.

_**Review!**_


	9. Maybe things will be different this time

"_**Jealousy is that pain which a man feels from the apprehension that he is not equally beloved by the person whom he entirely loves"**_

_**-Joseph Addison.**_

Elena Pov

"I know what boys like. I know what guys want." I sang as I washed my hair. I hummed along as the stress from the day was being washed away. "I like to tease them, they want to touch me."

"But Damon never lets them," I froze and whipped part the shower curtain back to see Damon sitting on the counter with a smug little smirk on his face as he ate popcorn and watched me.

"Damon!" I yelled. "How'd you get in here?"

"I have to admit this may be my new favorite thing."

"I noticed, you perv. Can I ever be naked around here without you somehow having to be present?"

"Nope. It's not like I haven't seen it all before," He laughed and shoved another handful of popcorn. "You know, I can't actually see you but there is an outline. Therefore, I saw those dance moves. My favorite part was the jazz hands," He reenacted the move and without thinking I grabbed a random bottle and threw it at him. I didn't like the fact that he could actually see that much.

"Hey! You got water on my popcorn."

"Don't act like you don't do embarrassing things when you are alone."

"Yea, but you aren't alone."

"Ugh, is there something you want? I really don't feel like putting on a show right now."

"What kind of show would you put on?" He asked suggestively.

"Damon, what do you want from me?" I asked as I went back to rinsing my hair.

"I'm bored. I want you to go out with me tonight," He shrugged.

"And this couldn't have waited till after I was done?"

"I said I was bored and you are very… entertaining. Just think if I would have waited I would have missed this."

"I can't believe I thought living together would be easy," I mumbled under my breath.

"So hurry up. We are leaving soon."

"I'm not going anywhere!" I protested. After the long day I had, I just wanted to sleep.

"Oh come on! It's Friday. What kind of person doesn't go out?"

"The kind who worked all day and is exhausted. Did you forget what that was like? Working?"

"You are making excuses."

"Maybe I just don't want to go out with you."

"Ouch." He said while faking being hurt. "Be gentle with me, Elena."

"Because you are so fragile," I said sarcastically as I looked around the shower for the conditioner. I peeked my head at Damon to see the bottle lying on the floor next to him. Oh great, I knew what he was going to do. "Can you hand me that bottle?"

"Why don't you come out and get it?" I frowned at him as he just smirked at me.

"Please."

"Not unless you agree to go out tonight."

"No."

"Come on, it's only seven."

"I'm already going out tomorrow night on that date Caroline is setting me up on."

"Yea, but you aren't going out with me. Please!" He said while clasping his hands and begging. "Please, please, please! I'm going crazy just sitting around."

"Why don't you go out with Caroline? I'm sure she'd love to."

"Elena, we never spend any time together."

"Damon, lately I see you every waking minute. If you really want to spend time together then let's just watch a movie or something."

"Fine," He moped and suddenly the shower curtain was being pulled back. I immediately panicked and grabbed a hold of in time the moment his face became visible. "Here's your conditioner," He just while handing it to me.

"After all these years, you still don't know boundaries."

"The moment you became my best friend you gave up privacy."

"You'd think I'd be used to it by now," I shook my head and pushed him away to keep the curtain closed.

"I'll leave you alone now."

"Thank you!" I shouted and sighed.

"I just have one question. Is it cold?"

"What are you-ah!" I was cut off by the sudden noise of the toilet flushing and the cold water that followed it.

"I'm going to kill you!" I shouted as I heard the door close.

* * *

><p>After finishing up my shower and drying my hair I finally crept out the bathroom door and made it to my room, quickly locking the door. Knowing my luck, Damon would just bust it down.<p>

"Elena! Someone is at the door!" I heard Caroline yell. Was five minutes to myself too much to ask for? I quickly threw on some clothes and walked out into the living room and kitchen to see Damon still eating popcorn, five feet away from the door and Caroline sitting on the couch, reading a magazine.

"You guys are so lazy!" I said as the knocking on the door increased. I quickly went to open it when I did; I nearly slammed the door shut.

"Stefan," I gasped. He was the last person I thought would show up on my door. After the shock wore off, I immediately I jumped in his arms as his bags dropped to the floor and he hugged me back. "What are you doing here?" I squeezed him.

"I was on the phone with Caroline and she told me that I should come out. I haven't seen you in a while and I thought it would be a good time," I turned towards Caroline and gave her a playful glare.

"Thanks for telling me," I said accusingly. As I turned back to Stefan I saw Damon standing in the kitchen with his mouth open as the popcorn fell from his fingers. At that moment I finally realized what exactly was going on here. Damon and I were both about to get caught in a lie. The only thing separating Damon from Stefan's view was the fridge. I saw him finally come to and start looking around the kitchen for a place to hide.

"Another reason why I came out was because Caroline also mentioned the fact that my brother was staying here," It was my turn for my jaw to drop. He knew? This time I gave Caroline a real glare.

"What? Did I do something wrong?" She asked oblivious to what exactly was all going on here.

"Thanks," Damon said sarcastically to Caroline as he came out of his hiding spot. "Brother," He said while nodding towards Stefan.

"We have a lot of talking to do," Stefan said and then his eyes landed on me. "Both of you."

"But first you want to relax, right?" Caroline said while suddenly appearing and grabbing his hand. "I'll show you around."

"How the hell does he know Caroline?" Damon said the moment they were out of hearing range.

"Stefan has come out to visit me a few times. They are friends," There was a brief moment of hurt in Damon's eyes before he covered it up.

"And what the hell kind of greeting was that?"

"Stefan and I have been friends just as long as you and I have."

"Yea, but you certaily didn't jump into my arms the way you did his," He frowned and but didn't break eye contact with me.

"I hate to break it to you, but stefan and I left on a good note," I felt the small ammount of guilt I usually got after bringing that up but luckily he didn't say anything, just backed away from me a little while looking anywhere but at me. Why did things just get awkward?

"So Damon, is it alright if I crash with you?" Stefan voice came out of nowhere and shook my head back into reality.

"No way, you can have the couch."

"Why do I have to have the couch? Why can't I just stay with you?"

"Stefan, there is a higher chance that tonight I will be sharing my bed with an Andi, Jessica, Rose or maybe all three. Not you." I rolled my eyes, knowing that that was such a loud of bullshit.

"What about an Elena?" Stefan said with a little mischievous smile that used to come out and play all the time when we were teenagers. Figures he would fall right back into the pattern of picking on our relationship.

"He wishes," I said with a smirk aimed at Damon but instead of him joking back he just glanced in my direction for a moment then looked away. "You can sleep with me, Stefan."

"No, he will have the couch," Damon finally found his voice again which caused me to sigh.

"That's nonsense he will just sleep with me," I told him. Why did I have to debate this?

"He will be fine on the couch."

"Damon, he's spending the night with me. It's fine."

"Couch."

"Me," I said getting a little defensive. It annoyed me more than anything when he thought he could just demand things.

"It is my apartment and I say he stays on the couch," He said while pushing Stefan over towards the couch.

"It is _our _apartment and I saw he stays with me," I yanked Stefan back over to my side while glaring at Damon.

"No, the couch," He wrapped his hand around Stefan and almost pulled him away before I grabbed Stefan's other arm. I tugged and he yanked.

"Jeez, children! Stefan will stay with me!" Caroline came between us while grabbing Stefan and taking his bags off towards her room.

"Why didn't you have a problem with her taking him?" I complained "That's so unfair."

"Because..." He started off angry but as words seemed to fail him he couldn't come up with anything. "I... I really need a drink," He marched off into his room and I followed.

"No, seriously. Why do you always have to do things like this? I mean it's just Stefan. You don't have to act like such an over protective bro-" I choked on the word as I noticed I was about to say brother. Gross. But that was it, right? That's how our relationship was to him. Like brother and sister... with one really messed up sister.

"That feeling is kicking in, Elena," Damon said as he looked around his room for something. "You know, that bad feeling."

"Well tell it to cut it out. It's only Stefan."

"Have you seen my keys anywhere?" He paused and looked up at me.

"Did you check your leather jacket?"

"No," He said as he walked into his walk in closet.

"Hey, Lena," I turned from the doorway to see Stefan right next to me. "Caroline has got plans till later but you wanna go to Matt's tonight?"

"She isn't going to agree to it," I heard Damon say from behind us.

"Sure," In the corner of my eye I saw Damon's head pop out of the closest with a look of bewilderment as he looked between us two.

"Sounds good," He said as he left the room. I slowly looked back to Damon who was leaning against his closest door and giving me a look. "What?"

"Nothing," He said while shaking his head and turning his attention back to the jacket and pulled out his keys.

"So are you coming with us right?" I asked.

"I'll meet you guys there. I have some... stuff I have to do."

"Okay... sure," I said warily. Something was off.

* * *

><p>The car ride to Matt's wasn't even remotely filled with silence as Stefan fired off question after question.<p>

"The dodger's stadium? Seriously?" He asked bewildered.

"Yea, I know. Of all the places to run into him."

"And then suddenly you are living together? Why didn't you tell me right away?"

"He asked me not to. I know there is something going on and he doesn't want me to know, but can you just answer this. Is Damon in trouble?"

"Damon will fine, he's just under a lot of stress right now," Stefan whispered out. I got a good look at him and noticed that whatever was affecting Damon was affecting Stefan just as well.

"My turn for a question," He said as his good mood suddenly reappeared.

"Or another five hundred."

"So, how do you feel about him now?" I opened my mouth to answer it immediately but clamped it shut.

"I'm trying," Was all I could manage to say. "If I keep trying to get over him, maybe one day it could happen. Did you hear I'm actually going to let Caroline and Damon set me up?"

"What?" He nearly swerved into the other lane.

"Yep. I know, so not like me. But I could use a good guy to help me get over Damon."

"A lot of girls say I'm a good guy," He gave me a look that I was way too used to and I couldn't help but laugh. The thought of being with Stefan like that gave me the creeps. Now this kind of relationship felt like brother and sister.

"I'm sure they do, but I know your dark side."

"But you like guys with dark sides," He said and I could only pick up on a slight amount of jealousy in his voice.

"And look where that has gotten me," I said as we pulled up to the bar. "Oh, there is something else I should probably tell you. I'm in love with Matt."

"What?" He slammed on the breaks as we came to a complete stop in the parking lot. I should remind myself to not tell certain things while driving.

"Relax. I'm only pretending to be. It's a long story."

"This just keeps getting better and better," He said in amazement. "This stuff is going to make for a great best man speech at your guys wedding." I rolled my eyes and got out of the car.

"Don't get my hopes up."

_**AN: Sorry for the long wait. So next chapter will be Damon's pov. I'll be using his a lot more now. I hope you guys don't mind Stefan appearing. I didn't plan on him coming for awhile. I was planning more for at the end but I think I'm going to try and add on more to this story than I had originally planned. **_

_**Review!**_


	10. Come share my dream cause reality sucks

_**You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.  
><strong>Barbara DeAngelis<strong>**_

**Damon Pov**

"Alaric this isn't funny," I groaned and shifted in my chair, waiting for him to grow up.

"So Stefan just walks in and takes your lady from you?" Out of all the things I just told him, that is what he hung on to? Never mind the fact that my brother has just arrived and is going to guilt me back to Mystic Falls.

"That's not what is important right now," I pushed past the reoccurring feeling that Elena has been associated with and decided to dwell on it later.

"I'm pretty sure it's important. When are you just going to admit it to yourself?"

"There is nothing to admit," I snapped. "I should have never talked to you about that. I don't feel that way anymore. It wasn't my brain talking, it was something entirely different."

"Sure," He said while rolling his eyes dramatically. "We both know they truth and we both know why you can't just admit it."

"It doesn't matter, it's not like I'm going to be here for much longer," I noticed my words made him frown and I did my best to try to say something about his over-active emotions but I couldn't find it in me.

"Do you really think he's going to make you go back?"

"Stefan can't make me do anything. But I cant look him in the eye and leave him again. It was selfish on my part to do that. I've never been the best brother, but I think it's time to start trying."

"So you are leaving?"

"It's going to be hard."

"Especially now that you have something to stay for," I briefly made eye contact with him, not daring enough to deny that statement.

"Come on. I'll buy you a drink," I said while standing but immediately stumbling a bit. I took a deep breath and attempted to get the whirling sensation out of my head.

"You okay?" Alaric asked in understanding.

"Just a little dizzy."

When we arrived at Matt's I was surprised by the amount of people that had showed up. Sure it was the weekend, but last time I was here it was practically deserted. I was hard to find a place to sit at the bar but I couldn't see Elena anywhere.

"Wow, since when is this placed packed?"

"Baseball game," I heard someone say and I looked around to find that the voice came from no other than Matt. I scoffed and ordered a drink, doing my best to not glare at him for too long. He is so nauseating, I have no idea what Elena see's in him.

"Whoa..." I heard Alaric exclaim and turned to see him staring wide-eyed at Caroline, who had just came in. He was jittery and started to step towards her but I caught his arm in time to drag him back before he could make a move.

"Oh, no, no, no. She's off limits."

"Why?" He pouted.

"One, she is my roommate. Two, she is my friend-in law... Step-friend? Something along those lines. And three, you have Isobel waiting at home for you!"

"These aren't logical arguments." He shook his head and I just turned away from him, too bewildered to comment.

"If you go after her, you'll regret it."

"Maybe I'll just go talk to Elena then."

"Fine, go see Caroline." I easily complied while he grinned at getting his way and waltzed off. "Touch Elena, and you're dead." I shouted after him.

After a while of watching the game and ignoring anyone who tried talking to me, I finally spotted Elena on the other end off the bar, leaning against a chair. She was cringing away from a guy that was sitting next to her and I couldn't fail to recognize how cute it was when her noise crinkled in disgust. She looked over in my direction and caught me staring at her but a look of relief washed over her features as she quickly excused herself and rushed over to me.

"Put your arm around me." She quickly said as she leaned against my side. I did what she asked and gave her a confused look. When the guy she was sitting next to turned away from our direction, I felt her sigh and relax but I didn't move to take my arm away. "Sorry there was a creep bothering me."

"Hey guys." I turned slightly to see Stefan come over to us, and I unconsciously let my arm fall from Elena's shoulders.

"Was this the creep?" I jokingly asked. Stefan just gave us a confused look as Elena just shook her head.

"It's a long story." She told him when she stopped giggling. "I swear I'm going to kill Caroline."

"What she do now?"

"When she got here she left me alone with this one guy. He was so weird."

"What was so weird about him?" Stefan asked.

"Well he had a Mohawk. A Mohawk! Who has those anymore? And then this other guy was chewing gum so obnoxiously I almost punched him so he would stop," I snickered at her while catching a glimpse of Stefan doing the same.

I watched Stefan carefully after that. It seemed he had a glint in his eyes as his gaze never left her. What was going on there? It didn't seem like Elena noticed but he was a little too infatuated with her. You would think all those years his undying love for her would dwindle. I've always known that he liked her but there was just something that bothered me about it now.

She was my best friend. What if they got together? Even though they were friends, Elena and I have always been closer. If they dated would that change? Would Stefan come first? No, I didn't like this at all.

"Hey, Damon. Can I talk to you outside for a moment?" Stefan asked. I didn't like that either. "Maybe you should... stop drinking."

"Don't feel like it," I automatically said which earned a frown from Elena and Stefan both.

"Whether you like it or not Damon, we are going to talk."Stefan nearly yelled as he backed away and disappeared into the crowd.

"What was that about?" I could tell by her tone that she was aggravated with the situation. "What is with you today? Ever since Stefan has gotten here, you've been snippy."

"I'm not snippy."

"Stefan said you are under a lot of stress," Oh Stefan. He was putting it lightly. It felt like the world was on my shoulders. Under a lot of stress felt like an monumental understatement.

"Yea," I whispered a little and before I could even recognize what was happening, Elena had her arms wrapped around my waist and her head shoved on my chest as she squeezed me. "Okay..."

"I read somewhere that hugs help stress," She mumbled against me as I hesitantly wrapped my arms around her as well.

"You're such a dork," I breathed out but found myself hugging her back. We probably looked really out of place in this bar.

"I'm cool with it."

"I missed your hugs," I said, not even realizing I aired my thoughts. Sometimes that filter gets shut off around her.

"Was it weird not having a daily Elena hug?"

"I went through some serious withdrawal."

"It's a good thing that you don't have to worry about that anymore," She sighed with a bright smile and I didn't have the heart to tell her that may not be the case. "Whoa, Damon are you okay? I swear I can hear your heart beating out of your chest." She pressed herself even more into me and stayed still.

"I'm fine. You just do those kind of things to me." She giggled and let go of me all too soon. She turned back towards her stool and when she wasn't looking my hand went to my heart, as if I could try to settle it. I was a little lightheaded, maybe Stefan was right...

"So I'm thinking of quitting at the diner and working here," She said, pulling me out of my thoughts.

"What?"

"Yea, Matt told me that they are starting to pick business up here and they need more people."

"Wouldn't it be weird working with Matt?"

"No. Why would it be weird?"

"Because of your situation," I said obviously and it felt like it took a moment for her to realize what I was saying.

"Oh! No, we are already friends so I don't think it would be too much."

"How can you be friends with him when you feel that way?" I didn't understand it. Just finding her attractive was driving me insane. I don't know how she does it.

"What can she say, she has a thing for 'friend boys'." Caroline fell between us, seeming a little too buzzed.

"Caroline, I think it's time to go."

"No way! Party pooper," She frowned at us and walked back to where she came from. In the distance I could see Alaric giving a thumbs up.

"She's going to be fun tomorrow."

"Stefan gets to wake up to her. Lucky guy," I joked, instantly regretting it afterwards for bringing him up.

"Speaking of Stefan, you've been a dick to him and that's not okay."

"I know," I sighed."But-"

"No buts. You should go find him," I was going to protest but realized it was probably for the better to get this out of the way.

"Fine," I sighed and handed her my drink. "Stay here."

I walked out of the bar, hoping Stefan was outside, only to find him leaning against a brick wall by the parking lot.

"Look, I know what you are going to say," I started off.

"Do you Damon?"

"I know you want me to come back."

"No Damon, I need you to come back. How could you just leave me like that? With no way to contact you? This is the time that we need to stick together."

"I get that. You have to understand that _I_ needed a break. Everything just crashed down on me all in one day and I couldn't do it anymore. I snapped and there were some mistakes I've made that I had to mend."

"This isn't a situation you can just take a break from Damon! It's time to man up and come home to face your problems," This was exactly why I didn't want this conversation.

"I already decided that I'm coming back. You can stop trying to convince me. I know I left you high and dry but I'm going to make things better," I could visibly see that Stefan had calmed down on the outside but I knew that it would take awhile for him to forgive me.

"Just so you know Katherine has been asking about you."

"What? I'm pretty sure she made it clear she didn't want me in her life anymore."

"That was before she found out the reason why you quit working for Giuseppe."

"How'd she find out?"

"I thought she might know where you were and I accidentally let some of it slip," I was going to kill him. "She doesn't know what exactly is going on but be careful when you get back. You don't know what she is up to."

"Just give me another few weeks, Stefan. I'm not quite done here. I can't leave yet."

"Time is running out Damon. You know why you have to be in Mystic Falls. You don't want to have any regrets."

"That's exactly why I can't leave yet."

**_AN: I just wanted to say thanks for everyone who has been reading and reviewing:) I love you._**

**_So any guesses where this is going? I'd love to hear them._**

**_Review!_**


	11. Feeling the moment slip away

"_**Are you upset little friend? Have you been lying awake worrying? Well, don't worry… I'm here. The flood waters will recede, the famine will end, the sun will shine tomorrow, and I will always be here to take care of you."**_

_**Charlie Brown to Snoopy**_

_Elena POV  
><em>"What are doing?" I yelled out my car window as I slammed on my breaks after seeing Damon sprawled out on someone's front yard. When all he did was just lie there with his eyes closed and his hand clutching his chest, I pulled the car over and jumped out. "You're joking right?" I asked bewildered.

"Shush." He mumbled as he took deep breaths.

"What the hell are you doing? Are you okay?"

"This lawn seemed awfully comfy at first, I'm not so sure anymore," He mumbled as he finally opened his eyes and sat up.

"What are doing?" I asked again. Was I the only one to find this a tad peculiar?

"Stefan forced me to go for a jog with him." He said while sighing as he stood up.

"Where is Stefan?" I looked around but didn't see him anywhere.

"He was really into his music and didn't notice that I dipped on him."

"This is how far you got?" I turned towards the apartment and could literately see it from where we were standing. I tried to hold in my giggles but I couldn't do the impossible. "That is pathetic."

"I have a low tolerance for exercise." He said defensively.

"Since when?" I scoffed.

"Since I became an old man." He said while stretching. "For as long as Stefan is here he won't let me drink and is forcing me to exercise. It's time to make him leave." I peered at him while trying to put the pieces together.

"Why is Stefan being so… healthy?"

"Back at home, Stefan was forcing me to do all this before I left. He's strange like that." He walked past me and over to my car, not elaborating anymore on the subject. I hated it when he deflected.

"So I'm nervous for that date tonight." I said as I got back into my car and pulled out onto the street. "Caroline says that this guy is actually a good one."

"Of course he is." He said sarcastically.

"What? You don't think Caroline has good taste in men?"

"Well Caroline is into my brother, so what do you think?"

"Wait, wait, wait. What? How do you know this?"

"Trust me, Elena. I know things. I have a special gift, I could spot it coming from miles away," I looked at him with wide eyes as I clamped my lips together, doing my best not laugh at him.

"Sure you do." I shook it off but let a smile escape. "Well, well look who actually is jogging!" I said as I spotted Stefan running back to the apartment. When he saw us he slowed down and came towards the car as I stopped at the stop sign.

"You really called Elena to pick you up?" He asked Damon with an unbelieving expression on his face.

"No! Our telepathy kicked in and she just appeared when I needed her."

"This is true." I told him.

"Whatever. Why should I care about your well being, when obvious you don't," He snapped at Damon.

"Whoa, Stefan. What your problem?"

"Why don't you ask Damon." He said looking frustrated as he pushed off the car and went back to jogging.

"Seriously, what is going on between you two?"

"He's still mad at me. Just drive, he'll get over it." I rolled my eyes and pulled into the parking lot. If it was the last thing I do, I'm going to find out why these Salvatore brothers were so strange.

* * *

><p>"Stop being so nervous!" Damon yelled at me as I went through my closest.<p>

"I can't help it, I'm a girl." I explained as I threw another dress towards Damon, on my bed. He was laying there shirtless, all casual. It was like he was mocking me. He might as well practically say, 'I know you are going on a date and you are trying to forget about how lickable my chest is but I thought I would plaque your mind with this image for the next few hours,' what a dick.

"Fine, want some tips? Slouch a lot, it shows you are comfortable around him. And you can text away all you want because it will make him feel like he has competition and that he has to work harder. Also, don't be afraid to get the most expensive thing on the menu. The most important thing of all, do not, under any circumstances tell him you had a great time." I stopped looking through my closest and turned towards him, completely dumfounded.

"And why are you trying to sabotage me?"

"Sabotage you? What kind of friend do you think I am?"

"The kind that gives bad dating tips on purpose for no apparent reason."

"Those aren't bad dating tips, those are great ones. I swear they work every time."

"Those so called 'tips' are going to make this guy run for the hills."

"Okay, so maybe they aren't the best."

"Maybe." I agreed. "Why does it bother you so much? You were so on board with me dating before but lately it's like if any guy comes near me you… freak out."

"I've always been this way."

"You've always been protective but never like this. You are acting like a jealous boyfriend lately."

"I am not jealous!" He said with a shocked look, which may be from me actually bringing up the obvious or how ridiculous my statement was. I couldn't decipher between the two.

"Oh, you so are. Which I know is ridiculous, especially because you only see me as a sister but-"

"Who says I see you as a sister?" He cut me off while giving me a confused look.

"That's what you told Mason."

"Eavesdropping again?" He quirked an eyebrow at me and just shook his head. "I just told him that to convince him you don't like me.'

"Oh." I whispered and looked anywhere but him. I grabbed a pair of shoes and walked over to my bed, trying to occupy myself.

"Besides, you know you are so much more than that." I let a small smile escape and did my best to not let him see it.

"What are you doing?" Caroline burst into my room looking at me like I was insane. "Elijah is going to be here soon and you aren't even dressed!"

"I'm hurrying. He's distracting me!" I said while pointing to Damon.

"I see why." She said, while giving me a knowing look. "But if you aren't ready when he gets here, I'll kill you!"

"Okay, okay! Wish me luck." I told Damon as I grabbed my dress and ran towards the bathroom, only to stop in my doorway to give him a small smile.

* * *

><p>I crept back into the apartment, praying no one was home. It was only midnight so hopefully Caroline and Damon would be still out. I really needed to be alone right now. Tonight was a disaster. I just wanted to detach myself from the world and go hide out under my covers. Maybe I'd wake up and things would be different; better.<p>

As I shuffled into my room and passed Damon's door, I was just brought back to how things will never change. I'm stuck. I was an idiot to think otherwise.

I kicked of my shoes and crawled into my bed, not caring to go through the normal routine. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping that my brain would just stop going a hundred miles a minute and give me a break.

When it wasn't working, I opened my eyes and uncontrollably let the tears I had been suppressing ever since Elijah opened my car door, slip out.

"Elena?" Oh god. I quickly wiped my tears away and kept my face turned from the door that I heard Damon's voice come from.

"Mhm," I mumbled not wanting to say too much before my voice cracked and he knew something was wrong. It just figured that he would be home. It must not have worked because only seconds later I felt the covers on the other side of the bed being pushed down. I opened my eyes and turned on my side to see him laying there next to me.

"What happened?"

"Nothing happened" I said with a strained voice that obviously gave away the fact that moments ago I had been crying.

"It would be different if I didn't just catch you blubbering." He said while gently sweeping my hair off my face.

"I'm so stupid." I said in a low voice.

"Why?" There was no playful remark, no sarcasm and no smirk on his face. For once he was just Damon. Without the show he puts on for everyone.

"Because from the very beginning I knew it was pointless." I was doing my best to hold back the sobs but I knew by the end of this there would be no point. "I let you two talk me into this dating thing when from the beginning I knew it wouldn't even matter."

"What happened? Did that Elijah guy hurt you? I'll kill him."

"No," I cut him off before he could get too worked up.

"It's just the exact opposite really. He was a complete gentleman. He complimented me in a way that was appropriate, he held doors open for me, and over all was generally what I consider the perfect guy that a girl looks for."

"Then what's got you so sad?" He said with a humorless chuckle.

"Even though he was so ideal, I couldn't feel anything. The whole night I was trying so hard but it didn't matter because he wasn't enough. This guy with all the right qualities just wasn't… he wasn't what I wanted. He's what I need, though. But to me, the perfect guy for me is full of imperfections. What does that say about me Damon?"

"Just because this one guy doesn't work doesn't mean someone else wont."

"You don't get it, Damon. No one is ever going to replace-" You. "No one can ever replace Matt." I spat out. It felt like it burned to say his name instead of Damon's.

"Give yourself some time."

"It's not just that. I went against my better judgment. Maybe I just wanted to believe I could love again so bad that common sense escaped me." I was already given the gift of love. Nobody said that the love I had must be returned. It was still love. The purest kind and I can't just go out and find that love anywhere. It's not something you search for, it something you find. "I'm going to be alone forever." I sobbed and crawled closer to him as I buried my head in his chest, seeking the comfort that I needed so desperately. Being in his arms and crying over the fact that he was so close but so far away, wasn't helping things but somehow I couldn't find it in me to let go. I just tightened my grip around him to the point of pain.

"Don't say that," He said, sounding equally upset about it. "This loneliness you feel, I promise you, it's only for the moment."

"How do you know that?"

"You are still young, Elena. Maybe you will be surprised. I mean what makes this guy so special from the rest?"

"There are six billion people out there, six billion different choices; but the only one I want is him. And out of all those people he was the only one who could make me smile when the world felt so suffocating. In my darkest moments, he's made me laugh. How can there not be something special about that?" I could feel light feathery touches being traced up and down my back that wdfd meant to be soothing but it felt like my skin was on fire. Every single touch felt so right, it was painful.

"I hate it. I hate loving him, Damon." It felt so wrong to not be honest with who I was talking about, in one of my most vulnerable moments. "I used to think I was one of the special ones. I got to experience that feeling that some people don't. Now I feel someone has played a sick joke on me. I don't want to feel like this."

"If I could take it away, you know I would."

"But you can't." I whispered. I felt his lips on forehead as I closed my eyes, savoring the moment.

"I'm sorry." He whispered back in the gentlest way. And for a moment it felt like he knew. But he couldn't, I wouldn't let him because even though we weren't together and we would never be, if he knew and rejected me, it would hurt so much more. That was one pain I couldn't handle.

It would have to be life or death for me to ever admit my feelings.

_**AN: Hey everybody! Again, I just want to thank everyone for reading. I would love to comment on some of your reviews but knowing me, I'd give too much away. But keep telling me what you think!**_

_**Just so you know I'm thinking about redoing my summary. So don't get confused. I usually hate it when people do that but I thought maybe I should make the summary a little vaguer because there is more than just the dating thing. Nothing is going to change though so don't worry. **_

_**Review!**_


	12. The inevitable is catching up to us

_**"I'm sorry to say so  
><strong>__**but, sadly it's true  
><strong>__**that bang-ups and hang-ups  
><strong>__**can happen to you""**_

_**-Dr. Seuss**_

_**Damon POV**_

_I tapped my foot impatiently against the floor as the waiting emptied till I was the last one there. It had gotten dark outside from the storm, making the room even duller._

_I had been spending too many hours of my day in waiting rooms lately. Always to be followed by mere seconds with a doctor and be told to come back again and waste my time away. I practically had my own sitting area by now. I was very close to bringing a sign in and claiming this chair as 'Damon's'. Where did they get these ugly chairs anyway? Do you think when painting the walls they said to themselves, 'let's find the most depressing shade of white'? The outcome makes it pretty clear they did. _

_Time was ticking away and my nervous tick of tapping my foot and picking at the material of the chairs became apparent again. I've never been great with waiting, and in stressful situations like this the 'ants' in my pants, really liked to act up on me. I do my best not to be the guy pacing in the waiting room or the one who hopefully looks towards the nurse that comes through the door, praying that it will be my name they call. But sometimes I didn't have control over it. Most of the people were just here for their annual check up and they will be sent away with news that everything is normal. But then there were the ones that innocently came in with no worries and left with their life changed. _

_I wasn't one of those people. I came in with worries, but I may or may not walk out of here with my life changed. _

"_Damon Salvatore?" I looked up to see a pretty young nurse waiting by the door. Well… here we go._

* * *

><p>"Damon, what are you doing here?" Alaric forced me out of my memory, forcing me back to reality. The door slamming behind him made me flinch. I had been lying on his couch for a few hours, waiting for him to come home.<p>

"I was tired of Elena nagging me about sleeping my days away so I came over here to sleep my day away."

"What's the other reason?"

"Alright, so I may be avoiding Elena and Stefan?"

"Why?" He asked while sitting down on the chair across from me. Was this turning into a therapy session?

"Stefan is running me into the ground. I guess it's his way of coping. But he just doesn't understand that I just can't physically do half of the stuff he wants me to."

"Well I figured, but I was more confused about you dodging Elena." I sighed and shifted uncomfortably. I didn't really want to dwell on this right now. I opened my mouth to respond but the words on the tip of my tongue wouldn't come out. The truth was how awkward I felt last night holding Elena while she cried.

Maybe awkward was the wrong word. All I know is that there is definitely some sort of distress brewing within me.

"Do you want to go beat up someone tonight?" I exhaled while he gave me a questioning look. "Matt from that bar," I clarified.

"Is this because you're jealous of him?" He asked while rolling his eyes. Where did he get this stuff?

"I am not jealous. Why would I be jealous? He's making Elena cry. This guy is an asshole. From the moment I met him, I knew he was a dick. I just knew."

"Sure," He nodded sarcastically.

"I mean, who in there right mind would turn Elena down? How can he not see how much she loves him? And how can he not love her back? Why can't she just be happy?" Why can't I make her happy? "Elena… she's perfect."

"Oh of course she is."

"She's beautiful, she's funny and caring," I listed and ignored his mocking words. "She is so selfless and she's so… so beautiful."

"You said that already."

"Will you just stop with this attitude?"

"Oh, sorry I'm just waiting."

"Waiting for what?" I asked exasperated.

"For you to realize how in love with her you are," I stared at him blankly, thinking of all the ways to shoot down the ridiculous assumption.

"Oh I so knew it!" He took my silence as a conformation as words seemed to be failing me.

"Don't be stupid Ric. We both know why that will never happen and how selfish it would be to even think of such things."

"Whatever. The way I see it, you should be telling her how _beautiful _you think she is, instead of moping on my couch all day." Here we go again.

"Well, you are right about one thing," I said while standing up from the couch. "There are some things Elena and I need to talk about.

"That's an understatement. Are you finally going to tell her?"

"No way am I telling her about… that. But I do need to tell her that I plan on going back to Mystic Falls with Stefan."

"Yea, when are you leaving me?"

"Soon. Too soon."

'You know all you have to do is make a simple phone call and there is nothing to worry about. You can stay here."

"I know that. But Mystic Falls is home. I need to be home right now."

"Have fun explaining that to Elena."

* * *

><p><strong><em>Elena POV<em>**

He was ignoring me. Ever since I woke up after Damon rushed out of my bedroom, he has been avoiding me every chance he gets. He hasn't even looked at me. All kinds of thoughts have been rushing through my head. Did he know? Did he finally figure it out? Does he hate me now? Are things going to get weird? Does he think I'm obsessed or something?

He had to know. He had to have figured it out that last night was spent crying over him and not Matt.

Oh I hated this. I didn't want him to come home. We were going to have that conversation, that awful conversation that I just don't want to deal with. I've been dreading it from the moment I realized how amazing he is. Why did I have to do this to myself? I just couldn't keep my emotions intact. I've been riding a thin line for so long it was probably inevitable. What was I going to do? Should I confront it?

"Elena, can I talk to you?" My heart stopped for a moment till I realized it was only Stefan standing next to my bedroom door.

"Sure." I said nonchalantly.

"What's wrong?" He asked immediately as he flung himself onto my bed next to me.

"He knows, Stefan. And now he hates me. I've ruined everything." I put my head in my hands, not wanting Stefan to see how horrified I was.

"No, he doesn't." He said while rolling his eyes. "Trust me, if he did. He'd be jumping for joy."

"No. He'd be disgusted with me. He probably thinks I'm some creep with a huge crush on him. I'm so embarrassed. I don't know what to do."

"Don't you think I'd be the first person he would go to?" I thought it over and he was right. Damon would go to Stefan first. But what if he went to Caroline? And knowing her, she'd totally give me away on accident.

"I'm sorry. I'm being selfish." I said noticing how off track we got. "You wanted to talk?"

"Yeah, I just wanted to tell you something that I've always wanted to." I gulped and looked away from him. I had a feeling this was coming. "I know this may be bad timing but lately I have realized how short life really is. And there isn't anything in this world that I would regret more than not telling you the truth."

"Stefan…" I didn't know what else to say.

"I know it's never going to be me, Elena. I've known that for all my life. And I know that you know I care about you, more than just a friend. And I understand that this will never happen." He motioned between us. "But I want you to know it is okay to admit to wanting something."

"I'm sorry I can never be that person for you." I whispered while looking down.

"And I'm sorry I can't be him for you."

"I wish I could change things," I sniffled a little and blinked back tears. This was just so messed up. Why was it that we always have to love the one person who doesn't love you back?

"Damon?"

"What?" I mumbled as I followed Stefan's gaze over to my door to see Damon trying to sneak away.

"Sorry. Clearly you are in the middle of something. I'll come back later."

"No wait." Stefan said, stopping him. "I think you and Elena need to talk more than we do."

"Hey," I whispered as Damon took Stefan's place.

"Hey," He said back.

"You've been avoiding me," I stated, straight to the point.

"Maybe." He admitted. Great, I was right. I think I may get sick.

"Okay, let's just get this out there. I don't want things to be awkward. I'm really embarrassed and you were never supposed to know. Can you just forget this and never bring it up? Please? I know it may be hard but things can go back to normal and don't think I'm like weird and feel uncomf-"

"What are you talking about?" He cut me off, looking completely bewildered. "I was ignoring you because I have to tell you something."

"What?" I asked, taken completely of guard. Oh, no. "Did I just insert my foot into my mouth?"

"Yes. And now you are going to have to explain."

"So you have no idea what I was talking about?" He shook his head no and I let out a huge breath of relief. Oh the weight as been lifted! "I feel so much better!"

"You know you have to tell me now."

"I'd rather die. Now it's your turn. Explain."

"Don't think you are getting out of this. I want to know what you thought I knew."

"Trust me, you don't. Now stop deflecting and confess."

"Okay." He said suddenly becoming serious. I frowned and watched as his hands started to play with the quilt on my bed. I always knew when he played with things around him he was nervous. "You know how there are some things I've been keeping from you?"

"No, I completely forgot that my best friend for years now has been keeping something from me and is refusing to confide in me." I said sarcastically. "Are you finally going to tell me?"

"No." He said while I pouted at him. "I just have some things that I have to take care of."

"So…" I trailed off, not knowing where he was going with this.

"I'm going back home with Stefan." I gasped and let my mouth hang ajar while I stared silently at him.

"Please tell me you are joking." I whispered. I've only had him back for a few weeks, I can't lose him now!

"I'm not. But come on, you knew I had to go back sometime. I told you I was only on vacation."

"I don't want you to go."

"And I don't want to go. In fact, I want to beg you to come home with me but I know you have priorities here."

"You may have a chance of convincing me."

"Let's just make these last few days count, okay?" I nodded my head as he smiled.

"No regrets. Lord knows last time I had a few." He chuckled and put his hand out, trying to lighten this dreadful moment.

"No regrets." I said while grabbing his hand and shaking.

_**AN: Sorry for the long wait and mixed pov's. I hope you like the chapter. I love to hear your guesses on what's all going to happen. Thanks for sticking along. **_

_**Review **_


	13. Keep in mind the sacrifices I'm making

_**How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.  
><strong>__**-Oscar Wilde**_

_Damon Pov_

"You know, I can't believe this is our first time going to the beach together," Elena mumbled as we laid our towels out onto the sand. "What brought on this whole beach thing?" She asked as she slowly took her tank top off.

"I- I just wanted to spend the day in the sun." I looked her up and down and my gaze stayed on her exposed flesh.

"Are you checking me out?" She said while giggling.

"I can't help it." I said while laughing as well. "It's not my fault you have a nice body." A very very nice body.

"Well I'm faltered."

"And don't' think I didn't notice you doing the same thing to me a few minutes ago," I said while lying down next to her. I only saw a vague shadow of a blush before she was back to her normal self.

"It's not my fault you have a nice body." She repeated my words with a grin on her face. It was strange how normal this was.

"Have you ever wondered why we can act like this and it not be a big deal?"

"What do mean?"

"Never mind," I said quickly. Maybe I was just reading too much into things. "So how have you been after the whole breakdown the other night?"

"I still feel icky," She sighed. "What about you? How's that girl you have a crush on?"

"I never said I had a crush. I'm not fourteen."

"Whatever. You have a crush. Does she live in Mystic Falls?" She asked as she rolled over onto her stomach.

"She grew up there." I chose my words carefully. This was so wrong. Would it really be that awful if I just told her the truth? I mean Stefan could do it. But what would be the point, it would just be heartbreak waiting to happen.

Whoa! When did this became a matter of the heart?

"More please." She urged me on. This was a disaster waiting to happen. "Does she know you like her?"

"I already told you it was forbidden. If she knew, she probably wouldn't ever want to see me again."

"How do you know? You should just tell her and maybe things will turn out for the best."

"That would be selfish of me." I mumbled while looking back up at the sky. Looking at her and lying to her face was becoming too much.

"Is it because you can't handle a relationship right now? Did Katherine mess you up that bad?" I shuttered at the thought of Katherine. Just another reminder of what I had to deal with when I got home.

"No, it's because she deserves to be happy. And knowing that I feel something and then…" I didn't know how to put this without her realizing why I was holding back so much. "I can't guarantee that I can stick around forever."

"Nobody can ever guarantee anything."

"It doesn't matter anyway. She's already got someone."

"Oh, this just got juicier. Is she married? Engaged?" I turned back towards her to see her inner girl seeping through her usual drama free façade.

"You are such a gossip."

"Can you blame me? Your life is so entertaining!"

"We are talking way too much about me."

"No, you never want to talk about yourself." She just didn't know I was petrified that I'd give something away. "In fact you never tell me anything anymore. Is this friendship really that one-sided?"

"You are being petty."

"Am I? I mean we both know that you've been keeping things from me."

"Fine." I shifted onto my side, facing her. "Let's make a deal. We both tell each other one secret that no one knows."

"Deal." She said with a huge grin on her face. "You first."

"Let me think."

"It better be a good one. Full of emotion."

"Okay, so when I came to California it wasn't just to see Ric. I actually planned on finding you. It was the whole reason I was here. But as the weeks went by I didn't have the balls to actually do it. I was scared you'd never want to see me again and hate me forever."

"Damon…"

"Your turn." I cut her off before she could elaborate.

"I want to go home." She said without missing a beat. Her eyes were downcast on the sand as she continued. "I want to go back to Mystic Falls. I miss it but I'm too scared to go back. Things won't be the same and I'm so afraid that it will hurt."

"I'm scared too."

"Of what?"

"Life," I answered as her eyes connected with mine. "Or maybe the opposite of it."

"What do you mean?"

"Have you ever thought that everything we do in our life is just leading up to one big moment? You know, that moment that we were born for? Or do you ever think that we don't even realize when that moment has come? You hear so many stories of death that happens so quickly. Do you think those people knew when there defining moment passed them up?"

"Do you think you already had your moment?"

"Yea," I whispered. "I just can't place when it was. I've never told anyone this before." The waves, the laughter and the noise from everyone else on the beach and the hot sun all seemed to disappear. It was just Elena and me with a moment of truth that I felt like we haven't had in so long. I studied her as she blinked a few times, trying to control her emotions like always.

"So you are scared of dying? That's reasonable. We've both lost people we care about. I can understand why the idea is frightening. But whenever you feel that way you can come to me. I'll convince you that you still have many great things to do in this world." God, she was too amazing. How did I get so lucky to have her in my life? And how was I so stupid as to almost let her slip through my fingers.

"Promise me something?"

"Anything."

"No matter what you find out about me, no matter how mad you may get at me for keeping things from you. Don't ever leave me again. I want to be able to call you at three in the morning and know you'll answer. I want to just drop by the way Stefan does and it be okay."

"You should know by now that I'm not resenting you anymore. Actually, this reminds me of something." She sat up; leaving me confused and started ruffling through her beach bag. "I want to give you something."

"What?" I said hesitantly while sitting up as well. She turned back to me with a necklace dangling from her fingers.

"Now, let me explain. Jeremy gave me this necklace on my eighteenth birthday. It was my mothers."

"I remember her wearing it." I said while eyeing the piece of jewelry that meant the world to her.

"To me, this necklace became more of a symbol of love and family. And now I want to give it to you to prove something. You're my family. We both don't have much family left and I just want it to be whenever you look at this you will be reminded of me and how we are a family. That will never change. When I left for school I basically shoved you out of my life, well this is me telling you that I don't ever want you to leave again." She slowly grabbed my hand and placed the necklace in my palm. "I know you can't wear it or anything. But maybe when you finally get married and have a bunch of babies you could give it to your daughter or the love of your life and explain what it means."

"You really want me to have this?" I asked after steadying my breathing.

"Yes." She said while taking a deep breath. "I wouldn't just give this to anyone."

"Thank you." I said even though the words didn't seem like enough.

"And hopefully it will remind you of me so after you leave tomorrow you will want to come back and see me again."

"Oh, so you have ulterior motives?"

"Maybe just a little bit." I looked at her and I realized I had to do something. I couldn't leave her when she was so broken. I had to fix her before I left.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe you are leaving tomorrow!"<p>

"You knew this time was coming Alaric." I had spent the whole day with Elena and I still couldn't get her off my mind. I didn't want to leave her. But it was inevitable.

"You'll keep me updated right? As much as I hate to admit this, I worry."

"Yea right. You know you are the worst influence. You take me out to bars." I said motioning around the room. "I'm pretty sure Matt's isn't the best place for me to be."

"You are a grown man. You can say no." He said while rolling his eyes. "Okay, out with it." I looked at him and frowned. "What's running through your mind? You got your thinking face on."

"I don't want to say goodbye to Elena." I confessed after a moment of silence. "Growing up, she was the younger girl I could share all my problems with. Her little innocent ears listened to all my bullshit and we got close because I knew she wouldn't judge me because at her age she was so willing to understand. And then she got older and she was able to talk to me about all her issues and we got even closer because of it. And I never saw anything else between us besides friendship because we were already so emotionally connected. It was too much to ask for anything else. But now...I can't deny it anymore."

"Wait a minute." He said while taking a step back. "Are you finally admitting I was right?"

"No, I'm saying I was wrong. There is a difference."

"Oh, that stupid pride of yours is so annoying."

"I can't keep doing this. I can't keep carrying on like nothing has changed between us."

"Are you sure that it wasn't always there? It might just be you current situation forcing you to look at this in a different way."

"There was always some sort of… flirtation, I guess. But lately I take one look at her and I forget my name."

"But you are holding yourself back, aren't you?"

"For so many reasons, I have to. I can't think of myself and screw all the consequences of what would come if she found out. I know what I have to do tonight."

"What's that?" I nodded towards Matt who was in the middle of fixing a drink. Alaric immediately understood and frowned.

"She's going to kill you."

"He likes her. She just doesn't know it." I said while fixing my eyes on Matt.

"So you are finally putting your jealousy and pride aside? Wow. I never thought I'd see the day."

"I guess I just had to come to the conclusion that she needs to be happy… without me." I caught Matt's eye and gestured for him to come over.

"Refill?" He asked and grabbed my now empty glass while I nodded. Tonight was my last night of freedom, might as well get plastered before having to face the inevitable. "Anything else I can do for you?" He asked while trying not to make eye contact. Obviously he knew I didn't like him.

"Yes, as a matter of fact, there is."

_**AN: Sorry it's so short. I was going to make it an extra long chapter but I decided that I wanted the rest in Elena's pov. Next chapter is going to be a big one. Some secrets are finally revealed and maybe a few of your questions will be answered. I'm really excited to write it. It's the chapter I've been waiting to write since the very beginning of this story. **_

_**Thanks for reading! Now go review:)**_


	14. And I'd do anything to make you stay

_**The timing of death, like the ending of a story, gives a changed meaning to what proceeded it.  
><strong>__**Mary Catherine Bateson**_

_**Elena POV  
><strong>_"Yes and no." I said when I felt the other side of the bed shift and heard a groan escape from the bundle of blankets next to me. "Yes, you came in here drunk at three in the morning and started to get naked and no, I didn't try to stop you."

"Turn the sun off!" Damon complained into my pillow.

"You did this to yourself."

"Has anyone ever told you that you have a strange lack of compassion sometimes?" He slowly raised his head from the pillow and I did my best not to laugh at the insane bedhead he was sporting.

"You know you have to leave in an hour."

"Shit!" He attempted to jump out of the bed only to collapse back to the same position.

"Too fast?"

"Yea." He squinted and tried to focus his eyes on me. "What are you doing?"

"Finishing up my journal entry." I said while writing the last sentence.

"Oh." He said, clearly interested. "Let me see that." He reached over me with new strength that he certainly didn't have a few seconds ago.

"No!" I swatted him away but that didn't help much.

"Why? Am I in there?" He said with a giant grin on his face.

"Yes, in fact the first line is, 'Damon's snoring has gotten worse over the years,'."

"I don't snore." He said while rolling over and giving up.

"You've have to get up and pack soon. What are you even all taking?"

"I've already packed some clothes. I'll send you guys money for rent if I can keep the rest here. But that means I get to show up whenever I want."

"I don't want you to leave."

"Well if you did I'd be offended."

I gave a small smile and thought back to what I had been writing in my journal only moments ago. He was leaving and who knew how long it would be till I saw him again. Stefan's' words had been stuck in my head for so long now and I feel like he was right. Life is too short to not let the person you love know you love them. Maybe it was time I actually started putting myself out there and maybe if it had to come down to it, this could help me get over him.

"Damon, I really want to tell you something. There's been something that I haven't been completely honest about." This caught his attention. He quirked an eyebrow at me and waited for me to go on.

"When we were at Matt's when we first saw each other again, Caroline somewhat panicked and-"

"Hey Elena, do you have a- oh my god! This is awkward," I turned towards my door to see Caroline rushing out. I looked back to Damon confused only to see that he had sat up and it was somewhat obvious that he was naked. That and his clothes were strewn across the room.

"I'm going to have to be explaining this for weeks and she will never believe me," I glared at Damon while he shrugged.

"She must be very jealous right now." He said with a smirk.

It wasn't much longer till the aspirin started working and I kicked him out of my bed. I never found the right opportunity dig further into the subject I had started before. And he was acting quite strange as well. I caught him staring at me a few times. It must be hitting him that we won't be seeing each other everyday. We've never actually had a goodbye like this before. I left before that could happen.

* * *

><p>Caroline and Stefan were talking over by the front door while Damon and I were putting suitcases into the trunk of Stefan's rental.<p>

"So, this is it."

"Don't say it like that," I said while rolling my eyes. "You act like we are going to go three years without seeing each other again."

"Well that wont be happening again.," He said while laughing.

"You've been acting strange."

"I know. I've just been thinking about something." He said, shifting a little. He looked hesitant to go into detail.

"What's that?"

"It's now or never." He said under his breath and I knew I wasn't supposed to hear it.

"Stop being so strange." I said softly, trying to lighten the mood. He gave me a small smile before completely wrapping me up in his arms in a bear hug.

"Can I do something without it being completely weird between us?" He whispered in my ear.

"What?" I pulled away a little and looked up at him. His arms unwrapped themselves around me but we stayed close and before I knew it his hands were cupping my face. Wait… He wasn't going to-

I didn't get to finish the thought before he very gently placed his lips on mine. Was this really happening? I didn't even have time to respond and recognize the fireworks going off in my mind before he was pulling away with a shocked look as if he really didn't believe he just did that. I'm sure I had an equally surprised look on my face.

"Did you just…" I trailed off not being able to actually piece together what exactly happened. Did he just kiss me or were my fantasies getting a little out of hand?

"I've always wanted to try that." He said with a classic smirk, clearly not regretting it. I looked up at him with wide eyes and it suddenly all clicked. He just freaking kissed me!

"Damon we have to go," I looked for the voice, only to find Stefan already in the car waiting. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know how to act. This was so… unexpected.

"I'll see you around Lena." I couldn't form words as he started to walk away. Everything in me was screaming not to let him leave but I had no idea what this meant. And before I knew it, he was gone.

* * *

><p><em><strong>DPOV<strong>_

"Did you really just kiss Elena?" Stefan asked as we drove away.

"Yea," Was all I could manage. I felt tingly all over. I really kissed her. I really did it and she didn't slap me and tell me to get bent. What did this mean?

"Took you long enough." He mumbled while I frowned.

"Hey did you remember to grab that box on the counter for me?" I asked while adjusting my seat.

"Oh shit." He suddenly slowed down.

"Really Stefan? I have to go face her again after that?"

"Do you want your stuff or not?" He said while turning around.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Elena POV<br>**_Once they were finally out of view I dragged myself over to the door where Caroline was standing.

"That just happened!" She squealed. "I told you that boy was into you!" She gloated the whole way up the stairs, not even realizing the shocked state I was in. "I just knew it. I should go on a game show, I'm way too good at predicting things."

"I should have told him," I sighed, not paying attention to her rambling as we entered the apartment. "I should have been honest that it was never about Matt. I was going to tell him." The shock started to wear off and the regrets started to make their appearance. I slid up onto the counter in the kitchen, too lost in my thoughts to notice a shoe box sitting there as I accidently knocked it over onto the floor making all the contents spill out.

"Do you need to talk?" Caroline suddenly noticed my mood wasn't as chipper as hers.

"Can I just be alone right now?" She nodded while I bent down to pick up my mess. I frowned at what I saw. The box was full of pill bottles. I picked a few up and read medications that didn't sound familiar, all made out to Damon. I recognized some beta blockers but that was mostly it. Why would Damon have all these?

I started taking deep breaths, trying to control my thoughts before they spun out of hand.

"Elena? Caroline?" I heard Damon's voice and froze.

"Elena." He said when he spotted me on the floor surround by his medication.

"What is all this Damon?" I looked down at the floor, not being able to look at him. Our kiss had been long forgotten. "Are you…" I took a deep breath and shut my eyes. "Are you sick?" When he didn't answer my eyes shot open and landed on him. All I could see was the shame.

"You were never supposed to know." He whispered while I flinched and did my best to control my overbearing emotions. I felt the tears easily leak as realization hit me hard that what he was keeping from me was bigger than I had expected.

"How could you not tell me this? This isn't something you keep from the people you love Damon! How could you be so selfish?"

"Selfish? I was doing everything I could to spare you! How could I come here after years and just drop the bomb that another person in your life may or may not be around anymore."

"What?" I whispered in complete shock. "You're dying?" I choked on the words as my breathing became uneven and I couldn't see straight. I didn't think it was something that serious. This couldn't be happening. This wasn't real, it must be a dream. Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!

"Elena." He said suddenly becoming calm. He shouldn't be this calm. No. This was bad.

"Tell me this is a joke. Tell me you are the biggest asshole and that you just wanted to see my reaction. Please, don't tell me you are… you are…" I couldn't get the words out.

"I'm sorry," He said fighting back the emotions that I so helplessly couldn't. "I had kept this from everyone. The only people who know everything are Alaric and Stefan. Don't think it was just you."

"What's wrong with you?" I really didn't want to know. I couldn't deal with this right now.

"I have restrictive cardiomyopathy."

"Oh god," It was all becoming real, too real. After my parents death I thought I'd be strong enough to take on anything but this was something I could ever prepare for. My best friend, the love of my life, and one of the closest things to family I have left is about to leave me. He was never supposed to leave me. "How bad is it?" I whispered while covering my face with my hands. I didn't want to look at him right now.

"Bad." He said.

"Bad enough that you are dying." I stated more to myself than him.

""I'm not dying dying."

"What do you mean you are not dying dying?" I snapped while dropping my hands. This was not time to be vague and cryptic.

"It means things are kind of up in the air right now." Up in the air? Was he fucking kidding me right now? Who says that about their life?

"I'm coming with you." I said automatically. "We are going to fight this together."

"No, you are staying here and living your life. I'm not dragging you down with me."

"How can you possibly say that right now? No, I'm coming with and this is one thing you aren't going to control."

"I'm not going to be the reason for you to leave your life behind."

"I'm not arguing-" I didn't get time to finish before Stefan burst into the apartment.

"Damon, we have to go. We are going to miss our flight."

"Don't worry about me Elena," Damon said while grabbing his box from the floor.

"How can I not worry about you?" I didn't realize how mad I was until right now. He started walking towards the door but I grabbed his arm before he could actually just walk out like that. "All this time you've been blaming me for running away. And you did the exact same thing."

"I'm not running away anymore."

"What do you call this?"

"Finally accepting things. I still don't want you knowing all the details Elena. It'll drive you crazy. When I got the news I was able to live as if nothing was wrong for weeks. Then they told me that things were worse than they thought and the options for me were dwindling. I couldn't face it."

"But you were out here this whole time Damon. Why can't you stay?"

"I was offered the promotion at work I've been working for for years. That day I quit my job. When Katherine found out she broke up with me because I couldn't give her an answer why and then I came here. My father won't talk to me, I left my brother and I still have to pack my things from the apartment Katherine and I shared." He said with a little chuckle. "I have to patch things up in Mystic Falls." I dropped my hand from his arm and sighed. He was leaving.

"Damon, we have to go." Stefan said gently this time, obviously putting the pieces together that I now know.

"You were never supposed to know." He said again while giving me a small smile. I stood there in shock, still not accepting that these past few minutes have actually happened. And before I was able to make a move I heard the apartment door shut.

There was no way I was listening to him this time. I was not going to let me just leave so easily.

"Caroline!" I shouted while running towards her room. She was sitting on her bed listening to music, completely oblivious to what just happened.

"Yea?" She asked simply.

"How do you feel about a little trip?"

"Where are we going?"

"Home."

_**AN: Sooooooo what do you think? I did my best to trick you on who was actually the sick one but it was always going to be Damon. I know some of you may be confused on what is actually going on with him but you will find out all the details somewhat soon. He's keeping it from Elena right now so that means I am keeping it from you:)**_

_**Oh and don't worry. I pretty much want the mood of the story to still be somewhat light so I'm not taking this down a completely dark road. There will still be fun moments and then the serious moments. **_

_**Review! **_


	15. I close my eyes and wish it was a dream

_**In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.**__**  
><strong>__**Albert Schweitzer**_

_**Elena Pov**_

I stared blankly at my computer screen, not knowing till this moment how taunting Google could be. All the information I wanted was just a few words away but I couldn't bring myself to actually type them. I needed to know what exactly was wrong with Damon, but that didn't mean I wanted to know. And knowing me I would probably misspell it and come across some other awful disease and freak myself out even more, so what's the point?

I knew I was being stupid but I wasn't ready yet. I couldn't let myself go there.

I shut my laptop a little too harshly and got up, distancing myself from the computer. It didn't take research to know how many signs I so blindly looked past. I mean, Damon couldn't even get up the stairs without being extremely out of breath. He couldn't exercise, he was always just 'resting his eyes', constantly getting dizzy and sometimes he had this look of discomfort on his face. Did I just convince myself to look past these things or was I seriously so wrapped up in myself that I didn't even notice them? I must be an awful person to not see that my best friend had been suffering from some illness.

"Elena, will you get the door!" I heard Caroline call from the other room. I glanced at the clock to see that it had been fifteen minutes that I've been ready to go and Caroline was still packing.

"Sure," I mumbled even though I knew she couldn't hear it. I opened the door still lost in my thoughts, not putting the pieces together as to why Matt was standing at my door with flowers.

"Hey Matt," I said hesitantly as I eyed him up and down. What was he doing here? "Do you want me to get Caroline?" I assumed that he was here for her by the way his hair was slicked back and by his clothes that were too nice to wear on any random day. He and Caroline were always subtlety flirting, I must have missed something. I was missing a lot of things in the land of Elena.

"No, actually I'm here for you," He tilted the flowers in my direction and stared back at me confused. "Didn't Damon tell you?"

I felt my mouth go dry and my eyes may or may not have bulged out of my head. I was going to murder him.

"Matt, I…," Words failed me as I stuttered to straighten out my thoughts and understand what was going on. "What exactly did Damon tell you?"

"It's okay, Elena. You don't have to pretend anymore. Damon told me about how you felt and I'm flattered but I've thought you only saw me as a friend. I've asked you out so many times, why didn't you say yes?" Oh god. I didn't want to hurt him. I should have known better.

And then with sudden realization the world seemed to stop spinning. Damon thought Matt and I were going to finally be together? Damon didn't have any feeling towards me. He said himself that he always wanted to try kissing me. I guess we all are curious about those things and now that he's sick and was leaving… I thought…It doesn't matter what I thought, because I was wrong. And here Matt was standing here waiting for an explanation that I couldn't give. I fought the tears as I pushed back thoughts of Damon.

"I'm really sorry Matt, but something came up and I have to fly home. Maybe when I get back we can reschedule?" I saw my words make the small smile fall from his face.

"Yeah, that's fine. Is everything okay?" He asked, sensing the tears that I had been desperately blinking away.

"No," I whispered and closed the door, not even realizing how rude of me it was. I turned away and shuffled into Caroline's room in a complete trance.

"Who was that? Why do you look so pale?" Caroline asked as I sat on her bed and started to help fold some shirts she had laid out next to her suitcase.

"It was Matt. Damon told him everything."

"What? What did Matt say?" She asked, clearly caught off guard.

"Do you think…" I couldn't complete my words as I ignored her question. "Was I stupid to let myself start to hope again?"

"What are you talking about?" She put down the jeans she was folding and sat next to me on the bed. "Is this about the kiss?"

"I didn't even realize that I started to hope again until Matt showed up at the door. If Damon had any feelings for me he would have never said anything to Matt. Damon's the type of guy who takes what he wants."

"Elena…," Caroline's mouth opened as if she wanted to say so much more but for once; she didn't.

"It's nothing. Here I am again only thinking about myself," I sat up from the bed, trying to mentally shake off the thoughts. "I want to leave soon."

"Okay, I'm hurrying. How long are we exactly going for?" She looked down at all her clothes and I realized she had enough for long over a week.

"I… I don't know. Maybe you shouldn't come, Caroline," I said, suddenly realizing that maybe her coming wasn't the best thought out idea. "I don't know how long I'll be there and it might be for a long time."

"No way am I not coming with you! I don't know what exactly is going on but I'm not letting you leave by yourself. Why do you think it's taking me so long to pack? I need to make sure I have everything. And anyways do you really think I can spend my entire summer vacation without you?"

"Entire summer vacation?"

"You know, you should probably call your boss. I have a feeling you won't be coming back to work anytime soon," I felt my eyes go wide as I rushed out of the room. I completely forgot about that.

"I'm the worst employee ever," I yelled to Caroline as I dialed my boss's number. It suddenly sunk it that this was happening. I'm going back to Mystic Falls. And here I am practically quitting my job at last minute. Was it worth it?

I already knew the answer as I hit the talk button. I was getting up and leaving everything behind, even when Damon didn't want to be with me, he was still worth it. He was always going to be worth it.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Damon Pov<br>**_It was after eight when we finally arrived in Mystic Falls. It felt odd being back, it certainly was missing a key part of being home. I didn't want to be here. I wanted to go back to a week ago when everything was fine, when I was able to forget about reality. It was easy to pretend with Elena. With Elena not knowing the truth it was like it actually didn't exist. But unfortunately my body wouldn't let me forget.

Why did this have to happen right now? I never knew that my whole life was just a ticking bomb. I wasted so much time. I wasted so much time with Elena. I let her leave for three years. I waste three years of my life not being fully happy. But I'm willing to let her go now. She can't be here with me. Maybe these past few weeks were my sick way of saying goodbye. If there was anything I knew was that I couldn't ruin her life. I couldn't hold her back. The selfish part of me wanted to. I wanted to beg her to be with me, in every way possible. I wanted her to forget about her life she created without me and just be with me for as long as I had left.

I wanted to wake up every morning to see her face and I wanted to hold her close every chance I got. I don't know why it took me so long to accept this. I don't know why death had to be thrown in my face before I could realize how perfect everything was when she was around.

But this all doesn't even matter anymore. It was selfish of me to even let her know what was happening. I should have lied.

"I'll bring these up to your room. You've had a long day you should probably get some rest," Stefan broke me out of my thoughts and I frowned. He was using that caring voice again. Didn't he realize that I didn't want to be treated like a sick person?

"I can do it myself," I snapped while grabbing my suitcases out of his hands as I made my way up the stairs of the Boarding house. I couldn't even come back to the place I lived for over a year because of Katherine. Just another thing I had to deal with. Surely she has a lot to say to me. She broke up with me after she found out I just up and quit working for Giuseppe and I knew if she actually knew the reason why she wouldn't have. But things couldn't go back to how they used to be. I'm not even thinking the way I used to.

"You know what? I'm sick and tired of your pride getting in the way Damon," Stefan yelled at me as I was only halfway up the stairs. "I'm doing everything I can to help you! I listened to what your doctors said and do the best I can and yet you still act as if I'm making your life miserable!"

"I really don't want to get into this right now," I mumbled between gritted teeth.

"You never want to accept these things Damon. Face it, you are stuck in denial and you don't like it that I'm trying to make you face the facts."

"No what I don't like is the fact that you ruined a good thing! It's your fault Elena found out! If you would have just left me alone and didn't try to suffocate me than maybe Elena and I could still be living our lives in peace! If you just left me alone I wouldn't be standing here and feeling as miserable as I do."

"You can't blame me for this, don't you dare put that on me!" He said while backing away and shaking his head. "This is not my fault. It's not my fault you are sick," I settled down and tried to let my anger disappear when I notice the vulnerability in his eyes.

"Stefan," I said suddenly filled with regret as he walked away from the stairs. He didn't stop to turn to me and I didn't blame him. I was taking it out on him. I didn't mean to...

I gave up; knowing that tomorrow would be easier to talk to him. It had been a long day, filled with too many overbearing emotions.

I finally made my way up the stairs and found my room. I opened my door and it felt as if I had never left. I dropped my bags and kicked off my shoes as I walked over to my bed, crawling in right away. I laid on my side as I stared at the framed photo on the side table next to my bed. I unconsciously reached out and grabbed the picture of Elena and me when we were kids. She had to be around seven and I was probably going on eleven. I remember the day like it was yesterday. Elena and I had gone fishing and I had caught a fish in the photo. I had the biggest grin while Elena was standing next to me with her line still cast out in the water with a glare on her face aimed at me. I caught three fish that day and she caught none. It was funny that even back then she had been glaring and I had a smirk. I guess things don't change. I had stared at this picture for so long after she left, trying to put the pieces together of how we actually got to the place we were in.

"Why is this happening to me?" I whispered to myself. It wasn't long until I felt my eyelids grow heavier and the inevitable happened.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Elena POV<br>**_Over the years I had imagined my reunion to Mystic Falls to be a lot different. I always thought that once I got here anything good would be filled with sadness but I was wrong. It wasn't like the idea I had my head. I forgot that this was home and not just the place where my parents had died. In fact, instead of feeling depressed, I felt closer to my parents than I ever did in California. I had forgotten about the family and memories I had left behind. And surprisingly I regret leaving this more than anything.

The first place I went was home to Jenna and Jeremy. I had called her before I had left and filled her in. Jeremy had come home for summer break as well and it felt like nothing had changed. Caroline had been squealing about how much she loved small towns ever since she got here. She instantly clicked with my family which I knew she would. Jenna had made… well attempted to make a huge dinner which didn't turn out so we ordered pizza. It was typical and I loved it.

As wonderful as it was to be back home my mind was still focused on Damon and the fact that I needed to see him as soon as possible. It was starting to get late so I decided that I was going crash them in the morning. Needless to say my whole night was spent awake. I'm surprised I didn't keep Caroline awake from all my tossing and turning.

By the time it was seven in the morning I had given up. I wrote Caroline a quick note before sneaking out of the house, trying not to wake anyone. Once I arrived at the Boarding house I was going to ring the doorbell but thought better of it. I was used to just walking in anyway. It's not like I didn't practically live here as well. I quietly snuck in the house, being extra quiet as I went up the stairs.

When I had reached Damon's room I had tiptoed over to the other side of his bed and climbed in like I've done so many times before. I crawled closer to him and leaned my head on his chest when I noticed that something was already laying there. I leaned up a little and grabbed the picture frame and stared at it. I couldn't help but let a laugh escape at the memory. We were so little. The smile on my face slowly dropped and I stared at the young Damon. This was not supposed to be that little boy's future…

After a long moment of silence I finally spoke. "I'm sorry," I choked on the words when the came out as I snuggled up against his body. "I'm sorry for being so mad at you for pretending to be so oblivious. I thought you were so selfish." I thought back to all my days I've spent loving him and at the same time hating things about him. "I'm sorry," I whispered again. "I'm even worse. I didn't... I didn't even let myself notice the signs. So I can't be mad at you anymore because I get it. I understand why you chose to just ignore the signs. We were both happy pretending those things didn't exist.

"And these last years, I've been... I've been pretty lonely. I have Caroline but I really needed you. There has always been a void that I thought would always be there. I never realized you were the missing piece till showed up out of nowhere. And now I have no choice but to be here with you. I'm never leaving your side again... even if you want me to. All I want to do is be there for you and help."

"Please tell me I am dreaming." His sudden voice caught me off guard as he opened his eyes. I could see the anger itched onto his face. Clearly he didn't want me here. "You aren't supposed to be here."

"Good morning Mr. Grumpy,"

"Elena, what are you doing here?" He sighed while rubbing his eyes. He clearly gave up on being angry.

"There was no way I could stay away Damon, even if I am mad at you."

"What did I do now?" He asked with an innocent expression.

"I can't believe you told Matt," I saw him trying to fight a small smile.

"What happened?"

"He came over all dressed up with flowers and asked me out."

"I'm waiting." He said with a full on smile.

"For what? A Thank you?"

"Obviously," He said as if he didn't get one he would be getting cheated.

"Well you aren't getting one. I can't believe you did that."

"I don't understand why you aren't happy. You should be at home with Matt,"

"You can't expect me to stay there after all that's happened. Why couldn't you tell me?" I asked, turning the conversation to a more serious direction.

"Wouldn't that have been selfish of me?"

"No, what's selfish is not letting me know. I mean, what if it was Stefan and he didn't tell you?"

"Stefan wouldn't have kept it a a secret, he would have been honest, but I'm not my brother," He said hesitantly. "He's a lot braver than I am. I ran away when my worst fears had come true. And he has been trying so hard to get me to face them. I wish I could be more like him but I can't Elena, I can't. It's not in me. I can't admit that I'm feeling things for someone who I know will never love me back. I can't face what is happening to me. I can barely even talk about it. I know the steps when it comes to things like this. I'm pretty sure I've been stuck on that resistance one."

"What's the next step?"

"Acceptance."

"And has that finally happened?"

"I'm scared, Elena." He said softly and for the first time in my life I saw what true vulnerability looked like.

"Bad things happen, but they don't define us."

"It's kind of ironic that I have a stiff heart. You think someone's trying to tell me something?"

"Don't say that. You care and you don't give yourself enough credit for. If there is anyone who's been awful lately, it's me. I was being selfish. I didn't even notice… it was always about me. We almost never talk about you. I mean we talked about Katherine like once."

"You know there's another girl now. We talked about that." He offered. I didn't mean to but I flinched at his words. They were always going to sting.

I went back to leaning on his chest, knowing that I needed to just take in the fact that I was next to him.

"I was looking at that picture before," I said bringing up an easier subject of easier times. "When did you get it framed?"

"A little after you left for school. It was a good reminder that you were once a part of my life."

"You know I hated you that day," I said as I looked at the picture again." I blamed you, thinking your fish were telling everyone not to go near my line. Still think they did,"

"Of course you do. You just can't admit the fact that you are bad fisher."

"Oh, I'm a great fisher."

"You keep telling yourself that," He said with a chuckle. I went to open my mouth to make a remark but was cut off by the sudden blaring of his alarm clock. He flinched as well as he hit it off.

"Why do you have to be up so early?"

"Doctors appointment."

"Oh," I whispered.

"Do you want to come with?" He asked after an awkward moment of silence. I smiled at the fact that he was finally going to let me in. I nodded as he looked down at me with a hesitant look. "Are you ready for this?"

"Yes," I said thinking back to how yesterday I couldn't even Google what was wrong with him. "I'm ready now."

_**AN: Sorry. That's all I can say. Honestly I could give you the longest list of reasons why this chapter was so delayed but I know you probably don't want to listen to them. Just know that I won't let it go that long again, I swear! I hoped you liked this chapter and I'm thinking next chapter will fill you in on what exactly Damon's situation is. **_

_**Thanks for reading:) Please review! **_


	16. At least I know I had my days with you

_**A **__**new **__**wound **__**makes **__**all **__**the **__**old **__**ones **__**ache **__**again.  
><strong>__**Mignon **__**McLaughlin**_

_**EPOV  
><strong>_Driving with Damon to the clinic in the next town over took longer than I expected and I wasn't prepared for how calm he would actually be. I was starting to become used to how stressed and uncomfortable he was whenever mentioning the fact he was sick. But he was different. He was cracking jokes and making typical Damon comments.

When he finally pulled into a parking lot I looked around, taking in the small clinic that I've never been to. "Why do you come to this one?"

"Mystic Falls is too small of a town I guess. I like to keep my distance."

"What's exactly going to happen?" I eyed the place as we got out of the car.

"Well I'm supposed to be coming in regularly so they can check up on things and I haven't since I left for California. Also I want to get some different medication."

"Oh," I mumbled as we walked into the place as the familiar smell of the doctors office came over me.

I stood next to Damon as he gave his information to the receptionist and then followed after him into the waiting room. We sat down and it was only a couple minutes until he started to notice how nervous I was.

"What's wrong?" He asked while putting a calming hand onto my shaking leg. I always unconsciously shake my legs while sitting down when I'm nervous. I hated how he knew these little details. "Ever since we got here you've been nervous."

"I don't know," I couldn't actually pin the reason but I knew it had to do with actually learning what's going on.

"You can ask questions, you know" He seemed so relaxed. Clearly this had become a routine for him. "When I first brought Stefan with me, he acted somewhat the same. Just don't turn out like him and try to control my every move. What would you like to know?" He was trying to be gentle. I could see it in his eyes that he didn't want to overload me.

"What exactly is wrong with you?" He laughed a little at my sudden shyness of the situation.

"To keep it simple, my heart is too stiff to fill with blood properly."

"How is being fixed? Can't you get surgery or something?" I tried diving into the basic knowledge I've had from health classes but couldn't really remember much.

"Elena there is something I should probably tell you," He didn't bother to answer my questions this time. "I don't just have restrictive cardiomyopathy; I have end-stage restrictive cardiomyopathy."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that I got the worst of it. A pacemaker would be the most common thing but when I went in to see if I was eligible, it turns out I'm not. I'm too much of a risk for blood clots which will kill me faster than..." His words trailed off and it wasn't until now did I see the small amount of fear behind his eyes. He cleared his throat and went back to talking. "But that wouldn't fix me. This isn't something you can fix. I'm dying, Elena. At this rate, I only have a few years left." I stared back at him blankly. "But if I get a heart, I still have a chance," He dug into his pocket and showed me a pager. "If it goes off, my whole world would change."

"You need a heart or you're going to die." I stated. My words came out smooth and I was surprised by my own lack of emotion.

"Eventually..."

"And your chances are what, one in a thousand?" I raised my voice and he quickly glanced around the waiting room, seeing if anyone noticed.

"Damon Salvatore?" His name was being called and he looked at me and frowned. I could tell he was now hesitant on bringing me with him.

"Maybe you should stay here."

"But…" I didn't have time to finish before he was standing up and walking towards the nurse.

"I'll be back in a few minutes, it won't take long."

And he didn't take long. I was a little mad he made me wait in the waiting room but as the time went on I knew it was for the best. I need a few minutes to accept a few things. It wasn't like I wasn't expecting it to be bad, I knew it wasn't good but it still took me back a little bit. Once he did come back we headed over to the testing center. I held his jacket as he got his blood taken and somehow my hands found the small pager he showed me before.

"That's why Stefan was so mad at me for leaving." I looked up to see him watching me. "I didn't tell anyone that I left. I could have wasted a heart." He said as he began to fix his sleeve. My jaw dropped and I wanted to scold him but he didn't give me the chance. "But for some reason you just seemed important enough."

"You took that risk to come see me?" I whispered.

"Of course I did." I let a small smile escape as I gave back his jacket.

"Things have been too gloomy." I stated, thinking back on the past few days. I've been through it all with Damon; dead parents, heartbreaks, and now sickness. And this wasn't going to change how we normally acted around each other. I wasn't going to let this control anything.

"I know."

"Let's do something fun tonight. You, Caroline, Stefan and I should all do something and forget about reality for a bit." He smiled at me while nodding."I like it when you smile. And now I'm determined to see it more often."

"Whenever you're around I find myself smiling," I felt the butterflies in my stomach start up when he looked at me the way he was. Times like this it almost felt like he knew what he did to me.

* * *

><p>The car ride home was long but it wasn't as awkward as I imagined it to be. I still found myself trying to fill the silence though. Turning the radio on didn't help much and after fidgeting with the channels I just decided to put whatever CD that was already in the player on. Barry Manilow instantly filled the car and I turned towards Damon, raising an eyebrow.<p>

"Clearly Stefan was using my car," he stated defensively.

"Damon there is something you should know," with the most serious expression I could manage I turned up the music. "_I can't smile without you," _I sang along for only a short period until he shut the music off. He cracked a smile while shaking his head at me.

"Of course you can't, because I'm amazing."

"What happened to make you so arrogant?"

"Ouch, I prefer to the word proud or confident," I giggled under my breath thinking back to how high school gave him an immediate ego boost that never really died out. But who could really blame him? Conceited guys usually make me want to punch them in the face and I swear sometimes Damon's wasn't an exception but somehow it worked for him. It even made him somewhat more attractive. I loved even the things I hated about him. Now tell me that is not pathetic? "I mean it's not my fault I was blessed so much."

"You know Damon, I never knew you could be so modest."

"My modesty is just another great thing about me," not bothering to comment on how that sentence contradicted itself, I went back to looking for CD's in his car. I almost hoped I'd find an Elton John CD or something to make fun of him for. "But don't get me wrong, you got great things about you too."

"Oh really, what are your favorite things about me then?"

"Well let's see. My favorite thing about you is that you listen when I'm talking. I also love that you don't put up with anyone's bullshit. Oh and you get this bashful little smile whenever you feel shy or slightly embarrassed about something. It's actually quite adorable. And the fact that you don't even know how enticing you can be. I find it strange that you don't even know how beautiful you are," Throughout his whole speech I was watching him so closely that we both didn't realize that he went off to his own little world, letting his thoughts flow. "And my most favorite part about you is that you would drop everything and immediately fly across country for your friend."

"I didn't know you could be so observant," I said when he seemed to be done. "You're sweet, you know that?" He turned to me with a small smirk playing at his lips and for a moment I saw something more behind his eyes. Something I couldn't quite pin before he looked back to the road.

"I know."

* * *

><p>After stopping at the pharmacy and then going back to the boarding house we found Stefan giving Caroline a tour of the house. We all decided to go out for lunch together. I raised an eyebrow at Caroline when we left the house when the boys weren't looking as to why Stefan was giving her a tour when I knew deep down Caroline could care less about it. All she did was shrug which didn't help my growing suspicions since Damon mentioned something.<p>

"So how do you like Mystic Falls?" Damon asked Caroline as we all sat down.

"It's so adorable! It's like your stereotypical small town that I've always wanted to live in."

"Really?" I asked as I sat next to Damon.

"Yeah, I know I may seem like a city girl but deep down I've always had a soft spot for close-knitted communities. And Elena has always said such nice things about the town."

"I missed it here," I caught myself before I said anything about maybe moving back. It wasn't the time or place and I already knew Damon would have a fit about it. He'd think it was his fault and I was giving up my life because of him. It was going to be hard to make him believe it was something I wanted. "And the people of course," I glanced at Damon which didn't seem to go unnoticed by him who was already watching me close. I gave him a little smile and the words _bashful_ popped into my head.

"What's going on between you two?" Caroline spoke, clearly witnessing the exchange.

"What do you mean?" I asked with wide eyes, hoping I pulled off the innocent act better than I thought I did. I should have known if I didn't give her the lecture of what she was not aloud to bring up, this would happen.

"I mean that little smooch we all witnessed," she said obviously.

"Umm…," Stefan mumbled, clearly trying to find the right words to save me from this situation after putting the pieces together that after all that has happened, this is one thing Damon and I haven't discussed. I turned towards Damon to see him longingly looking at the bar, probably thinking that a drink would be very nice at this moment.

"You mean that goodbye kiss I gave my friends before I was leaving, not knowing when I would see her again? What about it?" He brushed it off as if it was normal. Was that really all it was? A goodbye?

From the reaction on Caroline's face, it seemed to shut her up on the subject. She gave me a brief look before starting a new conversation about the amazing coffee shop Stefan and she went to. I nodded and agreed at the right times but I was still not fully there. I told myself not to get my hopes up but somewhere in the back of my mind there was an indestructible amount optimism that didn't seem to give up no matter what happened.

Once our food came I sat back and listened to the conversation and watched Damon. I wasn't following along much and it wasn't till Caroline and Stefan excused themselves to go play a game of pool, did Damon speak to me.

"You tired?" He asked, not actually looking in my direction which suddenly filled the moment with tension.

"I didn't get much sleep last night."

"Looks like we both could use a nap."

"Are you doing okay? You need anything?" I immediately went into worry mode, for a moment I almost forgot.

"I'm fine, just tired," the awkwardness didn't leave and I didn't expect it to until somewhat brought up the inevitable.

"About what Caroline said before-"

"What, that Mrs. Flowers has the best coffee anyone has ever tasted? Yea, I already knew it."

"I won't bring it up again," I whispered, knowing that it was his own way of asking me not to. Clearly he regretted it.

"What, were you talking about the kiss? Wait, you didn't think…"

"No, no of course not." I added quickly, hoping he didn't see how hard I was trying to keep myself sounding nonchalant.

"Cause that would be…"

"Weird." I added.

"And just wrong," Go ahead, rub in why don't you. "I mean, it's not like we wouldn't be the best power couple ever though," he added with a grin.

"Yea, we'd be great."

"But we just weren't-"

"Meant to be," I finished for him and somehow I couldn't hide the disappointment in my voice but luckily he didn't comment on it. Those words would haunt me if I actually let him finish them.

"I think I'm going to go home and take that nap," I stood up, knowing that at this exact moment I needed to get away.

"Here take my car. I'll get a ride home with Stefan," he tossed his keys to me. "Just bring it back later tonight."

"Want me to pick up your prescription on the way?"

"Sure."

"I'll you bring you dinner too. See you then."

I did a half wave to Caroline and Stefan and headed towards the door, desperately trying to leave before someone noticed the unshed tears that were collecting in my eyes. I just needed sometime alone to process what just happened. I was never going to forget that conversation. It was the first time that he has ever confirmed that there will never be anything between us.

The whole way to Jenna's consisted of tears and Barry Manilow.

_**AN: Thanks for reading. I actually had a really hard time writing this and I don't really know why. But I hope you liked it and I'm sorry it's short. **_

_**So I was watching the show on MTV called friendzone. That show can be sooo depressing! And for some reason while I was writing the end of this chapter that's all I could think of. I wasn't going to write it like that at all, it was actually going to be the exact opposite. So you can blame that show for this… not me. **_

_**Review! **_


	17. Ill never love again if I can't have you

_**All my life, my heart has yearned for a thing I cannot name.  
><span>Andre Breton<span>**_

_**Damon POV**_

The moment Elena walked out of the Grill I felt intense eyes on me. I slowly scanned the room to find the little blonde trying to burn a hole through me with that stare.

"What the hell was that?" Her glare never flattered as she stomped on over to the table. I did my best not to show the fact that I may or may not have flinched. When did she become…scary? "I am so sick and tired of you hurting that girl!"

"What are talking-"

"No, don't even try to say you don't know what I'm talking about," Her attitude wasn't the only thing that caught me off guard, but the subject matter. "I admit, I may have put my foot in my mouth back there, but that doesn't give you a reason to be a first rate jackass."

"Why am I being a jackass?"

"Did you not just see the way Elena just walked out of here?"

"She said she was tired," Did I miss something? She seemed perfectly fine.

"Men," she mumbled under her breath with an eye roll. "Whatever you just did a few seconds ago, hurt her. I am done letting you hurt her. You need to fix this now. And listen if you don't make up your mind and stop dragging her along, you are going to lose her for good. I mean, goodbye kiss my ass. Will you just open your eyes?"

"You've really lost me," I did my best follow along but when talking to Caroline it felt next to impossible.

"We both know there is something there, I'm tired of you playing stupid. Just think of one good reason why she would be feeling bad right now, and fix it," I could think of a few. Was she really upset? Was this my fault? She was never supposed to know about my condition, but is that all? Does she already miss home? Does she feel obligated to stay here? Will she resent me? Am I taking away her future?

All these questions were running through my head and I already felt a migraine coming on.

"Just spit it out in clear words, Caroline."

"You already know. We both know back in high school you weren't as oblivious as everyone made you out to be," Now I felt uncomfortable. She was getting on a subject she knew absolutely nothing about.

"Stop, Caroline! Just stop."

"You wanted me to tell you."

"Listen, you know nothing. So it's in your best interest to just stop putting your nose in my business," I said sternly, trying to get my point across.

"Elena is my business. I care about her and I know you do too. You knew how she felt back then and you know now. Stop being such a coward."

"I'm done with this conversation," I knew at this moment I was going to slip up. I was going to yell at her that I could never be enough for Elena. Not now. She didn't understand that there was no way I was going to let Elena feel that way about me. I wasn't going to throw away her life the way everyone just expects me to. She deserved more, and I'm dead set on making sure of that.

"Fine, but we both know I'm right."

"I'm going to get some air." I got up away from her before she could start talking again. I quickly rushed outside, desperate for some air but the suffocating feeling never went away.

"Damon?" Great, just great, when running away from one problem I ran right into the next. "How long have you been back? How are you doing? I've been so worried!"

"Katherine," I shifted awkwardly, trying to come up with an excuse to escape. Before I had a chance to even open my mouth again, thin but strong arms wrapped around me; hugging me tight.

"Sorry, sorry!" She quickly let go and backed up a few spaces. "You're probably still not quite happy to see me."

"Not exactly," I didn't try to hide my bitter tone.

"So when did you come back?" She asked, purposely ignoring my harsh attitude.

"I flew in yesterday."

"Oh," A smile lit up her face as if the fact that I just got into town didn't mean I was doing everything I possibly could to avoid her. "Do you think we could maybe have dinner sometime? There are so many things I want to talk to you about."

"I don't know Katherine; I don't think it's the best idea."

"Please, just give me another chance? I'd really love to just… talk."

"We are talking."

"You know what I mean," She said with a frown. "We both need some closure."

"I got all my closure the moment you kicked me out of our house."

"Could you blame me Damon? You suddenly quit your job, you were sneaking around, and you didn't even touch me for months. I thought you were cheating on me. Can you seriously stand here and say you have no idea why I ended it?"

"You could have at least asked me before you just assumed."

"And you should have told me the truth!" She yelled, catching the attention of a few others.

"This isn't the place or the time."

"That's why we need to talk. Can't you give me that? You owe it to me."

"I don't owe you anything."

"Just please…" She said again and maybe for once I actually saw her being genuine and she truly felt bad, but that didn't change anything.

"Listen I don't want to do this right now and I got to go; maybe I'll see you around." She nodded in defeat as I started walking in the other direction, having no were to go, just away from her.

* * *

><p>"I'm bored," I started whining the moment Elena stepped through the door of the Boarding house. "Can we go out, drink, dance, or something!"<p>

"Are you saying I'm boring?" She asked and I accomplished to pull off a dramatic eye roll, even putting my whole body into it. "What's this?" She grabbed the cookie out of my hand, claiming it as her own.

"Caroline's baking. I didn't know if they were edible so I thought I'd wait for you."

"Hey, Caroline! Will I get food poisoning if I eat this?" She walked in the kitchen as I followed to find Stefan sitting on the counter along with Caroline. All she got was the same cold glare that I received earlier today.

"Just try it."

"Wow, these are actually good," She let a moan escape as the tip of her finger lightly grazed her lips and I had to tell myself to bite back my own moan. Since when did these little things affect me? I used to have much more control. "A lot better than the time you forgot sugar."

"Hey, it was a long day!"

"Is there something on my face?" Elena asked in my direction and I suddenly realized I was still intently staring at her mouth.

"No," I quickly answered. "Just… day dreaming."

"About me, of course," She gave a mischievous smile that I couldn't help but return.

"Who else would I fantasize about?"

"Do you guys mind flirting in the other room? You're in my way," Caroline shooed us out of the kitchen with a spatula after the timer on the oven went off.

"She takes her baking seriously," Elena mumbled while flopping down on the couch, finishing my cookie.

"So how was your nap?" I asked as I sat down next to her.

"Nonexistent. I tried to fall asleep but my brain wouldn't let me."

"I know the feeling."

"So what's wrong?" She asked after a moment of silence.

"What makes you think anything is wrong?" If you asked me I thought I was doing pretty good at hiding what was all bothering me, but apparently I wasn't.

"First of all you suggested drinking and dancing, which is your pre-alcoholism flaring up again. Second, you've had this little frown on your face that you get whenever something is bothering you."

"I frown?"

"It's a cute frown," She shrugged.

"I ran into Katherine," I rushed out. It was one of the main things that were bothering me, but I didn't have the guts to mention the other quite yet.

"And…"

"And she wants to get dinner. She said she wants to talk."

"Oh," She whispered.

"I told her I didn't think it was a good idea but then she started to get teary eyed and I felt bad."

"So then you accepted?"

"No, I quickly ran away."

"Good."

"What? I thought for sure you'd lecture me on giving her another chance."

"You know I hate Katherine," She said with a pointed look. "I'm glad you are finally detaching yourself from her. Now what else is bothering you? I know there is more to it."

"Do you know Katherine used to believe that you had a crush on me? That's why she didn't like us hanging out."

"I guess nobody understood our relationship back then. All my boyfriends were jealous of you, you know that."

"So you are saying that it's all just speculation?"

"What do you think?" It was meant to be sarcastic but deep down I could see it in her eyes that she wanted to know.

"Did you like me back then?" I asked while surprising myself and obviously her as all she did was start mumbling words that didn't make sense. Every part of me was screaming to stop but I just couldn't help myself.

"Why would you ask me that?"

"Something Caroline said earlier today."

"You should know better than to listen to her," The brighter her cheeks got the more she gave herself away as she couldn't even look me in the eye.

"Oh my god, it's true. You liked me! Oh this is just great."

"Just... shut up." She said while punching my shoulder with her eyes still cast in the other direction.

"Well, who could really blame you?"

"You knew, didn't you?" Now she was the one who caught me off guard. Did I know all along? Was I just lying to myself? "I always secretly knew you did," She buried her face in her hands, trying to hide the embarrassment.

"Please just stop looking at me that way," She whispered and at that moment I stopped joking around, noticing how upset she really was.

"Stop being so embarrassed," I attempted to pry her hands away from her face, which was harder than I would admit.

"I was just going through a phase," She defended herself. "And being a teenage girl, feelings come and go in the blink of an eye."

"So that's how quick it was?"

"It was faster than that, I swear. Don't think I was like creeping through our whole friendship!" I couldn't hold back my laughter anymore. She was actually concerned that this would change things.

"Why couldn't you just tell me?"

"Please, you are the last person who I was ever going to tell. It was bad enough having Stefan know."

"Stefan knew! Is that why he always makes things weird? The whole time he was messing with you? Oh this just keeps getting better."

"Stop laughing! And stop acting like this is the best thing you've ever heard!"

"It is! My ego has just gone up a notch."

"Oh great, that's just what you need."

"Well apparently you liked my big ego."

"And you wonder why I didn't tell you?" She said while shaking her head. "I can't believe Caroline told you."

"You kind of gave yourself away."

"Well I'm just going to go die of embarrassment," She sat up the couch, almost escaping before I wrapped my arms around her waist, forcing her back down on the couch and onto my lap. She tried her best to get out of my grip, but it didn't work.

"What if that forbidden girl found out you liked her, wouldn't you be embarrassed?"

"Maybe, but it's me we are talking about. You're not supposed to be embarrassed around me and you're not supposed to hide things from me."

"Like you haven't hidden many things from me?"

"Nope."

"You're lying." The moment she said that my mind flew instantly back to when we were eating lunch.

"Maybe."

"What was it?" She shifted in my arms so that she could see me. Her face held a small frown and she looked at me confused.

"It wasn't a goodbye kiss," A small smile replaced the frown as her eyes connected with mine. I didn't realize how close we were right until this moment, as the opportunity to kiss her again was just a few inches away.

"Really?" She asked and if I didn't know better I detected a bit of hope in her voice. My eyes flickered towards her tempting lips and I could hear her breath hitch in realization.

"Hey, do you guys want to watch this movie with Stefan and I?" Caroline came barging into the living room, shocking us both. I immediately unwrapped my arms around Elena's waist as she climbed on over to the other side of the couch, clearly distancing herself from me. I looked anywhere but at her as I nodded to Caroline.

"Sure," I mumbled. Why did I almost just do that? My self-control was clearly dwindling.

_**AN: Sooooo I only have a few chapter left I hate ending stories. But I hope you guys liked this chapter. **_

_**Review! **_


	18. Heaven is a place on earth with you

_**Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.  
><strong>__**Emily Bronte**_

_**Elena Pov **_  
>The little nagging voice that always seemed to hold me back didn't make its annual appearance today. In fact a strange sense of confidence lingered while I drove with Damon towards Giuseppe's office. Things felt good. I felt good. For once maybe I was finally going through the right motions when it came to Damon. And with this new feeling I felt more like myself and I could see the positive sides again. I felt like I had a new duty to bring that back into my life. I was never one to be a cynic and I wasn't going to start now. There was a great possibility that Damon could make it through his sickness and now I was starting to believe that there was a possibility that maybe in a little time, we could maybe be something. The best part was that with all the outcomes I could see happening, none of them seemed so bad as long as Damon was around.<p>

This morning I had woken up and I just knew that things had to change. Damon had been in town for a few days and he owed it to himself and his father to finally put their past behind them. Even though Damon and Giuseppe never had a great relationship, I could see it was starting to take a toll on Damon. He was constantly paranoid he'd run into Giuseppe anywhere he went, and I thought that it was about time to change this. And there was no way I could agree with Giuseppe completely cutting off his son emotionally for his life decisions but I believed that Damon owed his father an explanation as to why he just up and left.

"I still can't believe you are making me go with you. He's... scary," I claimed while looking out my window. I knew deep down that if I didn't come then no one would be there to drag him out of the car but truth was, that last thing I wanted to do was be in the middle of more drama. When I told him it was about time he cleared things up, I expected a detached reaction and immediate decline, not a demand that I come with. I was now coming to the conclusion that like a child, I was going to have to pry him from the vehicle once we reached the building. He didn't put up much of a fight so that obviously meant that once we got there, he was going to refuse to face this. I just know it's going to happen.

"That's exactly why I need you with me. Besides, he likes you. In fact he'll probably be happy to see you are back in town. I'm the one who should be nervous right now," We pulled up to a familiar building that I remember going to as a child from time to time with Damon before his father had started working and living in New York after Damon's mom died. Apparently he had moved back and it was strange to imagine that Damon was now, or I should say used to work in this building.

"Damon are you okay?" I was too lost in the building and old memories to notice until now the slight frown on Damon's face. At first I thought it was about his father but it seemed more like discomfort. "Is something wrong? Are you having chest pain? Are you dizzy?" The questions fired out as he rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"I'm fine, Elena," Why are men so stubborn when it comes to admitting they're in pain? "I don't think this was a good idea," I was waiting for this.

"Damon, you know you have to do this. You want to get your job back, right? I mean how else are you going to be paying for that heart?"

"Elena, I know you pride yourself on being Miss Optimistic but face it, I'm not getting a heart, this whole conversation with my father will be pointless. I don't want to work to my death," he said and I noticed the familiar aggravation that usually came from him whenever someone pushed him into something he didn't want to do.

"Stop talking like that, you know it makes me mad when you say things like that," I bit back my own anger, trying to think positive thoughts.

"It's not like I'm going to tell him I'm sick anyway," he shook his head and turned the car back on, but before he had the chance to put the car in drive I grabbed the keys out of the ignition and held them away from Damon.

"Damon! That's the whole reason why I wanted you to come here today. What do you mean you're not going to tell him?" I asked, now equally frustrated with the situation.

"Give me my keys," he didn't even look in my direction as he attempted to control his anger that always seemed to get the best of him.

"Damon you can't do this, he is family! The last words I told my parents was that I hated them all because they grounded me for getting so drunk at that stupid party and in a flash that wasn't even important anymore. Stop being so selfish."

"I'm not being selfish!" He snapped and turned towards me. "Elena do you remember how my mom was here one day and the next she was suddenly gone. No signs, no symptoms, she was just gone? And we had no explanation as to why her heart just stopped beating?" I stared at him with wide eyes, not expecting this turn in the conversation. "I have the same thing she did, Elena. Now I have to go in there and tell him that another person in his family is going to die from this? And the fact that I don't want him to know, makes me selfish?"

I stared back at him silence, not knowing what to say or make of the situation. I couldn't even tell if it was actually his father he was looking out for or himself. I didn't think he wanted to face the reality of the situation, that what happened to his mom could happen to him. I've heard about sudden death syndrome with people who have a heart disease, I just never expected the possibility that it could happen to Damon. But obviously... this seemed to be a fear of his. And again, I didn't know if he was trying to protect his father or himself. Because once it's out there, it becomes real. I off all people know that feeling.

"Fine, we don't have to go in today," I handed him back the keys, making eye contact. "But one day Damon, you're going to have to finally accept it."

"Let's just go home."

* * *

><p>"Sorry I snapped at you back there," he said while closing the door to the boarding house.<p>

"It's fine, I'm Damon proof by now," I cast a glance a him after all there was was silence and no witty remark or sarcastic response. "What's wrong with you? You're not acting like yourself. It's scaring me. "

"Sorry."

"Stop doing that," I said while slapping his arm. "Apologizing like this is not the Damon I know." It was then that I got a closer look at him to notice that he had a somewhat green tint to him. "Are you sick?" And here I thought the green thing was a myth.

"A side effect from my medication is that I get nauseous."

"Why didn't you say something?" I ushered him over to the couch and forced him to lay down, with somewhat of difficulty. He was always trying to fight any help. I went into the kitchen and got a glass of water for him and found a bucket and put a few plastic bags in it, just in case. "We can have lazy day. Do you want to watch a movie or something?" I asked when I returned to the living room, placing the bucket near the end of the couch and handing him the glass of water.

"As long as I don't have to do anything."

For a few minutes after finding every blanket in the house, I cuddled up on the opposite end of the couch and went through the channels, trying to find a movie we'd both like. "Oh, I wanted to see this one." I referred to the new movie that just came out which had your classic friends with benefits plot. I pondered over it and thought maybe that movie wouldn't be the best and the label itself just clarified there would be awkward moments. The last thing I wanted to do was watch an abundant amount of sex scenes between two best friends while sitting next to my best friend when there was some sort of... tension, between us. "Maybe something else," I said more to myself and continued to look through the movies.

"That movie is so predictable."

"You think?"

"Yea, I can guarantee that they start out as friends, have sex, fight and stop having sex and then get together at the end and have more sex." I couldn't help but laugh little, knowing that it probably went exactly like that.

"Would you ever do the whole friends with benefits thing?" I asked, very curious of his answer.

"Maybe, depends on the person."

"So you and Alaric never tested the boundaries?" I joked only to receive a glare. "So what would be the right situation for you hook up with a friend?"

"Are you trying to get into pants?" He peered at me with fake suspicion.

"What if I was?"

"Well, you know I'm okay with it." He smirked at me and I felt the need to look anywhere but at him. "And it's not like I didn't already know it, it's clear you are obsessed with me."

"Oh really? Well if I recall no too long ago you were the one who kissed me."

"And I remember you liking it." He shot back without missing a beat.

I smiled back at him for a few moments before breaking the flirtatious banter. "You know, normal friends just don't go around kissing each other."

"You know we aren't normal." I watched his smile slowly fade as the topic became more serious. "We both know there is something... unexplained between us."

"I haven't been quite honest to you about a few things." I slid down the couch, towards him and sat only a few inches away. "And I've been battling with myself whether or not to just get it out there and tell you the truth." I didn't know why I was doing it but the voice that once shot down all my hopes was now urging me on to finally get this over with.

"I feel nervous? Should I feel nervous?" I chucked a little bit at Damon's reaction and shook my head.

"I'm thinking about moving back here."

"Elena, you're not doing that. You have school, an apartment, and you have Matt." I rolled my eyes and quickly stopped him from talking anymore. None of those things were important, especially Matt.

"Damon...," I hesitated for a moment, only forcing myself to just get it out. "It's never been Matt. It will never be him."

"What are you talking about?" His attitude scared me a bit, it was not shock or confusion it was more like alarm, as if something clicked he quickly added, "Elena, please don't do this."

I ignored him, knowing that this was the only time I'd be able to get it out."We both know back in high school you desperately tried to ignore it. We both know you weren't as oblivious as everyone made you out to be. You were just a better faker than I could ever be." The vulnerability of basically telling him that my happiness had depended on him was seeping through. And for once I wasn't desperate to hide it. He started looking anywhere but me with his mouth slightly open as if he couldn't actually put the pieces together. "I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember and that's not going to change, you should know that."

His face held no emotion as he suddenly was leaning over the edge of the couch, emptying the contents of his stomach right into the bucket I had brought him before. I cringed and sat there, frozen at what exactly I had just caused.

"Did you really just say what I think you just said?" He whispered, still leaning over the bucket.

"Did you seriously just puke because of it?" He looked at me with the most horrified expression, and the regret immediately sunk in. Did I just make a huge mistake?

**_Review!_**


	19. Is this really happening to me

**_Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable.  
>- The Wizard of Oz<em>**

"Oh, I get it. This is a joke, right? You really had me there for a moment." Damon's hand went to his chest as if he was suppressing his laughter while I sat there, still speechless of after the whole ordeal. I've never been one to be impulsive. Everything had to perfect, there was no room in my life for screwed up moments of bad judgment. Why did that have to change at this very moment?

Damon was still laughing to himself when I slowly rose from the couch, not being able to bear being here anymore. I felt every bone in my body screaming at me to run and never look back. This was all a mistake. Coming back to Mystic Falls was a mistake. What did I expect? Did I really think anything would be different? Nothing changed. God, I'm so stupid!

"This isn't a joke, Damon!"

"Where are you going?" He asked confused as I grabbed my bag off the coffee table and started heading towards the door. I didn't get very far before I was being pulled back with more force than Damon should be able to muster in his state. "I don't understand."

"Of course you don't," I hissed with my eyes glued on the door that was just out of my reach. I turned back to him, slightly petrified but still frustrated with the situation. "Can't you take something serious for once in your life?" I attempted to wiggle free and leave but his gripped tightened.

"No, you're not leaving after that," He grunted out, working up his own anger to match mine. "Just explain this to me! Enlighten me on what I'm not taking seriously."

"Let me go!"

"I don't understand what you are trying to say. Sometimes, you have to realize that I can't read your mind."

"I just bared everything to you, Damon! Are you in denial? Is that it? Can't you just accept that I love you instead of trying to bury it and act like my feeling don't exist! Please, reject me, tell me I'm stupid for wanting something more, anything! It would be so much easier than this."

"You were supposed to get over it. You loving me, will ruin everything!"

"I am sorry that I messed up you perfect picture! Just let me go and spare me the embarrassment." I tugged away again, still with no result.

"Why would you want to love me anyway? You know what kind of person I am. You can't feel that way about me."

"What are you trying to do, change my mind?"

"I care about you. More than any person in this world, I'm not... good. You deserve someone else, someone who is good for you. Not me."

I sighed and looked anywhere but him. I couldn't find the perfect words to describe the whirlwind of emotion inside me. "I tried so hard to get over it. I did. And after Katherine, I gave up... I admit it, I ran away before. I left you because I couldn't do it anymore. It destroyed me and I'm done living in this world pretending that the things you do don't hurt me."

"I screw up everything I touch. My love is painful. The last thing you want is me loving you."

"I've been through pain, you're the one thing in my life that's good. Don't use that as an excuse. Just be honest with me."

After a long moment of silence, he finally spoke again. " I want better for you. Don't you get that? I know, there is something between us. We have something that no one else can replace, but me being sick, ruins everything we could ever have had together."

"It' doesn't have to be this way Damon." I stepped forward, taking away the distance between us and grabbed a hold of his hands.

"Stop making this so hard on me!" He yelled, clearly annoyed with me. "Can't you see that I don't want to do this to you?"

"Then don't." I begged.

"I can never be what you want me to be."

"You don't have to be anyone else but you. I want you! With all your flaws and all you imperfections! Those are what I love the most."

"I can't let you love me. I just can't."

"It's a little late for that. Please, just accept it." I so badly wanted to beg him to just love me back.

"It's the most selfish thing I could do."

"So be selfish! Please!"

"Don't you get it Elena? How many times do I have to spell it out for you? I don't want to be with you!" I gasped and I flinched away from him as he just slapped me across the face. The few silent seconds after his words were earth shattering and I knew that the pieces would never be fully put back in place.

"Fine. I'll go back to California. But the moment I leave, I'm no longer going to wait for you."

"Elena, please just leave me behind. It's what's for the best."

"Screw you, Damon!" I said over my shoulder as I practically ran out the door, slamming it behind me. The moment fresh air hit me, so did the realization hat I was crying. I never thought I could feel so broken. It was never supposed to be this way. I thought we could be happy together.

I should have known that the moment I let Damon into my life, he was only going to break my heart.

* * *

><p><strong>Damon Pov<strong>  
>My hands searched for something to do. After brushing my teeth for longer than necessary, straightening up the bathroom drawers and rearranging shampoo bottles, I was in desperate need for a distraction even though my body was begging myself to get some rest. The last thing I wanted to do was think. Think about what had happened earlier today. I knew I did the right thing. I had to do it. It was harder than I ever imagined.<p>

How could she love me? A girl like that should never even give me a second look. I wasn't even close to being worthy of her love. How could she not see that? I wasn't good for her. Me being her friend was probably damaging enough. She'll realize it one day. She'll really see how much of a screw up I am and she'll find someone else. Someone who could give her the world; not take it away.

The doorbell rang, breaking me out of the thoughts that I was trying to forget about.

Distraction. Distraction. Distraction.

I went down the stairs, taking my time, praying it wasn't Elena. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her even more. There I was again! Letting my thoughts stray to Elena.

I opened the door, already expecting it to be here but nearly fell over at who was standing at my doorstep.

"Hey, Damon." Katherine said, standing on my door step with an innocent smile.

Distraction.

* * *

><p><strong>Elena Pov<br>**By the time I got home it was already dark out. The moment I went through the door I was ambushed by Caroline.

"How could you do that? When were you even going to tell me?"

"Caroline, I don't know what you're talking about and I really am not in the mood right now," I tried pushing past her but she blocked me before I had a chance to reach the stairs.

"Why didn't you tell me you put in to transfer to a university in Roanoke? You're doing it for him, aren't you? This is not healthy Elena! You get that right? One moment you are saying he'll never feel that way about you and now you are here. Do you see what you're doing to yourself? I can't watch you go through it anymore! This is a big decision and when you are around Damon you don't see further consequences." You're telling me...

"Please just stop!" I yelled, my voice breaking a bit. In that moment she looked me up and down as if it suddenly all clicked.

"What happened?" She rushed over to me, automatically wrapping me in her arms.

"I told him." She squeezed harder not asking anymore questions.

"He doesn't know what he's missing out on."

My night was spent in silence as my brain shut out any other noise. Damon's words were stuck in my memory and they failed to give me a break from the constant heartache and regret that I was feeling. I crawled into my bed, in the place I'd spent night awake hoping one day I'd be able to have everything I'd ever wanted. Now it turned into the place where I'd mourn the death of a friendship.

My phone repeatedly buzzed from my purse that had been tossed aside hours ago. I didn't have the energy to get up and get it but somehow I found myself shuffling forward to answer it.

"Hello?" I mumbled into the phone.

"Elena? It's Stefan."

"What do you want?" I didn't care that I was being rude, I didn't want to deal with anyone right now.

"I figured you'd want to know that Damon-"

"I don't want to hear anything about Damon." I cut him off, almost furious that Stefan would even mention his name. He must have already heard about today from Damon or even Caroline. I didn't need to hear anything more about him.

"Elena you don't understand."

"I don't really want to hear you defend him right now Stefan so if you don't mind I'm going to go." I went to hang up the phone but stopped when I heard Stefan's desperate plea not to.

"Damon's on his way to the hospital, Elena. I thought you should know."

"What?" I whispered. Our argument ran through my head and all my worst fears played out in my head as I dropped the phone. This could not be happening to me.

_**AN: Sorry this was super short! I wanted to add more but I decided to wait till next chapter which may be the last. I'm not sure yet. Thanks for reading:)**_

_**Review! **_


	20. You're the only one I belong to

"_**Love is friendship set on fire."  
>-Jeremy Taylor <strong>_

_**Elena POV  
><strong>_I awoke with a jump after hearing a door slam and immediately took in my surroundings. It was dark outside but the weak florescent light in the room lit it enough to remind me exactly where I was. I glanced over to my right to see Damon fast asleep with a small frown etched onto his features. I couldn't tell if it was from an unsettling dream or just the toll from the long day before taking its affect.

It had to be close to the end of visiting hours and I was sure the moment someone saw me, I'd be told just that. I didn't care what anyone had to say, I wasn't leaving this room. Ever since I had gotten that phone call from Stefan I've been in panic mode. I rushed to the hospital needing details right at that moment only to come face to face with no other than Katherine Pierce. The shock and anger all hit me at once. I had no idea what she was doing here.

What was even worse than running into the devil herself; was having to wait nearly an hour in the waiting room before Stefan had arrived. They wouldn't give me any information. At the time, for all I knew Damon could have a bad splinter or he could've been flat-lining on an operation table. It was a bittersweet moment when Stefan did arrive to fill me in. Apparently Damon had fainted when he was with Katherine. I cast a glance in her direction to see her biting her nails on the other end the waiting room. After talking to the doctor he explained that the abnormal heart rhythms can cause fainting… and it was also the cause for sudden death; Damon's worst fear.

And that's how I got here, waiting for him to wake up. I knew it would be awkward when he did and I wasn't quite sure whether or not he would be happy to see me. I just couldn't let my last words to him be "screw you". I should have known better not to say anything. I should have just held my tongue. The moment was too good to be true. I didn't honestly think he would confess his undying love for me, but it felt right at that time. All the moments of lingering touches and intense eye contact just led me to believe that maybe, just maybe things would finally fall in place and everything that I've hoped for, for so long would actually come true.

I can't worry about that now. My number one priority was Damon; not me. I can't let myself be selfish. And I have to fix things. I couldn't let him… I couldn't let him die thinking things weren't okay between us. I'd regret that forever.

"What are you doing here?" I felt my heart literality pick up speed as my attention snapped back into reality as Damon's eyes didn't even have to open to know I was there with him. I quickly wiped the tears that had been falling away and put on my best smile.

"Hello sleeping beauty," I leaned back in my chair, frowning at the way my voice cracked.

Were things going to be weird between us? Would we pretend that my embarrassing 'I love you' speech never happened?

"I could say the same to you. Have a nice nap?" I furrowed my brow and his eyes opened with a smirk plastered on his face. "You snore," he said, answering my unspoken question.

"I do not! Do I?" He chuckled at my seriousness, breaking the tension before it could begin. "How are you feeling?" I asked immediately after the remembering the situation.

"Embarrassed and tired. How long have I been sleeping?" I glanced at the clock on the wall and was shocked for how long we both have been out for.

"A couple hours, you needed it though. Your doctor has stressed that when you are exhausted you need to rest. You have to stop pushing yourself."

"Well they say I need light exercise. I was just following orders," he said, trying to pull off his normal attitude but wasn't quite working.

"What were you doing when you fainted?" I asked, knowing I didn't want the answer but needed to hear it; the actual words coming from his mouth that the first person he went to after I left was Katherine.

Instead of responding right away his eyes bore into the white wall across from the hospital bed. I wanted to know so badly what he was thinking but his expression was emotionless.

"I was…," he let out a humorless laugh at himself and shook his head. "I was going up the stairs."

Moments later his laughing abruptly stopped and the grimace his laughter was covering up escaped through. "I can't even walk up the stairs now!" His voice rose with anger seeping through. "I can't do anything without ending up in a fucking hospital!"

"Damon," I tried to find the perfect words to calm him down before he worked himself up even more. "It's okay to be scared."

"I'm not scared, I'm angry."

I let him continue his rant, knowing he needed to get this off his chest for awhile now.

"What's the point of it all? I don't want to live like this anymore! I'm tired of hospital visits! I'm tired of putting the people I love through hell because I can't do anything about it!"

"Things will get better. One day it will be normal again, I promise. I'm not leaving your side till you see that."

"Don't you get it Elena? This is the rest of my life; waking up in hospitals, being tired, slowly dying, that's what I got to look forward to! And if you stay with me, it will be your life too."

I wanted to do something. I wanted to fix it. I would do anything to take the pain away.

"I don't want to be sick anymore." He whispered while glancing around the room, not used to being so vulnerable.

"I'm so sorry Damon." Grabbing his hand, I held on tight, suppressing my own tears. "I wish I could fix this. I don't know why it's happening."

"Maybe if I was better; better to you, better to everyone in my life, this wouldn't have happened. Do I deserve this?"

"No one deserves this Damon!"

"If I could go back, I would change everything. I wouldn't hurt you every chance I got. You need to go back to California before I take all your happiness away."

"I don't remember that last time I was happy Damon."

"Maybe you would be if you didn't shy away every chance you get to be happy with someone."

"That's not my fault. I can't force myself to feel something for someone when it's not there." Sudden realization hit me on how much of hypocrite I was being. "And I shouldn't have been surprised that you can't do the same." A look of bewilderment crossed his face.

"Can't you see that if I had it my way... I wouldn't have to say no to you. You are forbidden." His eyes connected with mine and my face fell. Wait a minute...

I sat there in shock about what Damon may have just revealed but my attention was pulled away from the thought to who was lightly knocking on the door.

"Giuseppe? Stefan?" I gasped in disbelief.

"Hello Elena," Giuseppe kindly smiled at me as I was desperately trying to put the pieces together on why he was here. His smile seemed weak and I sensed that under all his professionalism he was upset. "What a surprise it is to see you after all these years."

"What are you doing here?" Damon spoke up in a much harsher tone than when he asked me the same question. "You shouldn't be here."

"I should give you time to talk." I went to stand up but the grip Damon had on my hand tightened, keeping me in place.

"I'm sorry Damon, but he had to know," Stefan apologized seeming guilty yet not regretful.

"It was foolish of you not to come to me earlier," Giuseppe said while sitting down in the chair across from me on the other side of the bed while Stefan stood back in the doorway. It didn't feel right to be intruding on their moment but I knew Damon wasn't going to let me go. He couldn't face it before and now suddenly he was being forced into it.

"I didn't want you to know."

"Still that doesn't mean you shouldn't have told me. We could have worked something out so that you didn't have to quit and throw away everything we have worked so hard for."

"Of course that is the first thing you would think of. I'm sorry but at this moment, work isn't what's important to me!" Damon yelled and I felt my hand go numb from his strength that only seemed to return to him when he was angry.

"I understand that." Giuseppe said after taking a deep breath that I assumed was to calm him down. "I also understand that because you couldn't tell me about your condition, means I failed you in being the right kind of father. Your mother would have been so disappointed in me if she were here to see that you couldn't come to me with this."

"I already lost your mother to this; I'm not going to lose you." He continued as he stood up from the chair. "You will be getting a transplant."

"Don't do something stupid," Damon said, knowing he has connections in all places.

"Don't worry about me Damon," And with that Giuseppe walked past Stefan and out the room, leaving a mist of confusion behind him, his words still lingering.

"What are you thinking?" I asked Damon after a minute of silence.

"I'm thinking he couldn't wait to get out of here. He just wanted to get out his apology so he wouldn't feel guilty. Don't listen to a thing he says."

"I had to tell him Damon," Stefan sat down in the seat Giuseppe was sitting in moments ago. "I thought he could help… somehow."

"You thought wrong. That was a mistake."

"Listen, I was talking to Katherine and she convinced me-"

"Why were you talking to Katherine?" Damon interrupted.

"We were in the waiting room together today. Didn't she go home?" I asked.

"She's back and I don't think she plans on leaving. No matter what I say she is determined to talk to you," Stefan shrugged while seeming annoyed.

"Do not let her in here! She's going to want to talk about things I really don't want to talk about."

"What things?" Stefan quirked an eyebrow at him while I watched his reaction.

"Stefan, didn't you just hear what I said?"

"Fine, I will go get rid of her." He stood up and went towards the door. "I'll be back tomorrow in the morning to take you home."

"I'm exhausted," I said while yawning and adjusting in my chair to get more comfortable. Without saying a word he scooted over and lifted up the side of the blanket near me.

"Come on." He said and I crawled onto the bed next to him, having so many questions but not having the right words to ask them.

"So you were with Katherine for the rest of the day, huh?"

"She came over."

"Do you still love her?" I curled up next to him and leaned on his shoulder, letting my insecurities get the best of me.

"I don't know if love is the right word for whatever Katherine and I had. It's going to be awkward now because…" I watched as he searched for the right words. "I just didn't want to be with her. I thought I could convince myself that it would be easy to just be my old self. I can't jump into things and be emotionally detached like before."

"Like before you got sick," I stated.

"No, like before you came back into my life." I took a deep breath, filling with hope.

"What you said before; the girl you've been falling for, were you talking about me?"

"It doesn't matter," He said awkwardly.

"It matters to me."

"If I wasn't sick, it would be different." He intertwined our hand and looked down at me, which made my whole body tingle. "Our relationship would be different."

"What's it going to take to convince you that I don't care that you are sick? I don't want that to hold anything back," I whispered.

"It's been a long day. Can we have this talk later?"

"You should get some more rest," I mumbled while looking down at our entwined fingers. I gently placed a kiss on the back of his hand that was entangled with mine and for a moment he shuddered.

"I lied when I said I wouldn't wait anymore. I'll always be waiting." I inched closer to him, taking away the already short amount of space between us.

"Hopefully you'll change you mind. It's for the best." I rolled my eyes and leaned in, briefly resting my lips against his. And if I wasn't mistaken, for a moment there was a speck of a response.

"Not a chance."

_**AN: I know, I know. It took way too long to update. I think next chapter could be the end but I'm not promising anything because lately I've changed my mind a thousand times for this story, you have no idea. But thanks for reading and holding in there. I really have no idea how some people are able to update a few times a week with really long chapters because I could never do that. But I'll try to update faster : )**_

_**Review!**_


	21. Please don't take my sunshine away

_**"I love her and that's the beginning and end of everything."  
><strong>__**F. Scott Fitzgerald**_

_**Elena POV**_

Taking a deep breath, I sat down at the Grill across from Caroline, trying to let the stress of the past few weeks escape me but it didn't seem likely. After Damon's trip to the hospital, practically the whole town knew something was wrong. There were a few bold people who asked Damon straight out and there were a few with sympathetic glances that I still couldn't quite get used to. I had only lived outside of this small town for a few years yet it still surprised me how fast word spread and how nosey everyone was.

"So where are we starting your apartment hunting?"

"There's only a few around here but after this I was thinking we could go check out this one that's really close to the boarding house. I want to be as close as possible to Damon."

"Do you plan on finding the one today?"

"The sooner the better, I just want to be all settled in already."

The bell on the doors of the Grill rang and unconsciously I glanced over to them.

"Who are we looking at?" Caroline turned in her seat to see who I was staring at.

"Don't do that!" I brought her attention back to me. "You're so obvious."

"I hope you weren't checking him out. Yes, he's attractive for an old guy but Elena, that's just weird."

"Don't be ridiculous," I said, laughing it off. "That's Giuseppe."

"As in papa Salvatore?" She turned back to look at him. "Are they all good looking?"

I blocked out Caroline and glanced back at Giuseppe. He was the reasons for most of my stress at the moment. He was up to something. We all knew it. Stefan said he was missing meeting and not coming into work yet he was always busy. We'd find him talking to wrong type of people. It didn't take a genius to know that he had a plan in his head. It sure sparks suspicion when suddenly a high class man like Giuseppe takes interest in the tragedies of Mystic Falls. And yet I wasn't going to say anything about it. My plan was to keep my nose out of his business just as long as we had the same goal. The guilt of that was over bearing but not enough for me to change my mind.

"Speaking of the Salvatore's, does Damon know you're getting an apartment?"

"No," I said while avoiding her judgmental gaze.

"Still fighting?"

"Were not fighting, we just had an argument."

"An argument that has left you two not on speaking terms," she gave me a look as if daring me to disagree.

"You're escalating it. We're just in a disagreement about some things that has left us with nothing to say to each other at the moment."

"What exactly are those things anyway?"

Her words brought me back to our argument and the familiar guilt came creeping back in.

"_We don't know what he's doing! All we know is that he is trying to save you. Just let it go!" I yelled at Damon while blocking his path to the door before he could leave and ruin everything. _

"_You're a smart girl Elena, be logical. Whatever he's doing is wrong!"_

"_I know that he's probably up to no good, but Damon this is your chance!"_

"_Whatever he's doing, I'm sure it's illegal and I don't want to be a part of that." _

"_Do you want to die?" I whispered, staring at him in bewilderment. I couldn't understand why he wouldn't just let this one thing go. "You're going to die and I can't let that happen." _

"_Elena, you do not get to control this! Get that through your head and stop living in denial. If I get a heart, it will be in the right way. I'm not taking that away from someone else." He stormed past me, still fuming while slamming the door behind him_.

"I don't want to talk about it," I replied, very much not wanting to reveal anything about our argument.

"Fine then," she sighed, clearly disappointed. There was only a few moment of silence before she had to begin again. "It wasn't about you moving here, was it?"

"No. Why would you think that?" I asked confused.

"It's just well… I figured since you are looking for an apartment and I don't really want to live alone so I might as well just stay too."

"Wait, you want to move here with me?"

"I mean, isn't it logical? I have you and Stefan, there's nothing really holding me to California." There were a thousand things I could list in my mind why she shouldn't and everything she was leaving behind.

"Are you sure you're not just going to be doing this for me. I don't want you to feel like you have to."

"No, I want this. I've been thinking about it since we've came here. I like it here. It's different from anywhere I've been."

"So you're really going to stay with me?" I couldn't hold back my excitement anymore.

"Yes!" She smiled and rolled her eyes. "What are we going to do about the apartment?"

"Well I'm guessing we should go back and pack all our things and tie up all our loose ends soon. There's a lot of money being wasted on a place we don't even really live in."

"Do you want to go this weekend?" It all seemed like it was going so fast. I hesitated but realized this may be the only ideal time. Who knew what the next few weeks held for us.

"Yea, I guess."

"Damon won't be mad that I'm stealing you away for a few days?"

"I'm sure he'll manage."

* * *

><p>"Seriously Caroline, I just want to grab my things and go. Do you really have to freshen up your make up?"<p>

We've been sitting in the boarding house's driveway, waiting for Caroline to finish her touch ups before going inside. It had been a few days since we found a decent enough apartment. I had already packed most of my things from Jenna's and all I had to do was stop here and then go grab them from her house. We both had to pick up some things we had lying around the house before heading dropping our stuff at the apartment and then heading to the airport. If everything went according to plan we'd be back in two days with all our belongings. That is if we ever got out of the car.

"Okay, okay, I'm done!"

"I'm sure Stefan will think you're beautiful."

"Like I care what Stefan thinks," she lied while stepping out of the car.

We walked into the house only to find Stefan there.

"Where's Damon?" I asked him while looking around. I wanted to talk to him quick before we left. The last thing I wanted was for there to be any tension between us.

"I don't know. He's not here though," he said and I frowned.

"Stefan you can't let him go off without knowing where he'll be. What if something happens to him and we can't find him!"

"I'm sorry; he's just in a bad mood lately. I was more than happy to get him out of the house."

"Now that Caroline and I are leaving, you have to keep a close eye on him and don't let him do anything stupid. You're just going to have to deal with his personality."

"Yes, I know that Elena," He rolled his eyes at me. "If you haven't forgotten, I was the one who had to take care of him all before you knew what was happening."

"And he ran off to California!" Stefan grunted in frustration and before he could get a word out in response, Caroline interrupted us.

"Everything will work out, Elena. He can handle Damon for just two days."

"Yea, it will all be fine," Stefan added.

"It's just the mother in her coming out again," Caroline said to Stefan before heading up the stairs. "I'll grab our stuff."

"I'm just worried I guess. We haven't talked since Monday and I don't want something to happen to him when the last thing we did was fight."

"Damon told me what you guys were arguing about. I'm not going to lie; I thought the argument would be the other way around."

"I know. I'm an awful person. I just want him to be better so bad." I flopped down on the couch and sighed. "Deep down, I know that whatever Giuseppe is up to, I won't agree with. It's just easier to turn a blind eye."

"If you asked me, it's more his stubbornness with dad more than what's right and wrong."

"It doesn't matter. He thinks accepting help makes him weak. His pride just gets in the way."

"That happens a lot, doesn't it?"

"You have no idea," I told him while thinking back to every moment in my life where if Damon wasn't so proud things would have been so much simpler.

"He cares about you, you know."

"I'd give anything for him to just wake up one day and realize that it's okay to do more than just care about me."

"What if he doesn't?" Stefan questioned.

"I guess then that will just have to be enough."

"Okay so I found two shirts, a pair of jeans and pajamas. Is that it?" Caroline came down the stars breaking the silence that ensued after our conversation.

"I think so. We should get going or we are going to be late." I grabbed the clothes out her hands and headed towards the door but pulled back as it opened from the outside.

"Damon," I stated. I didn't now whether to hug him and apologize or be stubborn. "Hey," I said lamely trying to put on a happy face and not let my frustration for him show.

"Hi," he said while walking past me in a nonchalant matter.

"Where were you?" I asked, ignoring his mood.

"Feeding the poor, clothing the homeless, you know the usual things I do on a Friday afternoon." I peered at him, showing how much his sarcasm drove me crazy.

"Okay, I know we had a disagreement, but I'm trying here."

"Sure you are," he said bitterly while eyeing the clothes in my arms. His gaze fell back to me and all I could see was anger in his eyes before he turned his back and walked away from us and out of the room.

"What the hell just happened?" I asked Caroline and Stefan who looked utterly shocked and confused.

"I told you he's been grumpy."

"I was trying to apologize," I huffed in annoyance while trying to figure out what to do. "Hold this." I shoved my clothes into Stefan's hands before running after Damon.

"Damon?" I called throughout the house as I searched. When I finally got to his room, I went in without knocking to find him standing by his dresser.

"I know you're mad at me."

"You forgot these," he said while throwing a pair of shorts at me.

"Why are you acting like this?"

"Like what, Elena, mad, upset, hurt? I'm pretty sure you can put the pieces together." He avoided eye contact while taking off his shirt and walked into his bathroom. I didn't hesitate to follow. I needed to get to the bottom of this.

"I don't understand. Can you just explain this to me?" My voice cracked in desperation as I begged for some type of answer so I could fix this.

"I'm going to shower and take a nap. You're the last person I want to see right now, so if you don't mind." He made a gesture to his door but I didn't budge to move.

"I'm not leaving till you explain."

"I can't even look at you right now," he muttered in disgust while making his way over to the shower to turn it on.

"What are you talking about?"

"I stopped at Jenna's today to apologize! I saw your bags. Did you really think you could hide that from me?"

"Okay, so I should have told you but we haven't really talked and I thought you would be mad about me moving. I don't understand why you're so mad."

"We get in one fight and you just give up! You left me once, and I could barely bear it. I actually thought that you would never do this to me again, but I was wrong, so wrong. So please understand that you doing this again to me, doesn't really put me in a feel good mood."

"I'll be back in a few days! I didn't think it was that big of a deal, if I would have known you'd be so mad I would have told you!"

"What?" He whispered.

"Caroline and I are going to pack up the things from the apartment and move them into the one we just rented." He stared at me in confusion, putting the pieces together. "You thought I was leaving you?"

"What was I supposed to think?" He asked in a lighter tone. "You don't have the best track record."

"I told you I wasn't going anywhere! I promised. Why would you think for even a moment I'd leave?"

"Let's not pretend that you are actually happy here. You have so many reasons to leave and continue living your life in California."

"Really, Damon, name one."

"You have to take care of me and you're leaving your dream school, and... "

"I don't mind taking care of you." I cut him off before could continue to list anymore non-important things. "I want to be the person you rely on. I'm prepared to give up everything because you're worth it."

"No, I'm not. I can't even... be with you, the way you want me to." He said gently with regret. I swallowed and looked down at my feet, trying to find words to make that statement false. '

"Is that why you're scared to be with me? You think I could just up and leave you at any moment?"

"You deserve a lot better than me, Elena."

"I don't believe that," I whispered. "That is not something I will argue with you about, because I know the truth."

"Elena! We have to hurry or we're going to be late!" I heard Caroline calling from what sounded like the bottom of the stairs.

"So, you're coming back?" He vulnerably asked.

"Of course I am. I got an apartment a few minutes away from here. I was going to tell you, you didn't really let me." A small smile spread across his face as he shook his head and laughed a little.

"So all this was for nothing?"

"Basically."

"Call me the moment you get back so I can make it up to you." I saw him stepping closer for what seemed like a hug but I immediately stopped him.

"If you hug me shirtless, I won't let go." He rolled his eyes but hugged me anyway.

"Don't leave me, okay?"

"I tried the whole letting go and never see each other thing. It didn't really work for me," I whispered into his chest.

"Okay, the last thing I want to do is interrupt you two having make up sex but we really have to go." I heard Caroline say down the hallway as she turned into the room. "Oh my God, I knew it!" She pointed at Damon with her mouth open.

"It's not-", I began but she continued.

"Stefan! I was right!" She yelled out the door. "The airport can wait, you guys just continue."

"We are leaving." I detached myself from Damon and went over to Caroline, trying to shove her towards the door. "You embarrassed me enough."

"Were you going to do it in the shower?" She eyed the running water.

"Let's go!"

"Fine," she whined while turning around but not before looking Damon up and down and giving him a thumbs up.

"I'll see you in a few days." I told him. "And yes, you are definitely going to have to make it up to me somehow."

**_AN: I'm sooooo sorry! I feel like every AN I do, I'm apologizing. I've been dealing with a death in my family that really hit me hard. I'm behind in everything in my life right now and I'm desperately doing catch up and this was just shoved to the back burner._**

**_I planned on this being the last chapter but I just couldn't end it the way I planned. So I don't know when this will end. I do plan on it being soon but I'm no longer making promises. It could be the next chapter or the next three, who knows. The ending is kind of up in the air right now. Thanks for hanging in there:)_**

**_Review!_**


	22. I will love you 'til the end of time

"_**True love stories never have endings."**_

_**Richard Bach**_

**Elena POV**

"I don't understand. You and Damon aren't together but you're together?"

"Now you're making me confused." Caroline and I sat down outside the Grill waiting for our waiter. We had just gotten back from a six hour flight that really took its toll on us. "What I'm saying is there is no possible way you are going to be setting me up on any more dates."

"Because you're taken?"

"I'm not taken."

"This is so confusing! Why are you doing this to me?"

"You think it's confusing for you, try being in my shoes. He knows I love him and he says stuff that- well stuff that I've been wishing for since I was a kid."

"Well he's definitely into you."

"I just wish this wasn't a big waiting game. I wish everything wasn't life or death. Wouldn't most people want to take advantage of the time we have?"

"You see that he's doing this all for you, right? He doesn't want to hurt you."

"How can he not being with me, spare me? If he… If he dies, it's not going to hurt any less. I would want these last moments."

"He's not going to die Elena."

"I've been telling myself those words on a regular basis. It's starting to get harder and harder to believe in them. Maybe it's for the best things stay the way they are."

"Have I ever told you that when we first met you drove me crazy?"

"What?" I gasped in shock.

"You were everything every guy wanted, what every girl wanted to be. Of course once I got to know you I fell in love with you too," she giggled a bit before continuing, "You are that girl that loves whole heartedly and doesn't hold back for anything. Don't you forget that. Don't let Damon forget that."

"So you're saying…"

"Don't give up and don't count yourself out. It's not you."

As I was thinking over her words I glanced at the people walking down the sidewalk; going about their normal lives. Hopefully one day it will be like that again for me.

"Giuseppe?" I gasped when seeing Damon's father getting out of his car that was parked right in front of the Grill. He was on the phone but once I caught his attention he immediately hung up.

"Elena, I was just looking for you." He walked up to our table and I could see Caroline visibly stiffen.

"Really?"

"I was wondering if you could have a chat with my son. We seem to be having a disagreement."

Last thing I heard was Damon was going to set Giuseppe straight. I didn't get any time for him to tell me the rest of the story.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what went on between you two but whatever it was, I stand behind Damon."

"I'm not doing anything wrong. That's where Damon is confused."

"The situation doesn't look great. Last time Damon and I were at the hospital we saw you talking to the Fell family." Over a year ago Logan Fell got into a deadly car crash that only he survived; technically. He was brain-dead but no one in his family, or the community had the heart to see him go, even if he wasn't really there.

"I am only trying to do what's best. That Fell boy isn't waking up anytime soon and there is a huge chance that Damon will get his heart.."

"That's someone's family. We don't get to make those choices."

"It would be best for all of us, Elena. You know this. That family is swimming in debt, we need a heart and they have one."

"And I bet you have enough money to make that debt go away." His silence was only conformation of the suspicions that everyone had. "I get it Giuseppe. I really do. But Damon doesn't want that. I'm not going to convince him otherwise."

"You guys are making a mistake. This is his only chance." With that he walked away towards the entrance of the Grill, leaving Caroline and I both speechless.

* * *

><p>"I don't understand why you get to wear sweats while I have to dress up," I complained to Caroline as we sat outside the boarding house in her car. She was rummaging through her purse, ignoring my complaints.<p>

"You look hot. Why does it matter? Besides, I'm sure Damon will appreciate it."

"Don't you think it's a little much for just having a barbeque with the guys?"

"No such thing as being too hot, Elena."

"It looks like I'm trying hard."

"You are trying hard. Didn't we just have this discussion? Now stop whining."

"Okay, alright," I sighed while checking my reflection one more time in the mirror. "We should probably go in; we were supposed to be here ten minutes ago." I got out of the car and started to walk down the pathway to the house before stopping when noticing Caroline wasn't following.

"Uh, I forgot the beer," she said out the window.

"That's fine. I'm not going to drink and no one's going to let Damon drink."

"No, I promised I would bring it."

"Caroline, I'm sure they'll understand."

"I'll be back." She started backing out of the driveway before I could protest anymore.

Now I had to walk in there looking all fancy-dancy by myself?

I knocked on the door, waiting a few seconds before walking in. "Hello?" I called into the almost fully darkened room. I shut the door behind me while straining my eyes and heading towards the distant glow coming from the room down the hall. "Damon?" I walked past the room and stopped dead in my tracks at what I saw.

The dinning room table was set for two and the only form of light was the candles lit all around the room.

"You're late."

"What is all this?" I whispered while looking around the room then back to Damon.

"I told you I owed you." He pulled out the chair in front of me and for a moment I didn't know what to say or do. I sat down and took in my surroundings again.

Was this a date? I certainly couldn't see Damon wine and dinning Alaric like this but I didn't have the courage to ask.

"You had Caroline in on this, didn't you? She was driving me crazy today. It took her an hour to convince me to dress up. I'm glad I did."

"I'm surprised she could keep her mouth shut. I thought for sure the beans would be spilled."

"This is really sweet. No one has ever done something like this for me."

"I just thought you deserved something nice."

I glanced down at the spaghetti on my plate and smiled at all the memories I had growing up in this house and eating Damon's mom's spaghetti almost every night.

"Please tell me this is your mom's recipe?"

"Yep, it's the famous Salvatore sauce. Dig in." Before taking a bite, I took Damon in. He was trying. He was trying so hard but I knew him better. Something was off about him. His natural smirks were a little forced and he's never fully relaxed since I've gotten here. I watched as he readjusted in his seat, trying to get more comfortable.

"So what did you do when I was gone?" I asked, trying to get his mind off whatever was going on with him.

"I spent my time sleeping and waiting for you to come back."

"The whole time I was gone I wanted to be back here right away. I don't know how we did it going three years without seeing each other when I can barely go three days now."

"Me neither. I don't know how I survived without you. I need you."

"I'm always going to need you too." I looked into his eyes and for a moment, just a moment, everything seemed okay. The moment was easily broken when I realized he hasn't touched his food yet. "Are you hungry?"

"I-uh, not anymore," he said lightly after taking a deep breath. He was doing that a lot lately. As if trying to catch his breath every once in a while.

"Are you feeling sick?"

"No, it's fine. It's probably just my medication acting up on me again. I'm not going to let it ruin this night. I refuse."

"I'm just worried."

"Don't be. Now go ahead and tell me how great my cooking is."

"It is delicious; way better than any restaurant but… not as great as your mothers." He gave a slight laugh while shaking his head.

Throughout the dinner I was doing my best to keep him occupied. I could tell he wasn't feeling good and if he wasn't so stubborn I would make him go lay down. I knew if I even suggested that he would get upset so I didn't mention it.

"So I lost the bet and for the Halloween party Caroline made me go in this little hotdog costume and all you could see was my face. It was so embarrassing! It was my first year there, I didn't know anyone at the party and then suddenly I lose Caroline in the crowd and I'm stuck in some kitchen with a drunken guy who kept trying to put ketchup on me." By this time I had Damon full on laughing and hopefully his pain had been pushed into the back of his head.

"I would have loved to see that!"

"Knowing you, you would have been completely sober and be putting ketchup on me and calling me a weenie for years."

"I would have covered you in it. We have to make a bet so I can make you do this again."

"That's the only bet I've ever lost! If she lost all I was going to do was make her go TP this sorority house we both hated. I wish that's what she made me do."

"It's a good thing you didn't because you suck at it. Remember after that big football game, you came to TP the house because of Stefan and-"

"My toilet roll went through your window and hit you!" We both couldn't contain our laughter again and I had to wipe some of the tears away. "I was trying to be so conspicuous. It didn't work."

"Oh God, I love you," he said in-between his laughter and suddenly we both went silent. We stared at each other for a brief moment, not knowing what to say before without missing a beat we both burst into laughter again.

It was after dinner that the laughter stopped and the pain I was desperately trying to hold off, crept back up on him. He wouldn't admit it but every once in a while I saw him discreetly clutching his chest. Stefan told me that lately his chest pain was starting to get worse but my gut instinct told me something was far more wrong here. There was more going on.

I handed him a dish to dry before suddenly it crashed to the floor and he was grasping the counter top to balance himself.

"Are you okay?" I gaped while holding him upright. "What happened?"

"Just a little dizzy," he barely mumbled.

"Damon have you been having chest pain?"

"No, just a little bit discomfort." He was able to upright himself and attempted to bend down to grab the broken dish before I stopped him.

"No, no way. We are going to sit down and you're going to tell me what all going on." I led him over to the living room and forced him down on the couch.

"It's fine, Elena."

"Tell me what's been going on. What's hurting?"

"It's not hurting there's just some uncomfortable pressure in my chest that's been coming and going."

"And you're not feeling well?"

"Just a little naus-," He wasn't able to finish his sentence before groaning in pain and suddenly grasping his chest.

"You're okay," I whispered while letting him squeeze my hand. "Damon, you're having symptoms of a heart attack. We need to call for an ambulance."

* * *

><p>I paced back and forth the familiar hospital waiting room for what felt like a lifetime. In reality it was only two hours that I had been waiting. I called Caroline and Stefan but no one answered so it was just me. They were probably both asleep right now, completely clueless as to what was going on. To be honest they were probably lucky. This pacing was beginning to drive me mad.<p>

"I know that look," I heard someone say to me. "The coffee may suck but it helps a little bit." I turned in their direction to see a woman who was probably only a few years older than me and looked awfully familiar handing me a cup of coffee.

"Thanks," I was able to say a few moments after taking a sip of the coffee that I've gotten used to over the past few months. "I know you from somewhere."

"Oh, I'm Meredith Fell. You're Elena Gilbert, right? We've met a few times at the Founder events."

"Oh yea, I'm sorry. My brains a little jumbled right now."

"It's okay, I've been there. So what are the unfortunate events that led you here?"

"I'm here with Damon Salvatore. He's… he's having a bad night."

"I see." She nodded in understanding. "Yea I heard about what's happening. I'm sorry." Everyone's heard what's going on.

"Thanks."

"You guys are dating right?"

"I-uh..." I had no idea how to answer this question. "No."

"Oh, I just... all I've heard lately is about you two."

"Really?" I asked shocked. "I forgot about small town gossip was like."

"It get's old. Before you came back and word about Damon got around all this town could talk about was my cousin."

"How's he doing?"

"He's still unresponsive and still not waking up."

"I can't imagine what you must be going through."

"I'm a doctor. I've seen this before and I know the odds. My family has been told the odds but they won't listen. He's not going to wake up, I know this. I think the only reason they leave for the night is because I promise them I'll check up on him whenever I can during my shift."

"That must be hard." She nodded before taking another sip from her cup. "Listen, I know Giuseppe has been coming around. I just want you to know that we're getting him to stop. He has no place in-"

"You don't think he's right?"

"What?" I asked dumfounded. Those were the last words I had expected to come from her mouth.

"You don't think it may be best that way? I love my cousin, but my family is suffering, you're suffering. Maybe it's time to let him go."

"That's not a decision Giuseppe, Damon, or myself can force onto you."

"I've been gently trying to convince them for a while now to pull the plug. Maybe now it would be easier to do so."

Meredith's break ended and after another hour of waiting I was finally able to see him. He had to lay flat for a few hours and was going to be in the hospital for a day or two. I tried not to let him show how scared to death I was, but to be honest, I think he saw right through me.

"Tonight didn't go the way I planned it."

"It was nice for the most part."

"No, it should have gone differently."

"How?"

"I should have been able to drive you back to your apartment and give you a kiss on the cheek. I would have told you how much fun tonight has been and how every moment we're together I'm just happy."

"Just a kiss on the cheek? That's not like the Damon Salvatore I know."

"Well maybe I would have given you a real kiss if you would have let me."

"You know I would." He grinned slightly and discovered that it may be one of my favorite things about him. "Are you feeling better? Anything hurt?"

"I'm okay right now. You're lucky it wasn't a false alarm or I would be making you pay that ambulance bill."

"I don't know if I'm ready for jokes yet."

"Well good. I don't want you joking about my possible death."

"Damon I'm serious, stop it." The uneasiness of my voice alarmed him enough to stop.

"Listen Elena," he said as he held onto my hand while looking me straight in the eye. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I just can't ever think of a world you don't exist in. I can't do it, not even joking around."

"When I first got diagnosed, I'd given up. I thought it was the end but I can't think like that anymore. I've got something to live for and I can promise you this as long as you are around I'm not leaving. I'm not going to leave you. I love you too much to do that." My eyes reached there limit as the silent tears made their way down my cheeks.

"You love me?"

"I've always had." Not caring that I probably wasn't aloud to be doing this, I crawled up onto the bed next to him and wrapped my arms around him. Forgetting about right or wrong, I kissed him with all I had to give; and suddenly everything didn't matter beside that fact that I was with him.

"I love you," He mumbled against my lips again.

"I could really get used to hearing that."

* * *

><p><strong>2 Days Later<strong>

I went through the bag of Damon's clothes and put them onto the bed.

"I hope you don't mind black, I know it's not really your color," I said sarcastically as I set down the clothes onto the bed that I brought from the house. Damon was finally being released and I could tell that he was a bit nervous to go home.

"I think I'll survive."

"You go change and I'm going to go call Stefan. Do you need anything else?"

"Well you know I really wouldn't mind if you wanted to help me get naked."

"I'm pretty sure you can accomplish that on your own."

"Yea, I know. That's not what I was saying though." I smiled and rolled my eyes while walking out of the room. I didn't get cell service unless I was standing near the lobby.

"Elena?" I stopped in my tracks and turned around to see Meredith out of her scrubs and in jeans.

"Are you okay?" I immediately asked when I noticed that she was crying.

"Yea, I'm… no not really." She crossed her arms and I didn't know whether to hug her or not. She didn't seem like too much of a huger.

"What happened?"

"It was his time, I just didn't… I didn't think…" She broke down again and instead of hesitating I quickly wrapped my arms around her and let her sob. "My family agreed with me. They actually did it, he's gone."

"I'm so sorry."

She let go of me wiped her face from the tears. "You should go see Damon."

"But-"

"No go," she shoved me back towards the direction I came from before some people that I assumed she worked with came up to speak with her. I didn't get to think before I was jogging down the hall way and towards Damon's room.

The moment I reached the room, I knew he knew. He never got a chance to change as he just sat there staring off into space.

"Damon?" I asked warily.

"It's really happening?" He whispered.

"Yes," I whispered on the verge of tears.

Rushing across the room he held me in his arms and squeezed me so tight I could barely breathe.

"This is it, Elena."

"I know," I gasped out.

Everything we hoped for was leading up to this one moment. This moment where suddenly we had our whole lives ahead of us again.

The End

_**AN: I'm so sad it's over! I hate ending stories but I just started a new one that I'll be putting all my effort into. It's called Just A Friend. Go check it out **_

_**Thank you sooooooooooooo much for sticking through this story with me! **_


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